my life is a puzzle
and the missing piece is


i want to run
as far as my legs will take me
away from people
away from places
I'll keep spinning circles
into infinity
i'll spread my wings and fly
as i draw cloud with the wind
to a world far away
to a place so peaceful
to a paradise so cherry
that it becomes unreal


a state of mine
a perfect philosophy
to which i'll never arrive.

as the dense look in your eyes embraced me
your lips grip onto mine
clutching me tight
cloaking me from all pain.


i am a solid woman
but to you i am vulnerable
you contain the power to break me
melt me to pieces.


your dark eyebrows protect me
as the essence of you comes closer
you fix me with your glance
seasoning me with a smile.


lifting me up
                               up
                                            and away.

How could I,
Let myself be oblivious,
Miss all the red flags,
Ignore the warnings the universe was sending me.


I got cut.
A million shreds of pain stuck into me.
The way he looks at me glues to my hair.
His words became needles thread through my skin.
His touch on my body became tattoos of pressure.
Seeing him alive became my biggest fear.


I want to peel off my skin,
Start over again.
Untouched,
Unharmed,
Un-youed.
So I bought a new bra,
And rebooted a brand new me.


But no matter how new I am,
No matter how many bras I buy,
I keep falling back.
You've got me leashed.
Trapping me,
Until I can't breathe.
I can't breathe.

I

can't

breathe.

After the sunset I hide
Nothing can hurt me there
No tears to be shed
No flesh to be torn


The castle shields me from the war
Prevents me from hurting
Even if just for a little while


The castle is what I love most
Kissing the dark of the sky
Dancing in the moonlight
Even if just for a little while


Making me look up from my scars
Getting me to dwell on the little piece of life left in me
In the castle, I am alive, I am home
Even if just for a little while


When the sun goes up
I have to return
To the hell I was born in
Getting beaten to filaments


All the hate flows back in me
Insulating me
Dragging me down deeper and deeper
Burning me to ash


In the dark heat I long
To the cherry nights under the stars
And in the dark paradise I prance
Under the bright glazing sun