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I saw galaxies in your eyes.
But all you saw in mine was your own *reflection
I am young
Yet I'm unwilling to say that this
Makes me less
My eyes may not have seen the horrors
Of days gone by
But my generation has seen their own
I know
That experience is a ware
Held by the number of years
And wisdom to be bought by days
Yet these are things not necessary
To giving my number of days meaning
What if we measured worth by a number
Our experiences by our friends
Our years spent helping each other
And measured our wisdom
By the tiring work of our hands
What if the whispered compassion
Spoken over broken hearts
And the healing that friendly words
Have brought
Counted more in measuring a man
Than the number of wars he's fought
I know a life is a wonderful thing to share
But ours isn't worth any less
Based on our number of years
Our lips were close, yet never touching
the residue alone became quite addicting....
When is tomorrow?  
When tomorrow comes it will no longer be tomorrow
When tomorrow comes it will be today

What is later?
When later comes it will no longer be later
When later comes it will be now

But you can't say I'll do it today and then do it tomorrow
That would be a lie

You can't say I'll do it now and then do it later
Then you would be cheating yourself.

Or are you

Because if tomorrow becomes today
And if you say you'll do it today
But you do it tomorrow
Then you held true to your promise

Because if later becomes now
And if you say you'll do it now
But you do it later
Then no one can say you're wrong
Why is it no matter how many words
   I plaster to a page with a broken heart,
How many poems I write about you,
How much I love you,
   That we aren't together living in happily ever after?

You're engrained into every cell of my existence.
Because every beat of my heart cries out in pain for you.
Every tear that escapes from these hollowed eyes,
    Is every word I left unsaid to you.

*I'm sorry I never confessed my love for you,
It's just something you didn't need me to do.
Maybe you'll one day find out and know,
Perhaps then we will unite in love.
Tonight is just so much pain,
Of not having you.
Oh my love, how I miss your morning smile,
That once so pleasured my tedious long day.
Each word spoken by you a pleasant style,
Of twittering grace and luminous sway.
In all the words we spoke to the other,
None pleased such as words spoken for our love.
Each word so gentle, one after another,
Which caressed me as soft as silken glove.
But these are just shaking old memories,
Of visions so easily pushed aside.
Images that seek warm affinity,
Of other words which denied our divide.

These are my steady pictures of your eyes
Which held me focused on you as my prize.
After all this time,
All this pain,
This stupid tears,
This broken heart,

It's always been you.

After all of my madness,
All of my ignorance,
All of my rejections,
All of my anger,

It's always been you. Still.

I just...
don't want you to hurt me again,
**carelessly.
My tired eyes cry
My weary body lies
And why do my tears
Think they cannot dry?

Shaky hands and nervous throat
Exhausted heart, this stimulated soul
They ridiculously wait, day after day,
For a break from sorrow, a thing called hope.

How is it that I can live, but it is the hardest thing I ever did?

© Melissa Carlson 2016
I stopped fearing the night
When I realized
The darkness was
*Inside me
Inspired by Joker's Quote.
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