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 Aug 2018 Stelios Pap
Sam Lylin
They ask me who I want to be
I ask them what is wrong with me?
They say to be like others are
You can't become a faulty star
There's no way that you'll get that far
Be a doctor, be a nurse
Be a dentist, drive a hearse
A poet? please, you can't do worse
You can't make money just with verse

They ask me how I sympathize
With tear-stained faces, bloodshot eyes
Those who struggle with goodbyes
And quiet ones who analyze
Or far too much, apologize
They ask me how I am so wise

I say that I just talk to them
Find the lovely, hidden gem
But first, I say, I don't condemn
You are you and I am me
That is all we have to be
If we strive to be much more
We fight our own internal war
Don't be something for another's sake
Learn to dream when you're awake
Remember you're your own snowflake

They ask me
What makes you happy?
I answer short of patience
And just a little snappy

I say that sometimes nothing can
Like leaping out of fire
Just to land in the pan
I feel just as permanent
As lines in the sand
Hurting on the inside
I just don't understand

And other times I feel fine
As if the sun remembered
How to shine
It's like depression just forgot
How to poison every thought
Or pull my fragile heartstrings taut
And shatter every dream I sought

But I don't say this all out loud
In front of one big jeering crowd
Or with friends or all alone
Or even when I'm safe at home
I look into their eyes and say
Don't worry, friend, I'll be okay
 Jun 2018 Stelios Pap
Kataleya
Love her like
She's the raging sea,
Unrestrained and dark and deep.
And you crave her touch
Through aching pores
As you slowly drown in sleep.

Love her like
She's the tender storm,
A lovely shade of grey.
Like with every whiff
Of breath she takes,
She's taking yours away.

Love her like
She's the silent clouds
With calmness floating by.
Like you'd want to make
Sweet love to her
Under the moon's apocalyptic eye.

Love her like
She's the blazing fire,
And you lust the candied pain.
Like she's the disease
That swallowed you whole
And you'd like to die again.

When her gentle touch
Makes your chest explode,
And your addiction is your girl.
Promise you'll love her
Through hell and back,
Or don't you dare love her at all.
"She was an
unusual dresser.
Every night,
she wore bruises
on her heart,
love on her lips,
pain in her eyes,
and ink on her fingers.
They called her poetry."
 Feb 2018 Stelios Pap
Who
I got my first tattoo
It's small and on my foot
It's sloppy like my life
And doesn't look that good

But it's not actually my first tattoo
That in fact was you
Not something anyone could see
Painted in me when you knew me
But I had it removed years ago. It was expensive. But worth it.
Suzanne takes you down to her place near the river
You can hear the boats go by
You can spend the night beside her
And you know that she's half crazy
But that's why you want to be there
And she feeds you tea and oranges
That come all the way from China
And just when you mean to tell her
That you have no love to give her
Then she gets you on her wavelength
And she lets the river answer
That you've always been her lover
And you want to travel with her
And you want to travel blind
And you know that she will trust you
For you've touched her perfect body with your mind.
And Jesus was a sailor
When he walked upon the water
And he spent a long time watching
From his lonely wooden tower
And when he knew for certain
Only drowning men could see him
He said "All men will be sailors then
Until the sea shall free them"
But he himself was broken
Long before the sky would open
Forsaken, almost human
He sank beneath your wisdom like a stone
And you want to travel with him
And you want to travel blind
And you think maybe you'll trust him
For he's touched your perfect body with his mind.
Now Suzanne takes your hand
And she leads you to the river
She is wearing rags and feathers
From Salvation Army counters
And the sun pours down like honey
On our lady of the harbour
And she shows you where to look
Among the garbage and the flowers
There are heroes in the seaweed
There are children in the morning
They are leaning out for love
And they will lean that way forever
While Suzanne holds the mirror
And you want to travel with her
And you want to travel blind
And you know that you can trust her
For she's touched your perfect body with her mind.
I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm,
your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm,
yes, many loved before us, I know that we are not new,
in city and in forest they smiled like me and you,
but now it's come to distances and both of us must try,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.
I'm not looking for another as I wander in my time,
walk me to the corner, our steps will always rhyme
you know my love goes with you as your love stays with me,
it's just the way it changes, like the shoreline and the sea,

but let's not talk of love or chains and things we can't
untie,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.
I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm,
your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm,
yes many loved before us, I know that we are not new,
in city and in forest they smiled like me and you,
but let's not talk of love or chains and things we can't
untie,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.
 Jan 2018 Stelios Pap
olive
i told you i loved you
in a violet sea
under a setting sky

a magnificent orange
kissed your cheeks
before i could do it myself

we were intertwined
and the youthful night
lied before us

covered in our own colors
our love was even more handsome
and stirred between us

we were blind to the others
and halfway drowned in burnt sienna
when the sun had gone

we filled the empty night
painting the earth
with the color of our love
I want to kiss
every inch of your lips,
feeling the words your tongue has bred,
if you bit me,
I would still kiss thee
long after my lips had bled,
I'd let blood trickle down
and spatter the ground
so I could keep the flowers fed;
for roses naturally bloom white,
it is only love's bite
that offers them shades of red.
 Jan 2018 Stelios Pap
Alec
Popping pills
Tripping over window sills.
Climbing slick walls
Squeezing through narrow halls.

Tumbling and turning
Who’s singing?
Boa constrictor wrapping around my ribs
What’s truth and what’s fib?

Swirls and twirls cloud my vision
Like staring straight into the sun
Stretching my hands out reaching for something
The bells begin to ring and ding.

6 fingers 3 arms
Should i be alarmed?
Am i being embraced?
Fingers dance and trace.

My mind is a track, my heart in a race.
My blood is blue, my heart is gold.
Was it their heart i stole or my life i sold?

I lose the love,
The bad things begin to consume me
...
PILLS PILLS PILLS!!!!
Breathe in and out, it’s such a thrill.

Happy HaPpY HAPPY
Even to the trees, i am overtly sappy.
Jump! Sing! Dance!
Caught up in this maddening trance.

Am i alone inside the room?
Or is the room alone outside of me?
Are these human hands grabbing at  me?
Or are they demons that trace my heart unseen?

Is this an enchanting seductress?
Or is this the “big test”?
Drowsiness,
Sanity becoming less and less...

Fingernails raking down
My mind isn’t even in town.
Do the pills control my mind,
Or do you?

Are you my Queen?
Am i a King to you?
Or just a another jester for when you’re in the mood.
Do I mean anything?

You’re the Queen of too many hearts,
The minute you look at us it starts.
Off with our heads!
Sanity and common sense are dead.

We run around each other like rabbits,
Can’t keep calm! Can’t even sit!
Constantly moving, following you.
You cage me like an animal in a zoo.
I’m stuck on a leash,
Forced to follow you.

Grasping at straws,
Flowers begin to talk.
Need more meds!!
Dragons fly around my bed?!
Fires start in my head.

Where did i put them?!
My gems!!
They make me happy!!
I need them to be me!

WHERE ARE MY PILLS?!?!
Careful little rabbit or i might ****.
HAHAHAHA
Sickly smiles and terrifying wiles,
I must’ve gone mad!!
Should I be sad or glad?

HAPPY UN-BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!
WILL YOU LEAVE ME TOO??!!
Tea time, TeA TiMe!
The madness is only mine!!!

Won’t give it up,
Drink from your poisoned cup!
Follow closely behind.
Or the darkness will catch you in a bind.

I may be the Mad Hatter in this zoo,
But i was once an Alice too.
Don’t trust any Queen of Hearts,
For Her wits will drive you mad, unable to outsmart.
I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.

I hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,

and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.
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