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  Jul 2016 Janay
Angel
There are three types of heartaches

Heartache #1
The heartache where you were never loved back.
He’d look at you and smile but you know the sparkle in his eyes isn’t because of you.
He’ll hug you goodbye but you can smell the scent of her perfume as you snuggle your head into his neck.
He would turn away and you’d look at him as if he was the most celestial being you’ll ever see and you’ll remember, the way you look at him, is the way he looks at her.

Heartache #2
The heartache where you strive to make their life a living hell.
You’ll break his heart and realise when it’s too late that you’ve broken yours in the process as well.
So while he is sitting next to you because he has no other choice, you hum the song that he dedicated to you just loud enough for him to hear, and you’ll know it’s driving him mad.
And you’ll wear the shirt he said he loved on you as you pretend to run into him, whether it’s walking casually in the hallway or chatting with someone who happens to be right near his locker.
You’ll find a new boy to smile and laugh with and you’ll know he is in the distance watching, remembering how he used to be the one that got that smile out of you.

Heartache #3
The heartache that never goes away.
The one with the mesmerising blue eyes and smug smile that could devour your soul in a heartbeat.
It’s the restless nights of talking about all your fears, dreams, insecurities; everything that makes you, you.
It’s the way you let yourself be vulnerable as he touched your naked skin.
He’ll hold your hand and make promises he never intended to keep.
He’ll make you believe every word he says is true.
He’ll make you see that planting flowers in your lungs is so much better than destroying yourself.
But he’ll fail to tell you that once those flowers die, you wont be able to breathe.
They all hurt
Janay Jul 2016
shades of Melanin.

It was gifted to us from the supreme.
It all started from that gift which is only inherited from us;
That we gave the world an enchanting and seductive formula.
From creamy vanilla to lustful ebony.
A rainbow of, melanin.
We are the light and the dark here on mother earth.
We glisten in the sun and glow in the moonlight.
We are the reign of earth and the creators of life.
Thanking the heavens for the shades of melanin.
To be continued
Janay Jul 2016

Namaste

I honor the universe's light, beauty, love,truth and peace.
Because it is in me, and you;
it is, me and you.
Praying, for you to come unite with me in our heaven
where we are;
one thought,
breath,
body,
*soul.
  Jul 2016 Janay
Kim Yu
~~•~~
I honor the place in you in which
the entire universe dwells.
I honor the place in you which is of love, of truth, of light and of peace.
When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me,
we are one.
~~•~~
"Open your eyes and realise the universe that revolves around you."
  Jul 2016 Janay
kaycog
Judge me.
Judge me so hard
Yeah, Maybe your face would be
Full of disgust
And hatred
But at least then...
You'd be looking at me
With a face full
Of raw emotion
And energy
No matter how negative
It may be
So judge me
Judge me so *hard
Janay Jul 2016
This Moment


This moment is pivotal,
this moment could alter your destiny.
Don’t make  a permanent decision on temporary feelings.
Don’t believe the lies coming from behind his teeth into the crisp air.
Don’t look into his eyes for a future.
There isn’t one.
Take a deep breath in and Just close your eyes, and count to 10.
Now exhale.
Ask him that one question that’s been consuming your thoughts.
Ask him in this moment.
It might just be your only chance.
Janay Jul 2016
Sorry

I’m sorry I didn’t take care of your heart the way I should have,
I took advantage of you.
I abused your love.
I was wrong for selfishly having you stay with me.
I made you look like a fool and I didn’t care; at the time.
I’m sorry for making you carry that pain subconsciously
with you all this time.
I blamed you for everything and put pressure on you when
I should have been more patient and gentle for us.
you’ve taught me how sacred true love is
and
I was reckless with yours.
I’m sorry for every time that I looked into your beautiful eyes,
I told you lies.
I’m sorry for wasting your time.
I’m sorry if these words aren’t enough for the damage that I caused.
If it makes a difference
I love you and,
I will always be here for you.
to be continued...
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