I should know better by now
But its the exhilarating feeling that gets me every time
I can't stop myself
And this time you're hard to read
I have absolutely no idea what you are thinking
I cannot help but be more than intrigued
Especially because usually I have the ability to read people like a magazine
But no
Not you
You are a completely new mystery

I may not be suicidal
But I'm still sad in a way that destroys me

I like handwritten letters
And old paper back books
I like walks downtown past old buildings
With peeling paint and cracked side walks
I like old sneakers with holes in them
And soles that scrape the ground when you walk
I like things with stories to tell

I like to meet people and talk about minimal things
Things that won't matter to anyone else
The things that cause their eyes to sparkle
And make a smile tug at their lips
I like to listen to their opinions
The things they feel such passion for

Yet I do not like to stick around
Never do I get close enough to touch
No one makes it past the mask of sincerity
Masterfully placed on my face
Never do I let them breach the surface

I like to stay light and free
Of hurt, pain, and complications
And humans carry these things with them everywhere they go
So once I've learned all I can about a person I move on to the next

And continue my journey of life

I like old fashioned romances
Throwing rocks at windows
And cool walks in the night holding hands
I like good morning wishes and butterfly kisses
I dream of embraces so close
You can feel the trickle of their breath on your neck
Their heartbeat involuntarily syncing with yours

I dream of these things
These things I have longed to feel

I still get excited at the sight of a swing left vacant at a playground
Or mini marshmallows in hot chocolate
On bitter winter nights.

It was a love hate relationship
Love was on his side
Hate on mine.

Real tears do not fall from the eyes and over the cheeks
They fall from the heart and cover the soul
And mine is completely soaked through.

Its so sweet to see all these young people
Wanting to fall in love
I sit back and laugh at their ignorance
When you fall in love you must then fall out of love
And when you fall you will eventually hit the ground
You cannot stay in flight forever
Even if your hands grapple for every branch jutting out of the cliff on the way down
There is not a way you will not hit the ground
They tell me someday I will just keep falling
Endlessly
And I'll never break into a million pieces again
But I laugh in their faces and say Its not possible.
One must always return to the ground eventually.

She is gone now
The anchors of her heart dragging her to the depths below
Hands grappling for air as she sank
Eyes full of fear and despair
Hair swirling around her face like the thoughts in her head
She is gone now
I pray that you'll remember her
I pray that you will love her forever too
Because she ******* died for you.