I feel like my mind

Is stuck on rewind.

I’m trapped in the past.

I’m lost in time.

I can’t find my way

in this labyrinth of regret.

I’m fixed in a haze.

I can’t take one more step.

The addiction is killing

My blood is spilling

The urge to cut

Is all that I’m feeling

My smile is sick

Maybe just one more nick

Maybe after I die

You’ll be less of a ****.

I’m better at hiding

These tears I’ve been crying

This skin I’ve been slicing

My soul that is dying.

I’ve gotta keep lying

Gotta push you back

That way you won’t know

There’s a rope around my neck.

I never feared the monsters under the bed.

What I really had to fear

Were the monsters in my head.

Every year

They told me to just

“Let them free.”

When the cold hard truth

Was that the monster

Was me.

I never feared the monsters under the bed.

What I really had to fear

Were the monsters in my head.

Slowly killing

Slicing my heart

Breaking my soul

Tearing me apart

And maybe someday

When I go crazy

I’ll slit my throat

You’ll miss me

Maybe.

I never feared the monsters under the bed.

What I really had to fear

Were the monsters in my head.

I am lost

I am numb

When I cut,

The pain…

It never comes

So I slice my skin

Watch the blood run down

My mutilated arm

I hear noises

But there is no sound

I feed the addiction

Then I go to sleep

I wake up with a jolt

I roll over and weep

I’m suddenly angry

I hate the whole world

Alone with my thoughts

Hate

Hate

Hate

Hate

I hate myself

But now I’m late

I’m skipping class

I don’t want to face

My teachers

For their eyes

Will flood with disappointment

I’m a failure

I know

I am a disappointment

I’m scared

But my fears

Are stupid

And irrational

The thought of death

I can’t even fathom

But the thought of life

It haunts me at night

What comes with tomorrow?

The light after the night

I scream in my head

My thoughts are so loud

My thoughts are so fast

I act

My feelings

Sorrow filled

Cutting again

My blood is spilled

The bipolar addiction

My feelings in a whirl

I can’t control

The monster

In this girl

I’m stuck in confusion

I’m out of my mind

I’ve lost track of time

I’m stuck on rewind

I am lost

I am numb

When I cut,

The pain…

It never comes.

The world.

It’s suffocating.

It’s crushing my lungs.

I can’t breathe

In this world

I’ve had enough.

It hurts.

No air.

Every breath has escaped.

I can’t live my life

In this world

That I hate.

I hate myself

I say that I’m fine

I want to die

Stop

Rewind

I’m nine

I’m fine

I’m happy

With friends

I love my life

I don’t want it to end

How did my life come to this?

I just want peace

I just want bliss

I’m scared

Still I dare

To say,

“It’s not fair!”

I think that people

Just wouldn’t care

If I weren’t there

Because I’ve opened up

And still they stare

Right through me

As if I was just

Thin air.