I want to feel
Like a mushroom sprouting from the dirt

New
And
Fresh
And embraced by the sun

I want to be

Delicate
And
Beautiful
And dangerous if you treat me wrong

I want to be surrounded by the smell of the mist and the moss

Completely engrossed in my own growth

I wake up
With memories
That aren’t mine
Filling my head

I sit up
With stolen images
Flashing in my mind

I walk to the sink
With forgotten feelings
Spilling from my eyes

I look in the mirror
And recognize
Hundreds of faces
In my collection of lives

One day
This face will be old
These memories will be stolen
And my feelings will reset

And I’ll try again

‘I just need time’
Is a thing I say pretty often
But the thing is
I approach everything with caution

I’m not spontaneous
I can’t just jump into new things
I know it’s weird
But I need to know what each day brings

Every new thing
is a mountain for me climb
So I just need to plan ahead
You see, I just need time

The frozen ground, rough under my bare feet
Grass cold and wet
The morning dew carefully balanced on each blade
Glinting in the cold morning light
Rays of sun hits my bare back
As scars and bruises dance across my skin

In the early hours of dawn I stand
Basking in the first daylight
I am chilled to the bone
And it is then that I finally understand, what it means to be alone

Silence carries through the forest
No hint of the life it once held
With every breath I take
I feel my lungs fill with ice cold water

I feel weightless
Like I’m hovering just above the ocean floor
Lightning is filling my head
And I keep my eyes closed
As I wait for the booming thunder to hit

I want you to stand by my side
As my world burns

I want you to stand by my side
As I do my best to crawl out of the ashes

I want you to stand by my side
Even if I **** up and make a mess

Because the thing is
I don’t want you to save me

I want you to stand by my side
As I save myself

The emotions i hid
just beneath the surface
a sickness most cruel
that made me so nervous

i saw the emotions
in all its twisted glory
and i truly thought
that those were the masters of my story

It wasn’t that i disliked
the way that i look
it was just my own appearance
that I for the emotions mistook

you see, i thought my face was wrong
my whole body too
but thats only because
all the emotions shone through

i never hated myself
but my features got twisted
by the emotions behind
that made me wish i never existed

look at the stars
in the deep night sky
and prepare yourself
for a midnight fly

as your feet lift from the ground
and you soar high above the trees
you look out over the forest
and feel yourself freeze

its the most beautiful sight
you ever did see
and you think to yourself
you could be free

if you could flee
you would be able to grow
oh, if you could flee
where would you go

would you fly so high
that no one could reach you
or would you learn to walk better
and only fly when you had to

growth is important
for you and for me
we have to start growing
to truly be free

fleeing doesn’t change a thing
it doesn’t change your life
so don’t just run away
from your lifes strife

In the clearing you find
That dawn has arrived
And in the silence you know
You have survived

You sit down and sigh
As the morning sun rises
The road has been long
And full of surprises

You’d like to go home
there’s still a long way
This isn’t the end
You’ve lived to see another day

The trees seem to hum
And the morning dew glitter
You can’t believe you wanted to be done
can’t believe you used to be so bitter

It’s time to get up now
Time to start walking
There’s a long way home
And no time for stopping

Things will get better
At the end of this road
You will find a place to rest
A place to unload

He loved you, more than he had ever loved us. but his devotion grew cold and bitter until it was nothing but the freezing rain of indifference. we wanted to help, and we screamed at him to let us.

But alas, he thought you not worth it, he thought you cruel. but you were made in his image, his charm and with his curiosity. you see, that was how you were born. formed out of curiosity and emotion.

As good as any siblings, we knew you better than our father did. we knew that you were not cruel, but curious.

Curious about the world and curious about yourselves. and how could you not be? he had given you so many wondrous things and all you wanted to do was explore. you were born with wanderlust in your feet and kindness in your souls.

We wanted to help, and we did our very best. father was furious, we had disobeyed after all. And when we fell from the skies, crashing and burning into the earth, we screamed that this was all for you.

We prayed for forgivness and hoped we were right. hoped we could help. because we love you, more than he had ever loved us.

In the dead of night
tragedy strikes
you now have to tread lightly
as if walking on spikes

you walk the path lined by trees
it is long and winding
in the moon lit breeze

let them think what they want
it won’t matter now
theres nothing to lose
when you’ve let everyone down

you come to a stop
by the big old oak
the words are sharp
and you let them soak

soak in the water
in the lake that you love
and you come to the realization
that this was your last crop

you reap what you sow
as they used to say
and now you know
the price you will pay

a tragedy it is
and i don’t think you can lie
as you walk into the clearing
where, surely, you will die