awareness or
the lack thereof
there is a self,
regardless of
the stupid things
you wish to be
and all those masks you hide behind

a sens of self
is all there is
it’s not a gift
that you receive
it’s that,
the only thing there
is

that’s all you got
that’s all you are
enjoy and swim in it
till dawn

it’s more than life,
it’s cheating death
it simply is,

the sense of self.

staring at myself
and for the first time in
years
i see her
light, the joy, the spark
she’s back
ready to embrace it all again

my empty couch
just stares at me
wondering why I won’t sit down
since you left

i opened my window
and the wind blew in
turning over a page
telling me
that it was time
to start a new chapter

Half of me
has given up
and the other half
hasn’t even started yet
it’s always been like this
myself vs. myself

the battle of two stubborn selves

they take turn
in winning fights
I’m so confused and tired
to root for both
each time

It’s a twisted game.

I play myself.

if I were you
and you were me
together maybe we could be
the people that we dreamt to be
I’d feel your feet inside my shoes
you’d feel my pain inside your head
we’d see the world
through our eyes
we’d feel the wind
on our skin

if I were you
and you were me
we’d understand each other’s world
for free

today i fell off
of you
of our love
i hurt my knees and my heart
i hurt my hope
today i realised I only have myself to
count on
to love
to care for
today i started investing in myself