The little girl inside of me was feeling so small. She was aching badly, her heart was going to burst out and so was mine.
She ached for both of us, and I, I ached for her. I ached for my skin, for My pores and the discolorations on my face, I ached for my hair, ached for my split ends damaged by time and negligence, I ached for my nails, too big too hard too yellow too something, I ached for my fat, ached for my stretch marks I ached for my love handles, muffin top, little pouch on my not so flat stomach or any extra something that might not always be considered nice , I ached for my fingers, I ached for my thighs, I ached for my teeth, I ached for my nose, I ached for my forehead and my hairline that was too uneven too messy too something. I ached so badly for the barely audible voice of the little girl inside of me when she was trying to cheer me up this morning, whispering that I can do it, that I should do it I should care for myself. I should take a bath put a face mask on brush my hair and be gentle!! “You’re doing this because you love yourself, you want to take care of it” she’d whisper. I ache for her and how she’s slowly getting smaller now, soon she’ll fade and I’ll be left with no one to help me wake up in the morning. I’ll ache for my heart, who’s had more than enough pain but still receives more punches, my heart will ache for itself it will ache for the both of us as it sees me wilting away as I mourn the little girl that was once the voice of hope in me. I ache for my aching and for the fact that I don’t know how long I can fight before I fade away too.