Amber K

Amber K Jul 2015

I have come to a conclusion.
I'm sure everyone will argue with it.
I argued with it at first,
but it's the only thing that makes sense.

I have decided that...

the fault is not at the hands of those who hurt me.
I am the one who cared too much.
I am the one who chose to love the damaged.
I just love too much and too deeply.

I'd truly be a fool if I expected to never be hurt.

#heartbreak #lies #broken #pain #hurt #cheated #secrets #damaged

Amber K May 2015

Failure

I know I'm a failure.
My anxiety is always on the highest level.
I still don't have a job.
I'm depressed 95% of the time.
I quit college after a semester.
I'm always a nervous wreck.
I'm no good in social situations.
I cry too much.
And I'm no good to anyone anymore.

#depression #depressed #anxiety #true #failure #emotions #college #emotional #job #fail

Amber K May 2015

Depression is an understatement.

Depression is an understatement.
I want to scream.
I want to break down every wall surrounding me.
I need to run so far away,
but I know escaping with no consequences is impossible.
I just need to get away.
I need to live and go on adventures.
Instead I'm stuck.
I can't escape.
There is no escape.

#depression #life #depressed #adventure #scream #escape #runaway #trapped #live #stuck

Amber K May 2015

Breaking

I don't know how much longer I can take this.
I'm trying to stay strong.
If no one understands,
then how do I continue.
I can't keep fighting myself.
It's dangerous.
I'm closer and closer to picking up that blade...
just so I can feel something other than this.
I can't take this anxiety,
and this feeling that no one feels but me.
I don't know how much longer I can take this.

#broken #depression #pain #anxiety #misunderstood #hurt #painful #selfharm #breaking

Amber K May 2015

One more time...

One more time.
Let the pain slip away.
One more moment,
with the razor blade.
I can't take the pain on my own.
I can't take this now.
I'm falling.
I'm losing.
I can't do this.

#broken #pain #hurt #painful #selfharm

Amber K May 2015

Guilt

Like a monster,
devouring me.
Starting with my heart.
The pain increases.
I start to panic.
"You can't take it back."
I cry and cry,
hoping that'll help.
But it doesn't.
My tears flood my eyes,
I suddenly feel as if I'm drowning.
Can I please take it back.
Can I go back?
I just want my innocence back.
The innocence that was stolen from me.
The place where this all started.
The pain.
The torture.
The guilt that never even fades.

#depressing #broken #sad #pain #memories #hurt #guilt #innocence #guilty #hurtful

Amber K Apr 2015

Trapped.

I'm so angry,
I could scream.
I feel like a fool.
I'm so paranoid.
So lost.
So confused.
How do I escape this?
I can't get away from this.

#broken #fear #anger #sadness #scared #hurt #escape #emotion #trapped #betrayed