when you finally
hit rock bottom
you won't see me
when you look up
one more chance
one more hope
another play as your savior

you won't see me
because i was the only one
who tried to prevent
your fall

all of those lonely times where i crept down to the couch to sleep,
though you were lying in bed next to me
yet you weren't actually there
and i couldn't sleep
next to a body that no longer wanted me

my skin is paper thin*

he smiled and said,
"well i would love to set it alight, watch you burn, watch you fight"

the best part starts
when i left you that note
not trying to push on any blame
not trying to say that you never meant anything
but i began to fall apart
and looking into the mirror began to do me no good
the longer i was with you,
the more i lost myself
and it wasn't your fault
that i became too consumed with you
and again, it wasn't your fault
that i lost myself within you
if you can love someone too much
then i loved you too much
maybe there wasn't any "healthy" way to love you
so i have to love you now from afar
for my sake and yours
but mostly for mine
because i miss myself
and all of the pieces i lost trying to love you too much
i couldn't keep dying
just trying to even hold your hand

so the best part starts
when i left you that note
and i went down to the river, alone
for hours, just by myself
finding myself
burying you
and it was lonely, hell it was
but i loved too hard
now i'll do it from afar

we didn't have a honeymoon phase
you did
i didn't

if you can't stand up for me
then you don't deserve to stand next to me

you didn't fall in love with me
you fell in love with me because i happened to be the only one there