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4d · 15
Who
Who
You and I

will never be together

and

yet

I am tethered to you
Jul 29 · 148
twenty
this is what it looks like



barren

blank

in absentia
Jul 20 · 180
Venom
She looks just like your type

The kind you leave eventually

     because she’s not me

I will see    you     again

.
Jul 20 · 156
Stinger
You’ll do it to me every time …. … .



the pinch and burn

I

can’t

not
Jul 8 · 20
The one that got away
I had the strangest thought
as I pulled up to the stop sign

You lifted your finger as if to wave
when I signaled you to proceed from the
four way stop

and I thought
“What if that was a potential ….”
the possibilities endless
and the moment lost
Jul 8 · 231
Seven 7 21
so sad that I can’t share this joy with you

telling that you’re not here
The days go trickling past
as the day goes trickling past

When I finally find myself on the other side of the door.....

Facing the precipice

Toes curled in anticipation
....suspense

or terror

To meet your gaze
awkwardness abounds

Feels like home

Both welcoming and bittersweet after all this time

nothing but
time
separating us

Except in this moment
Jan 28 · 688
Toria says
I love you like an earthquake crashing the world in on us

It’s been two years since I touched you

Yet I still feel you
Dec 2020 · 64
Spoons
I want to feel the *****-le
                                         of
                                    your
                     ­           Skin as
                          your body
                  a puzzle piece
             snaps into my Z -
         curve thighs juxtaposed
     mine back to yours front joined
melted melded mended most effortlessly
Oct 2020 · 77
balance
What you fail
to see
thru
your twisted
perspective
is that I’m not taking
your power
and
I never have.
What I am doing
is taking back
my power
so
I won’t be so hurt anymore.
It’s not
my fault
you gave all yours away.
It’s not my job to restore that for you.
Sep 2020 · 51
Paradise Thunder
I feel the healing
every moment
I breathe this air
the wind chime
soundtrack
punctuated by the chainsaw drone
wood smoke
floating on the gentle gusts
soul
search
feels like peace
Sep 2020 · 178
Forbidden Fruit
Brief visit in the garden

At first I cast myself
     as Eve
  just seemed logical

On second thought -
    I was the apple

I see the memory of
      my juices dripping
          from your chin
Aug 2020 · 75
room to breathe
“All I need is this air in my lungs...”

No need
to chat
pondering
perseverating
the particulars
of the facts
Letting go
is a
powerful
exhale
Aug 2020 · 80
Cotton Candy
I’ll be the first to admit
     I’m a little
          Fluffy

Colorful

          Spun

And
  Melt
      In
        Your
            Mouth
Sweet
Jul 2020 · 153
commemoration
That day you got off

    my pain a prescient phenomena
of the future of our union

No worries

I wore misleading “white”
You stated misleading vows

       A sanctified (doomed) promise of fornever
Oct 2019 · 398
My baby broken heart
man child of mine
Too soon for your broken heart
or hers
Or Mine
Love will persist
divine in its being

Trust

Breathe

Be
Jul 2019 · 203
L’amour est dangereux
Again
     (or more likely, still)

GOTCHA

Seems silly to be surprised
               (She’s missing you.....)

Defend and protect


It’s what you do best.
Mar 2019 · 218
32.5
the years since our introduction
Takes
     My
           Breath
                Away
Jun 2018 · 378
not afraid of angels
when they come to me in a dream
(offering promises of carnal delight)
“you and me
we should probably just let it be”
I agree
but it shouldn’t feel
this good
this fine
this free
just to be with you
even in a figment of my imagination
and then I said
“I have to go“
feeling the absence
slowly seep
as I ascend
a rocky stair
without turning back
certain you are still there
Apr 2018 · 276
Chronology of a user name
(Nick)
With him I found my body and my heart
(Jamie)
He provoked confidence that led to a series of firsts and adventures
(Brad)
Hit and run but I had no visible injuries
(Craig)
Electricity without the bill, if you know what I mean.....?
(Brad)
Again.....a worthy distraction
(Ted)
I learned patience (and idolatry)
(B)
So inexplicably sad....a tragedy
(Brad)
The one that always and never could be

And in the end of the perfect day
Just me
Apr 2018 · 238
Salvation
Really
the only
visceral force
propelling him
thru time
is the
life threatening
hunger
to
inhabit
the place
inside
of her
where his soul was safe
Mar 2018 · 201
IDLY
today
I
Don’t
Love
You
today
insight epiphany
Jan 2018 · 237
Basil’s table for two
I remember that night

(a fresh faced ingenue....)
Feeling so cosmopolitan
     we were framed in the oversized windows facing the busy street
     like one of those old black and white photos capturing
          the romance in the moment
Probably a dish with
“Au gratin” or “Alfredo “ in the name....
Assured by her breathlessness
     anticipating something (but what?)
His smoky Greco stare
almost pleading
     definitely hungry
eventually
her loss
Her gain
their Wild At Heart refrain
echoes still in my ear
Nov 2017 · 186
the last word
have
you
ever
met
an
expert
at
making
others
feel
like
****
?
I've
come
across
a
few
.
just
when
you
think
you
see
a
glimmer
of
humanity
you
regain
perspective
a­s
they
open
their
mouths
.
Oct 2017 · 294
Voluntary lapse of reason
The rumble of a lawn tractor next door...
     reminds me of.....
the guttural snare in the back of your throat
as you
     lean in to nuzzle my neck with your nose
   I feel your hands on my hips
anticipating

     more
Jun 2017 · 232
A collective loneliness
Your presence a void
"He's not here...."
Laughter echoes with a hollow tang
Missing has become the way
I crave
Your presence....voice.....aroma
Reminded now of then
Pretend you know
I pity you for not knowing the truth
Lying back
I feel you around me and in me
Knowing....me
Knowing you
Apr 2017 · 261
Plaza & Park
I returned to find
depleted exhaust of years
forgotten

We were on the 4th floor

Today I'm on 6

Missing your lust

But remembering....

