I look to you
And suddenly flowers grow in strange places—
Between alley ways, on top of jukeboxes, in my heart.
I could never forget the fragrance of your youth,
Seemingly arrogant without ever meaning to,
You spring out of confidence I would not blame you for having.

And you bloom so beautifully,
All the vines grow quickly just to be where you are,
And the sun comes out at dawn just to see you.

i am really sad
i feel disconnected from everything
i feel disconnected from everyone
i feel no inspiration to go on
i feel no delight in these things i once loved
i feel like an empty shell
i feel homeless
i feel i have no place safe to rest my head
i feel so far away from reality
i feel dead in my bed

i feel really sad

needless to say, you were an anomaly to me
nights and nights i scrutinized the case of your being
you were the stuff of high school dreams, wishes made in lonely desperation
and suddenly here you were, so close i could see you

i had thought i cracked the code and you were no longer a mystery
you had become a book i read a million times over
but no matter how many words you wrote down just for me
i could never comprehend the meaning between the lines of who you were

for days and days i longed to listen to what went on in your mind
but it turns out you had always been the one listening to what went on in mine

please do not look at me
so the butterflies in my stomach stop fluttering so achingly
please do not laugh with me
so your boyish grin does not find its way to my twilight dreams
please do not speak to me
so your winsome words are not all i hear in the summer daze
please do not care for me
so i do not believe you'll be there when i need someone in the dark of night
but instead,
please walk away from me
so i will get used to how it feels when you leave
please ignore me
so i forget the beautiful mind of yours that enthrals me
please be truthful to me, show me you don't care
so i know i am of no significance among the people in your life
please, break my heart already
so i have a reason to believe you will never be mine

"Every scar has a story."

Mine's simple.

Suicide.
Harsh words.
Hate.
Love.

Too much things in life.

But I realized that these scars changed who I am.
How I saw myself.

I still have these scars in my arm.
I have scars in my heart that are too deep to forget.
People say time would heal the scars,
but the only thing time can heal is itself.

The bleeding stopped.
But the scar never closed.
I'm scared it would get infected.
I'm scared other people would see it and run away.

Sometimes, I just stare at it.
Questioning what was my intention.
The what ifs.
What if I died?
Would anyone care?
What if it healed?
Would I be the same as everyone else? Blemish free?

I realized that being the same is boring.
A scar represents what you went through.
A scar shows that you're strong.
Never forget the scar.

Things to be aware of when you date a overthinker :

One. They will always find the hard way around simple things. Two. They will always be worried about little things. Three. They have what if's for everything. Four. Leaving something behind is like the end of the world. Five. They worry about everything. Six. They'll try to fix what's wrong. Seven. They realize they can't fix it so they just forget it. Eight. But they can't forget it so they have to come back to it. Nine. This happens until they die. Ten. They won't let it go until it's fixed. Eleven. They say sorry a lot. Twelve. They can't sleep. Thirteen. Because they always have something to worry about. Fourteen. They don't like making big decisions. Fifteen. They regret almost everything instantaneously. Sixteen. Existential crises are everything. Seventeen. They will never forget an embarrassing moment. Eighteen. If you don't reply to them quickly, they'll think you're dead. Nineteen. They think of death all the time. Twenty. They plan out how they'll **** themselves if they ever did. Twenty one. Not just themselves, but other people too. Twenty two. They want to burn the planet if they get one thing wrong. Twenty three. They jump to conclusions.

I am the ocean-
from an objective glance
one might say
I am predictable
my tides
my moods
are just a reaction
caused by
my moon of emotion

I inch closer to you
then pull away
the moon is my master
and I am but a puppet
to her

wade in my shallow waters
before venturing further

for your own safety
study me first
before exploring my depth

I have swallowed innocent people
whole
when they did not
know what to expect
their bodies will always rise
but I have drowned their souls
in my darkness

not something I am proud of
but they
should have known
what they were getting into

inside me there lives
demons disguised as sharks
lurking
until you show your
vulnerability
once they smell it
they will hunt you down
and abuse you
for their own advantage

but when you get to know
my secrets
my waters
my soul
I promise there is
beauty
in the underwater foliage
I can show you sights
you have never seen
as long
as you remember
when to pull up for air

just bring a life vest
and don't say
I never warned you
not
to swim too deep