One thing I can show you-
As if my love understands, or could do,
All of the things that the happy people knew,

The lessons we teach, are taught back to us too.

I won't know you again, right on by my side,
As my dreams whirlpool,  we're pulled under riptides
May I find, and then loose, you on this earthly ride-

May you glimpse my real pain, on this final bedside.

Spencer
Beautiful Baby
my boy, and my lover,
silently glowing with hope.
He reminds me
that through worry, although tonight-
I may still sleep.
My Spencer,
always so ready
to hear & see
but only ever
in our blue dreams.
Eager to know; Understand
Eager to help, desperate; to heal.
To fix-
to carry.

Spencer. Spencer. Spencer.
A name, a question & an answer,
a Silent Singer's basement dancer-
a Simple, magic, modern-romancer.

so it's him with these words,

that I choose to now smother,
as I write precipitously  , yet another..
Prayer that his truth & love uncover,
Pieces of me as memories recover,
a new way to yearn & then rediscover,
sincerity's truth within one and other.

A part of me died last night-
Swallowed by deep shadows,
A Prestidigitator's Rite-
Conjures  woeful wet tomorrows.

Oh,

Little Black Death, a part of me;
How my soul it now does borrow,
Still
I'm not what I wanted to be
All I've become's known sorrow.

Now its over, No more feeling,
Nothing left - to believe in

Youth without youth, 70's child,
No longer 'them' but 'us'
Disguised in a cipher's hidden truth
how inconspicuous.