With the sun, you shine.
With the moon, you glow.
You're the treasure I find
Yet you'll never know.

Is love like
flipping a coin
Or water-flowing
Or electrons going
Only one direction
Possible at a time

©  2017 Jim Davis

I remember the way
the alcohol
lubricated our words to each other
and she told me those three
poisonous words:
"I love you"
Except she added
my name to the end
to make sure I knew
how important it was.
"You're the only
person I've said that to,"
She told me that night
as we parted ways

The next day she told
me that it didn't count
and that she was being
dramatic
and I remained in place
amongst those
who function better
as shadows,
withering under her
light,
hoping to hear the
meaningless words
again.

Depression is not when I attend a funeral,
And the dead have been prettied,
and the coffins have been chosen.
It is not the sorrow I feel..

Depression is not when I fail a test,
Nor is it when I dishonor my family,
Or when I make a fool out of myself that day.

Depression is when I laugh heartily with family,
And chatter fills the air, it's a grand time!
But hell.. Is it hard to breath.

Depression is when I am alone and at peace,
And the clock ticks and the ink drips,
And suddenly I am suffocating in my thoughts.
Like a deep sea of worry, stress and negativity.

Depression is when my body is stone,
And every move feels like I'm dragging tons.
And so, I shed black tears.

It is when my thoughts are in blots.
It is when I am inky.

~ M.M

You asked me to give you space,
   I told you yes, I'm sorry, I love you.
You asked me to stop reminding you,
   I told you yes, I'm sorry, I love you.
You asked me to give you privacy,
   I told you yes, I'm sorry, I love you.
You asked me to always be positive,
   I told you yes, I'm sorry, I love you.
I asked you to show me affection,
   You told me you're not that kind of man.

I told you I did it for us,
I told you I have anxiety,
I told you I have depression,
I told you I love you more than anything.

You told me I did it to myself.
You told me I make things up,
You told me to stop bringing you down,
You told me I make you hate your life.

I told you yes, I'm sorry, I love you.
   Please don't leave me.

You stayed.

I'm scared to ask why?

They should care, shouldn't they?
I am speaking my mind.
Witty. Opinionated. Bold.
And you (not) tell me no hearts?
In a sea of eyes, no one saw.
Bed of shoulders I can't lean on.
Cave of ears that only gave me an echo.
Hello?
Am I?
Are we alone? Together? At the same time?
Mindless and lifeless taps of filtered and augmented reality;
In search for fame for established credibilty.
Are my thoughts mine?
Or does this collective psyche trivializes the special rhyme?
Save.

There's a silence between us
unspoken of
a void,
if I dare say.

There are times
we may be close
but we are more unknown
to each other
than we really think.

Friend,
why are you so distant?
I understand
that you understand
that people come and go

But
why push me away?
I want to say
that it's okay
for longer
I want to stay.

I understand
that you're use to losing people
and you're no longer afraid
should I leave you.

True,
I do not know what goes on
in the depths of your mind
in the abyss of this great sea.

I do not know
the battles you've faced
the demons you have fought
the nightmares that choke
the reality out of you.

I may not know
what it feels like
to have severe anxiety,
to have panic attacks every once in a while,
to have social problems,
the list will go on...

I may not know everything about you
But I know this:
you are the most honest person
I have ever met.
And this honesty,
honestly, I must say,
It is bittersweet.

Truth be told,
I may not like everything you say
But I accept it.

Because,
What is truth if it doesn't hurt?

I don't know
why you are silent.
Maybe you figured,
without me
or anybody for that matter
that you'll be strong.

Don't get me wrong,
I know you are strong.
But you are also wrong
about one thing.

You may think I will leave you
Maybe, but still
not immediately
not yet.

I will keep waiting
right here, if you need a friend.
If time should separate us,
or you push me away and grow cold,
I'll still be here.

I'll still be
your friend.

I want to write some poetry
or type some text to you
but my brain is on some overload,
an I think it's turning blue

an not my shade of indigo,
as that's my favorite hue,

but more like blue of sadness deep
in an oceanic wave,

I hope it's not tsunami like
an if-
I pray to save,

The memories of you an I
the ones I've colored red,
as beautiful those memories are
to treasure when I'm dead,
but for now-
I'll just go back to sleep
an rest my weary head,

an hope to see some beautiful
an different colors,
again come the sun.

Ma Cherie © 2017