I feel ice cold and a bit cloudy.
Like mango juice and *****.

I'm not sure how to explain this.
When I was younger,
I thought that when you died,
You were reincarnated
Into things that were part of nature.
But not organisms.
Wind, bodies of water, and rocks.

And the special souls were saved for storms.
The powerful and the passionate.
Hurricanes and snowstorms.
Sometimes colliding.
And I could always tell if they were fighting
Because of hatred and anger,
Or reconnecting with love and longing.
Or if it was a little of both.

I know that I am magnificent, powerful,and special
But I would love to just be waves
Constantly returning to the coast of Maine.
You and I crashing over each other
Constantly become one.
Stretching out to touch civilization,
And pulling back to our own world.
Filled with fish and boats,
And maybe someone will give us a message in a bottle to deliver.

flawed to near insanity
but long as you could hold down a job then its alright
isn't that a wise policy she asked
i'm not so sure
watching the clowns strut their stuff
in the midnight sun
they are reckless to be certain but self aware to a fault
just makes it all the more bizarre
watch em go at it with each other over the simplest thing
its no way to live
you can vouch for the living as long as you haven't died
and this madness is just shy of being in a pine box
so darling lets get outa this crazy place
get away from the thinking
that you gotta be like everybody else
get away from the plastic hippie rat-race
roll down the easy highway
find us some sweet sunshine to breath in
find us a better life to be

they met in a crowded place
face after face
he saw her a while away but felt so close
he felt too hot in his jacket
she saw him a little closer, her feet wouldn't stop
even though they've been strained in tall shoes all night
she slurred her words to ask him something like
do I know you
his words meshed together that sounded something like
do you want to?
they had no intention of getting to know each other a little better,
just getting to know each other a little better
he eventually got out of his jacket and she didn't need to wear her high heels anymore
the next morning, she and her tall shoes were gone and he wonders
when will the next one night stand stay?...one night stand... stay one night?
but he always leaves the door open when he leaves too so he cant blame her

Opposites* attract, but we're one in the same.
Brown eyes meet green, saying words our mouths won't.
He nods like he understands and I almost ask him to explain it to me.
Almost, because I nod like I get it too. I don't though
It's clear to both of us how blurry all of this is.
It's easy to see how hard it is to understand.
It's nice to think how bad it could be.
Its odd how normal it feels.
Though it couldnt feel more right to be somewhere so wrong,
I love that I hate to love everything about us.

And I had to walk away
I was just hoping at least he noticed I didn't run

to my darling who feels she's not:
our separation is mere illusion.
truly, your pain strikes me as i write this;
your sensations of abandonment,
and the decisiveness they have caused,
bleed from my skin into the fibers of my clothes.
i am no longer clean.
i do not feel pure.

to my severed arm and shortened tendons:
destruction is merely another side of life.
out of disappearance comes all things-
without space, there would be nothing to contain us,
nothing to allow and enfold our beings' spirits,
and they would sputter and cease like my love's flame.
i am no longer yours.
i do not feel full.

to the farthest star that my eyes can see:
your light reaches me- i glimpse you!
in the perceived emptiness between us
there is no distance to be found;
around us exists the infinite potential for
further connection and deeper growth in closeness.
i am no longer alone.
i do not feel sorrow.

Blamed it
Irresistible gravity around
Blamed it
Sinking in the ground
Faster than the speed of light
Blamed it all
On a tunnel of hyperspace
Faster than the speed of light

Waiting for explanations
Hope and retributions
Waiting for you

A moment passes
Or is it a year?
Questions become mundane
A moment passes
Inimitable carrier
Waiting for explanations

Faster than the speed of light
Blamed it
On nothingness
And blamed
My existence
****** in with no escape
The tape stuck in my head
My resistance
Slowly being replaced
By despair instead

Buried in a minefield
Or a meadow of stars
A shackle or a shield
Inimitably reducing
Any conformity and its need
Creating its memories
Killing its creed

I'm dying slowly
Or living fast
Falling in love
Falling out
I fall in a different darkness
I chase a different sunbeam
Each moment

Buried in a minefield
Or a graveyard of affection
A repentance of a curse
And a wretched reflection
On an artificial iron lung
An everyday chore
In galaxies far-flung

I'm dying slowly
Everything is
Slowly
Even the sun will go cold
I'm dying slowly
Everything is
Regret

As I trudge through this
mashed potato snow. I feel
that it needs more salt.