Vividly.
Apr 2017 · 235
a new
I grasp the blush of spring green
      that drowns the
waning gilded tresses
bleeding into the blonde stabs
      a glow of radiance........
A sudden spasm
brings joy
      then, pain
You
  And
I
no I
get it?
Mar 2017 · 404
2/15/17
Dare to stand on the edge when your
Integrity has been called into question
Slanderous accusations bellowed
Malicious
Intent falls short of its goal
Soar above the fray and
Stay true, stay strong and in the
End honor and truth will prevail
D**are to care, even for the careless deviants
Officially exonerated
Feb 2017 · 214
suppressed by a memory
forever in the shadow
of your hot breath
licking at my throat
drawing out the inconsistencies
between us and them
when it is only myself
I'm going to be brutally honest
I'm scarred  from all  your lies
and your backstabbing took me by surprise
I probably could have recovered
if you had stopped the relentless attack
Let me get up, limp  away
Lick my wounds  and shield my back
What doesn't **** ya makes you stronger
I'm telling you , there’s  no strength that I lack
But the biggest surprise of all-
Your lack of regret and omissions
of apologies
It only speaks to your inhumanity
A lack of character and social regard speaks to a  sad state of antisocial nature
It is a profound coward
driving by in the dark of night
shouting threats and profanity
too psychotic and loathing of self
to show her face
I've no tolerance for the weak minded-
the pathetically insecure
monsters
of this world
who thrive and are nourished with their evil emissions
Consider yourself disregarded

I have transcended to my state of grace
Perhaps, someday you will be forgiven...
perhaps not....

We all answer to the universe
Nov 2016 · 576
middle finger
there is no gesture so profound .....
Nov 2016 · 322
Stash of old love letters
The clarity came on

came in

came to me

came to be

I came

from where

I came
Yes ...... and .......yes
I
     I
I
     Love
and
     I
I
     I
Linger
Jul 2016 · 331
basement: a haiku
you descend alone
exhaling a soul empty
entering your tomb
Someone said this to me
recently
So I am reminded
to stay  mindful
of the sensations that saturate
Deliverance
Rescue
and
Salvation
have set me free
Jun 2016 · 450
Happy Ending
May 2016 · 347
at last leaving liberated
walking away
           from
all you
                    gormless drones

master of my domain

finally
           the shackles of
CORRUPTION
                    melt
      away
                            and
I am truly free
no better feeling
May 2016 · 282
synchronicity
the
perfect
mix
of
presence
and
absence
Apr 2016 · 285
boom
life
is
half
over
and over before you know it...,
Apr 2016 · 264
Most Precious
Your arrival
the period on the sentence
family
Angel
of mine
9 years ago-my gift
Mar 2016 · 394
crash
surf collides with jagged rock
the color of earth
I imagine the pull
rolling under
and how quiet the numb would be
if only
but one moment
a slip of the tongue
Feb 2016 · 264
What do you say?
gone

"Kam is gone. Shot himself today. **** "

never know

"He just gave up, mixture of pain pills and *****."

I'm sorry

To be so close and so distant

removed
Feb 2016 · 360
How to trace a whisper
It's there
     in the shiver of my spine

Only when I convince
         myself
         that
         in fact
you (never) could've been mine

finding myself
     lost
within and without

          always and ever about
you

I follow the fading path
          merely a dull throb

that undulates
        and
reverberates
at
     the
          atomic
               level
an echo audible only in my marrow
Jan 2016 · 445
the day i lost you
started out just like any other  
ended wrapping my arms around my mother
she tiptoed to the foot of the bed
and she knew before she knew that you were dead
still remembering the shrill ring of the phone
and the forever drive all alone
the dispatcher withholding, vague, concise
the road (and my heart) left frozen in ice
didn't know what to expect
but knew enough to suspect
this couldn't end well
one more visit to my hell
Your childhood teddy bear spoke to me that morning- the music box long silenced tinkled its tune unexpectedly....1/19/14
Jan 2016 · 537
hippocampus
somehow
my
cosmic
wisdom
sensed
beyond
the
tragic
brokenness
to
the
essence
of
beauty
in
your
soul
Jan 2016 · 293
Later: (sometime in 2011)
This is what its all about.
This is what's familiar.
The shiny ribboned gift of doubt
The silence like a shimmer.

Wonder
Wonder
Worry
Will it ever cease?

Worry
Worry
Wonder
Will there ever be peace?

Its tricky on this slippery *****.
Its treacherous on this journey.
Emotions like wild animals trampling hope
Knowing my vulnerability.
Jan 2016 · 310
No substitute
Baby
I know how you like it.....

Settling for the saccharine sweet.

Well,
You'll never get any better than
Sugar.

The real deal

Raw
Pure
and
Rare.
Anything less leaves you so unsatisfied.....You must be so hungry.....
Nov 2015 · 420
Time travel
1978:
Tonite
made a tie blanket with my daughter
AND
watched "Grease"
Even though they started out
looking old and sounding squeaky
she was
singing along by the end
We go together like sha-ma-la-ma-la-ma......
1985:
**** vampire
Camp (hint fright night)
Perfect reminder that
I once was
2015
so bad
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