Trust.
Something I've been scared of with men thanks to you,
But now I have a new best friend who helps me through.
Love.
Something I thought we had,
Maybe platonic,
But it still ended so sad.
Thoughts.
They'll never stop,
I assumed I'd just move on,
But it's so hard to believe you are really gone.
Life.
Life goes on with every breath,
Every move,
With or without you.
Time.
They say time heals all wounds,
And a wound is what you are,
Healing beneath my skin,
While I search the world I live in.
Search*.
Searching it what I'm doing,
Finding a new me,
A me I *trust and love,
A me where I can think and live freely.
A me where in time I know I'll find it.

I don't know how to control my stress anymore
day to day I let things get to me that I shouldn't

I feel as if I'm hopeless
and all this stress is getting to me

And it won't be long until I lose hope
and let all of this stress break me

I see the greedy man
whose only son comes
from a curious wish
for money who he already has.

I hear the believing man’s speech:
if there’s nothing in mind,
we will be safe
behind the golden walls.

I touch the cruel man
whose young face
darkens our sky.

I recognize this ****** man
when I realize this mirror,
reflecting what we must remember.

As the curtains close

Tears you could not hold back begin to flow

No use of setting light to a room

When the darkness comes from inside of you

Look at that rose

Look as the petals slowly fade

Will you stay hidden from yourself?

Is there nothing else to take?

Dedicate your heart and soul to those who would do the same

The only beauty you live without is because of the beast you've locked within.

© July 2002 John L. Stevens

My heart was so heavy
With sadness and sorrow.
The day was so dark
I could not see tomorrow.
Hope seemed so dim
Through the tears that I cried.
I could not see You Lord
The day that s(he) died.

I remembered Your promise
To be by my side.
For always You’re with me
In You I abide.
In the midst of the darkness
Your hand touched my soul.
You drew me so close
And made me whole.

There are times that I cry
Alone with just me.
When the silence comes crashing
Like a storm-troubled sea.
There are times that I laugh now
When I remember the years.
That we shared together
Through the good times and tears.

The peace oh Lord
The memories You bring.
Fills my life with hope
Make my heart strings sing.
Draw me close to Your side
And lead me gently on.
Give me hope for tomorrow
Till the dark turns to dawn.
———
Open my heart Lord
Let out the sorrow.
Pour in your spirit
And hope for tomorrow.
I need Your touch Lord
On my heart this hour.
Fill me with Your love
With Your healing power.

Feel my heartache once a day.
Let the nicotine temporarily heal my broken heart.
Inhale away each bit to only light another.
You never realize how real pain is.
Pain is real when you lose your control.
You pull off mask and show the world  
what nicotine could never heal.
It could never be fully healed ever again.
Only leave a mark that will never let you forget.