The words I speak aren't the words I mean Only making whats on the inside sound like a dream The actions I pursue are nothing else but a blessing and a curse I make it seem like its all fun and games until it ends up getting worse I struggle to show people the real me So I separate myself and I like an apostrophe I take leaps without the cord attached but I plunge futher and further to my death With the way I act and the life I lead I feel like I might breathe my last breath Don't mind the ******* you see on a day to day basis who keeps who he is lurking in the shadows But try to look beyond that wall to see the determined young man who wants nothing more but to help those who continue to suffer and carry all those logos Why is it that no one can look past the act and for once take me seriously when I ask for the chance Because some day I'll just wanna sing like David sang and dance like David danced I hide who I am because no one can comprehend whether I'm being delusional or the person they see in the end I act ******, but only to see a smile on the face of someone who couldn't take it anymore, for someone who couldn't turn to any other friend I don't regret my actions but I either pity and own them or believe that this is something I want to continue But now I realize I must make some changes to my schedule and create a new agenda so I can leave my venue Don't get me wrong I still wanna have fun with all the fun and games but right now I'm just tired of feeling ashamed Because each time it drives me further and further to becoming a young man who's lost the meaning of his name If it were so easy I would show the person living on the inside and the person I aspire to be I pray to God that I don't lose who I am because that's the one thing I hold dear and closest to me I'd rather let out the person hiding on the inside trying to make who he really is known, but thats only if I could Because I can't stay quiet, I want people to know that I'm tired of being Misunderstood
I was always considered to be an outcast in this world because I wasn't so instrumented My problems used to be minor until they became major and made my mind feel so demented It was just a matter of time until my soul became diminished And all my Beethoven dreams turned flat and were finished I used to hang with the wood winds while I got beat up by the percussion I've never had a melody come by perfectly without any interruptions I used to spend my days down in the dumps feelin the blues With every rhythm that passed by I never got inspired never found my muse I had so many notes I couldn't get out because my voice always went unheard Each day was like the other, it was just a matter of time before they all became slurred As hard as I tried I couldn't relieve All the sharps that took my breath away made me unable to breve I always tried to stay within the bar lines but I was always a low key I was always lost and confused I was like the bars with no melody My life was like the flight of the bumblebee perilous and long And I wasn't brassy I was frail not strong But today my rift is on point no more notes have to be smuggled Now that you know these were my long forgotten Musical Struggles
Every time something goes wrong I know I have You to count on. This is more than beautiful words This more than a beautiful song This is more than just a day at church More than speaking in tongues. This is so much more than any act of Prophesy I hope you can see That.
This more than life. This is more than logic. This is more than I can ever hope to Articulate or explain For how can I express Your glory When my lips are not holy enough And my mind not pure enough To speak or know Your name?
How can I expect to be Expect to do all that You have called me to? How can I expect to be perfect like You? How can I? You have made everything anew But once I get in the way of things Everything goes askew.
Though I struggle and try And most days simply succumb How is it possible that You can Save me from myself over and over again? I never understood what a wretched man That I am Until I tried to live for You truly.
You knew me from before I was in my mother's **** And you know exactly what day I will be Laid to rest in a tomb. Yet I still find it hard to trust You When You take away certain people or things Or when You instruct me. I can't see past the pain or my desire I can't see past my inherent need for control For success Yet What is success without You? What is love without You? What is happiness without You? What am I without You?
Sometimes I feel like abandoning You But how can I after all You took me Through? How can I? Two things am I sure of Your love And that I will die. Yet why can't I allow myself to Accept the love You give? I just don't deserve it But I need it.
You are the breath I breathe How I stand when my knees Buckle. You are sunlight You are bright You are dazzling You are my life.
Though I may run from that simple truth I'll always find my way back to You.
What a paradox is this An imperfect miss With a perfect God Called but uncalled to Him Afraid to let a love She craves and needs in.
You're so dreaaaamy baby. Like really dreamy I wish you could See me though. I don't think you can in this huge crowd But one day that smile on your face Will be allllll mine. You heard?
