He wonders  what's wrong
but I cannot tell him
No dad, it’s not my friends, it’s that place
the temple where I feel like a disgrace
I thought I would rather die than go there
then your words make me feel so scared
No dad, it’s not my friends, it is you
making me do things I don’t want to do
You don’t even try to understand my shade
That is what makes me feel so afraid

He’s never warm
when working up the perfect thunderstorm
But when he’s nice
it melts away all of the painful ice
And don’t you see
I won't forget what he has done to me
When he strikes me
he does it with his luminous lightning
So when he’s kind
I try and remember all the painful times

But then I can't avoid insisting on pain
And then it’s my fault I’m hurting

Hello,
my name is Afraid
I’m kind of scared to tell you my age
my heights is so strange, so is my weight
I couldn't bear to show you my face
The trees were trembling on my birthday
And I cried so hard - I was afraid
My mother smiled, I looked to her face
She was the one who gave me my name
And years have passed by up to today
My ethnicity gets in my way
I’m afraid knowing that I’m not straight
My religion is fear and dismay
Not a believer, I don’t have faith
Can’t believe lies that these people say
My eyes are black, my gender is rage
But really, inside, I am afraid

**** me
it’s my only plea, get the job done
effectively but painlessly, death will be so fun
I try to cut myself
but of course I fail
the beautiful white lines fade so quickly
I look to the mirror and speak to myself
“I love you,” my heart whispers
“But I want to **** you
and I promised you I would”
Out of love I want to spare myself
from life
I tried to burn myself
but I couldn’t stand the heat
so I go through all the pills we have
but they’re all too big for me to swallow
I research poison recipes until
the suicide hotline shows up
I wonder if I should call
I don’t want help
I just want death
How shall I relieve my strife
and stop my own breath
All I ever want in life
is the gift of death

The wings of a hurricane
the cry of a beast
concerns of a teenager
present at a feast
salt in fresh wounds
twigs in my cape
soaring through states
this is my escape
you might infest
your precious being
with all the sickness
you’ve been seeing
You might forget
the origin of your shape
you shake off  reality
that is your escape
But the threads in my waistcoat
the apples in my crate
can not be forgotten
in this mental state
I spill the ideas
that society has taped
inside my thoughts
this is my escape