hap*
/hap/

noun
1. luck; fortune

verb
1. come about by chance

And it hit me,
by happenstance,
that perhaps,
per-chance
I'd been
wrong.

Wrong in believing
a happiness
was owed
to people
and would
flow to me
not by happenstance
but by choice.

By choice
and by choosing
the right path.
But the path
of choice
and of choosing
the one
that is right
is a very wrong
and anxious
path
indeed.

And indeed
I am
the anxious type
from years
of fears
that by
trusting choice
over happenstance
I'd choose
wrong.

But I didn't
choose wrong.
Nor did I
choose right.
I chose
not to choose
at all.

I'm also
the sad type.
And now
I worry
that by
definition of
hap
and thus
of happiness
I'm not sad
by happenstance
but of
choice.

I feel the golden cage within my heart -
Has set its butterflies loose
My mind has waved the flag
And my heart called it a truce

With every word you utter
My pulse starts raging on
Your voice comes to sooth me
As hidden kisses rise upon -

Skin of lips and hushed whispers
And I keep wanting more -
Of those numbing, love blisters -
Adorned across my collarbone

Of what do I feel, you ask?
Light-headed and a drowsy sight
Like the Earth spinning five beats faster
Twirling me into your arms ever so tight

She comes to sit with me at dawn
her hand is warm, but
time is cold
just born it seems and now I'm older
time gets colder
she comes to sit with me at dawn.

I'm lost, the road in front split in two
So little time, with so much to do
The woods around me, is so dark
Each thorn I touch, leaves its mark
I grow tired, with each step I take
"Next time", I think, "my mind will break"
Every day, strangely, I survive
Each accident and problem, leaving me alive
How much longer, will it take?
How many sacrifices, will I have to make?

You're given one key
Two doors happy or sadness
It's only your choice

I look for you in everyone.
Because I don't want to get hurt anymore.
Yes, I look for you in everyone.
So no one else can do, what you did to me.
If someday I run into you, don't expect me to say sorry for speaking up.
Don't expect a hug, because you don't deserve feeling my warmth.
Don't expect me to listen to you, when you try to tell me, that you did nothing.
I don't want you to even admit you did anything, because I know what happened.
I don't need anything from you, leave me alone.
Please, don't look for me, don't knock on my door.
Please, don't reach out.
The only thing you need to know is that I'm doing fine without you.
The only thing you need to know is that you did not keep me down.
The only thing you will find, is a different girl.
A girl who doesn't let people do what you did.
You have taken enough from me.
No, I don't forgive you.

I look for you in the twilight glow
When the sun dips over the rim,
When it’s night time here and it’s daytime there
And I think of you there with him.
Though you said, ‘It’s just for a holiday,
And I promise that I’ll be good,’
Well I’m sure you were, as he stroked your hair
In the shade of the underwood.

Whenever the twilight’s coming on
And the Moon moves up in the sky,
I sit and dream in a cold moonbeam
And mull over the question, ‘Why?’
You said that you had two itchy feet
In a sense, they wanted to roam,
And though you were trying to be discreet
I knew you were leaving home.

So now I sit, and cry in the dark
Of the twilight’s utter gloom,
And think of you in a pleasure park
Where you flew on your witches broom.
I know you couldn’t be on your own
I can see the dark shape of him,
He’s there when you ought to be alone
As you taste of the fruits of sin.

The sun peers over the morning rim
As I bid goodbye to the night,
And see where I shattered the mirror in
That I look like a sleepless fright.
The silence shrieks with a telephone ring,
As I answer it, you say:
‘I’m looking forward to coming home,’
And, ‘Thanks for the holiday!’

David Lewis Paget

I am utterly, entirely yours,
For only you to destroy.

It was many and many a year ago,
  In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
  By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
  Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
  In this kingdom by the sea:
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
  I and my ANNABEL LEE;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
  Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
  In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
  My beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
  And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
  In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
  Went envying her and me—
Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,
  In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
  Chilling and killing my ANNABEL LEE.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
  Of those who were older than we—
  Of many far wiser than we—
And neither the angels in heaven above,
  Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
  Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
  Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes
  Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,
  In her sepulchre there by the sea—
  In her tomb by the side of the sea.