You're so dreaaaamy baby. You still don't notice me And it's so funny because you're all I see, Think or speak about. I saw you with your friends Talking and walking. You voice like silk And words like spoiled milk But you're so **** dreaaaamy baby.
You're so dreaaaamy baby. I figured it out You like girls with curly hair Light skin Voices like the ocean and And skin so smooth You wonder if it's a potion. That's why you don't notice me baby. I guess zigzag coils are out of style And dark skin isn't cutting it for you My voice is rusty and soft, it doesn't flow loudly and smoothly like the sea And my skin; it's bumpy. But don't we all deal with acne?
You're so dreaaaamy baby And I want to be your dream girl. So I straighten my hair and curl it in loose waves, I stay out of the sun even on beach days I talk louder, with eloquence and confidence And I do everything possible for clear skin. And you do notice me this time. You fall headfirst in love Yet I can't get out of my mind when you asked If I was new at school When I've been there, around you for 3 years I can only chuckle and say "sort of. But not really." And that's the real truth. I sit with you and you friends for months At lunch like I had been dying to for years. You don't ask me many questions about myself Other than "Are going to here or there." You complement my processed hair You compliment my silky skin You compliment my personality 2.0 And it doesn't feel right Being this But I've lost who I was a long time ago And it sorta feels like I'm lacking soul.
You were my dream baby. But why do I feel like ****?
IT WAS THEN She realized it then When her heart hopped Into her mouth screaming Out ludicrous love songs And her stomach started To spin around like a cyclone And she had this overwhelming urge to ***** and run But he was her home So she collapsed into his arms And relished the feeling of just him being There.
IT WAS THEN She realized that she had Fallen hopelessly in love And she remembered that feeling Seven months later When she craved it so bad That she fell to the floor and Broke like glass Bits and pieces of herself Shattering Everywhere and she had Lost herself Truly that time Feeling like she was grasping at thin air Or clouds Trying to get a grip To stop the falling But every firm thing Slipping through her grasp.
IT WAS THEN She crashed down on the grasslands Numb. Her back ached from landing on the Earth with such force And her ears rang. The broken bits had Come back together Forcefully, and it hurt to breathe Because she was used to some places Being empty So it felt awkward now that they were full. She lay there For a while, Looking up the sky Watching him lead another girl up Abysmally high Waltzing on clouds Her laughter innocent and sweet.
IT WAS THEN She felt the sharp ache in her head. She knew now. All ludic childishness A faint memory She was back to normal now Reality. She wondered what love was Blindness or foolishness. She couldn't decide. She got up And walked away Into the sunrise.
I was that kid that could die in an instant Before I wore the life vest and my heart was no longer love resistant I was slowly drifting away while the clock was ticking I was just lost in the time in a rolex dream because my mind was sickened I was the kid that should've died rather than stay alive After all my hopes and dreams were erased like a hard drive I was the kid sitting hopeless in a black and white world They told me "It was you" "You're my friend" lies I've heard from 2 girls But today I am a confident young Bahamian man I let my will burn and my desire grow as much as I can I am the one who will help to change the world for the better I don't follow know one but God *** i'm gonna be a trendsetter I used to do nothing like Fetty Wap's left eye But that was when I thought it was time to say goodbye I am that strong individual working through God like Peter I am the one who would do anything for those I love I would run my tank over the meter My life was the epitome of depression and disappointment and I didn't know why But when the times get tough you just have to ask God Who Am I?
Dear friend, I wish you could tell me how am I supposed to speak when I know my words will never reach your ears again, how am I supposed to breathe when I know that I no longer share the air with you, how am I supposed to listen to anything when I know my ears will never hear your voice again?
Dear fried, tell me how am I supposed to wake up every morning and see the daylight when I know my eyes will never meet yours again?
How am I supposed to touch anything when I know that my hands will never again touch your skin? and tell me, how am I supposed to feel warm when your arms will never again be around my body?
Dear friend, please tell me how am I supposed to let other lips kiss my forehead?
How am I supposed to smell the tulips again Without remembering how you used to say that I am like a tulip —beautiful in my simplicity?
Dear friend, please tell me How could you go When you promised you would never ever Leave me?