Once Again
I am left here waiting
Wondering
If you will come home
Feeling helpless
Thinking she's touching you
Feeling tears swell in my eyes
I want you with me
But each moment you're with me
I feel your ultimate wrath
I want to escape
But each time I try
Your sweet nothings hush me to
My brass cage
I can't do this
I won't do this
I will leave you
I won't get hurt again

Once again I’m here
stuck at the crossroads
dreaming of chasing
the dreams that are forever
Fleeting
bounded by the comfort of the past  
where unhappiness reigned free

With path should I choose
It so hard to be free
I just want to take a path
That lets me be me

I want to love
Feel my heart skip ten beats
Feel tingles go down my spine

I want to love
Feel at peace with myself
Feel warmth and joy

I want to love
Feel happiness kiss my face
Feel passionate about my tasks

I want to love
Not fall in the grasp of meaningless ***
Not hugged by pain and sadness

I want to love
Not be shackled by mundane  events
Not be saddened by the qualms of depression

I want to love
Not be stricken with anxiety
Not be sickened by fear

I want to love
I want to be free

Sometimes I feel so small
Walking around the different forms
Of humanity
I just want to be noticed
I want to be recognized.
I want to cared about.
I don’t want to be this dot
In the land of sentences.
I want what I do appreciated
I want people to give me gratitude
I don’t want to feel this small

Anxiety  sneaks up
Like a snake in the greenlands of Africa
It's poisonous fangs elongated ready to
strike

Anxiety knocks on the door
Hoping that we would answer
His creepy smile
Hoping that we'd befriend him
And when we do
chokes us to unconiousness  

Anxiety please leave me be
I can't stop thinking
I can't breathe

I began not to feel
That is why I stopped writing
I began to not care
I forgot what love was
I forgot what it meant to be depressed
I just felt a pit of nothing
Is this what it truly means to live.
To feel nothing.

I've never felt at home
Anywhere
I always felt ostracized
Unwilling to conform
To the lifestyle
Society provided me

I just want to find
That place
Where I am free.
Where I don't have to change myself
To fit in
I just want to find
Home