43 shots from a dead eye stare I catch death in a glare and watch the tear in your soul as he drags you through the holy stares cackling through bleeding eyes, nails in your teeth holes in your tongue all seem to scream the same thing, leave
So you go, ****** needles to use in the carousel of hate cracking your mind's eye
A Salem womb a dripping moon telling them to move

I feel so out of
my element
around you

& I can't understand
how a memory of a
thought
of an idea
could steer me
So wrong

Hate filled dreams
my eyes can't touch

Steer me wrong
But now the dream
Shallow & strong
comes
or close
or away
Breathe
Be gone

I want to disappear in your arms
Let you cover up my ears and my eyes
Never have to see or hear anything but you
I call to you every night and hold your hand
As I try to fall asleep
But every breath every moment speaks your name
And I can feel nothing
But everything
I feel
I feel for you

La la la
It goes on

Everytime I see your face
I melt more and more
Everyday without you is an open sore
Because when you're not here
I feel too alone to ignore
Everyday with you I feel you more
Because when we're near
And when we touch
When we touch
I melt a little more
&
More

I want to feel you amore some more
Because without you I'm alone too lone
And understand why I can't think or sleep
And wonder why you aren't here amore
Or more yet still why you are too far
So close so gone so here and more
And more I get the feel that without you near
I won't last long without your touch
Without your look
Without your soul
Without you more and more
Less your touch
Less your hope
Less your soul
I'll sink more and more
Amore, oh more I must speak more and more
But horror when the mind wants what it wants
Moi, that ***** for foul smoke and tar
Oh more and more I need not smoke
Nor bore of boar that ***** I must 'gnore
Because tis thee I crave, amore
Tis thee beyond reason or doubt
Tis thee for ever and thee without
Because, I know
Apologies but
Tis thee I need, amore
So so much more

I dilute the psychosis in a jar, pour it up the drain of insanity's shop and pile them up in mania's bar
****** leaked through the rail, bleeding faces paint him red
He beat his wife with a deranged face, they found her with a baby dead

You come a little closer, close your eyes, look into my cackling mind
I see legs and ugly faces, stare in the mirror
You're so ******* jaded
A binge goes by with the addition at your paces in a still position waiting on another ticket, ******* wisdom, ******* visions, ******* liver, spleen, ideal
Can You Spare a pain pill
It's raining
for another elevator while I'm raising
But I know something that you don't though

I feel the sky
Parting in so many ways

My life hurts my
ears
Oh madness
If I could tear
you open
see what's inside of you
If I could **** myself
I could be fine

Sweet agony &
apathy

These words speak
wisdom
Steer dreams

Apathy

If you could be
If you could see

Mockery

Despite knowing
this I hold it together

I hold for years
dreaming of the
sea
Oceans dark
& antipathetic

I wish it could
rain on days
like this
But I'm afraid of
water
& it hurts my skin

Kiss
Disease
freedom

Why can't I live
another day like this
another day like this

Beauty
hurts

Wisdom

Goodnight

Wen you are in pain
I'll carry you out the flames
I'll carry you home

And when you are home
I'll carry you once again
Til our joy attained

I love you in pain
I love you in joy's domain
I love you always

For eternity and a day

Sanity
fragile

My mind devours
& cowers in place
Of reason
Of forgetting

Another Bad Day
& I'm off
& gone again
& again I can't breathe
But I have someone with me
this time
To keep at bay
what monsters
have hid away

Help me apathy
Help me hero War
Help me to be
Keep away the thoughts
the suicide
the unholy matrimony

of sanity
and the reason
beyond reason

Treason of the brain
Goes like this

Slit the froat
Go like this
Shake the breeze
Go like this
Eat the ****
Go like this
Go like ******
Go like fleas
Go Away

A mocking gesture
& words like me
Freak me out

Anxiety of today
Go like this

I can't even pray to a God
I can only pray to a drug
And I can feel nothing through my gauze
'Cause I already lost my soul to...

And you've got ****** in your hair
That gun-hole mouth still don't care
Burning grins and hand grenades
As I scream "Hate hate hate"

But I can't even touch your skin
I can't even feel my own
Click/rot you're already dead
Click/rot do what you need

And you paint the eyes on your chin
And you don't know what hell you're in
So put the actors on the stage
And we'll never sleep again

So how you gonna **** up my life now
When I already put you 13 feet in the ground
How you gonna **** up your life now
When I already burnt the whole town
to the ground

I've sought after you for so long
Years bled from my mind
As I drudged from wrong to wrong
Years bled out my eyes

I dreamt every night
Hoping every other one was you
I dreamt every night
Would jump off the train
Tear myself apart
Rank with a sickness
**** myself
And lie to all else -
just to meet you

And I did
Again and again
Another gun to my head
White whiskey
****** and salacious
For nothing but the hope
That I never thought would be
The hope of you

And then I stopped
Looked up, crawled out - crawled up
And ran to you
I found you sitting next to me
And for the first time you weren't a shadow of a dream of a hope that would be - that it was
You were someone I knew once from a life or two passed
And now you're here
And now you're not
And I love you as I always did before

Then the morning came
And you were still by my side
The morning waned
And you said "until next time"
The day now falls and all I've spake
Is you're name against an angry sky
And all I can do is wait for you again

But I've fallen into the dream of days
And nothing is real, save your name
That I've spake a thousand times
Will never grow old never have to try

And this day - this day grows claws
I want their pain
I want their hooks
To stick back to my veins
Drag me away
Drag me away
Across the lake
Across the streets
Down the river
And over the day
I want them to throw me away
Up above the sun's rays
Tear me apart
Tear me away
Tear at my heart
& Make me pay

All that is well
So long as they
Drop me once again
By your feet
And I can say
I love you all the same

Did you think it would ever end?
Someone I had to befriend
Somewhere to ascend
I never thought I could

I was young
With no friends
No thing to do

I was gone
With no end
No thing to you

Did you think you were wrong?
Anyone you had was an hour long
Anywhere to belong
You never thought you would

Locked in a room too black to move
With nineteen walls too soon too few
Looked in a room too blue too soon
With seventeen songs to move to you
I don't know where you are
Located so many people
That maybe I've lost you
But where am I to go
When I've lost the only one I know

You sit in your room and dress, caressed
Flowers bloom and bruise and bloom again

Your white and wine
Twain of twine
Your red and rhyme
Save our lives

You sit in the moon and stress, depressed
Desire blooms will bruise and bloom again

-

The light, a light a little warmer
Perhaps an actor, right to write
But I prefer the former

The lines on his face
The sweat in his hair
Stepping off the cold metal chair
Untying her with death in his glare

I hate myself

Agony

Wicked, rotten corpse
of past
Be gone

And speak wisdom
to me
God or Goddess
Speak Strong

Help me see
what angels fight
to believe

Why is the sky blue
Why the ground brown
You're face an alley
I could drown in
But give me gold
Tell me lies
A bee's spine shall twist
In a Ruby's light
And everyday I sink in your eyes

You sew your mind to me
Or mine to you
And twice I sang a song called blue
The rose a coin or love and gloom
Til the sun arose thought only of you

But the news was all wrong
And I could tell you it was God
Some thought suicide
But I had long ago died
Before I met you

Why is the road wet
Why the sky white
Your eyes speak what cannot be bet
Or a job too light for a fool to get
And I might feel the airs of one like you
But I long ago rose
To a dream of you

I wish to get lost far from the doom I once sought so pure
I wish to get lost in someone like you
But a rope is stronger tied at both ends
And I would know if it's tied to you
But
I want to know myself tied with you
I want to know myself tied with you