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Heavy Hearted May 17
For 2 years, we've met, until now, I stop.
Arranging impassion's unpleasentationships
in this 10th year, doubtlessness's equipped
to unveil all of his un-friendship.

I'll leave here.                        
  
I leave behind.              
      
  I'll leave today-    

         & wont return.

When you go so far and factiously thank-
  what you know to seek forgiveness for
Your once full words, empty and blank
while guises of gratitude implore.

All the cop outs and shifting blame
To grow up and then blow away again
Us tortured youths, from diamond minds
Extrapolate all that we may find
Worthy, of exchanging for our flesh's  time-
Insidiousness perpetuates the implicit crime.

All that's perceived against one's will
Somethin within what I've now absorbed,
Like Freckles in the minds eye's open windowsill -
Every smile, each kiss, your touches abhorred.

As if I could make a deal with God,
and get him to change our places-
I'd be running up that road. Running.                                          
   Running.   ­                   
Running.                                        
Running-        ­            

With no problems.
To Dr. Ariel Graff,
Someone I once thought of as a friend, as brief and nieve as that was, I still wish he were. Written the second last time I was in his house, when I finally realized.
What would you like? Was the question I asked
To the person lying in what once was my past
Can it potentially, ever last?
I'll dictate instead of typing This fast

An easier way to communicate to
The thoughts and the Feelings that make up virtue
I'm saying this here for me and for you
though you've no idea, not even a clue
what exactly I'm looking at when my eyes pierce on through

Your face is guna tell me what ur mouth can't say
N I hope you figure your **** out someday.
Free association free verse train of thought, inspired by done in Ariel's Bud.
Heavy Hearted Apr 16
Happy birthday- its what they'll say
With voices which typed words delay
Where on your behalf today, they'll wish
Simply for your happiness

A wish to me, is like the Horizon
An imaginary line of undefined potential,
Forever fading when approached.
With its endless opportunity preceding the powerless thrill of pursuit-
Forever fading,
we approach.

When Happiness is fleeting
as all emotions are,
The golden light of  this April's dawn-
Not silhouetted, scars.
After the soul's darkest night
Drifts into it's deepest blue,
nightmarish, waking dream's reveal
relentlessly, nothing new.
Oh how the saying makes me sick
And excuses, there are not
Devicive taunting, hate's mimic
Word's we weaponized from thought.
So, a new turn of phrase,
a saying born within the dark;
Is whispered to myself, alone,
                                                    A Sky-cyphers
Scribbled, trailing mark.
For the first and only time,
Not of me but you
These writing's wordings weave a web,
of synthesized virtue.
To be spoken allowed to oneself,
read, written or thought,
Of each word that's now misused- their purposes forgot.
examined, explained, investigated my life
As if speech were the blade, written words are the knife.

all of the meaning and
every mora, tethers to our mortal coil
Life and it's significance-
A product of its transience.

The concept of fate & of destiny, too
Both insinuate journey, the movement through
How, now, can our destinations insue
We'll come Home, its depths, are dreams of blue.


*between the church hymn
And under haiku
It is,
Ravled in deep bules
Heavy Hearted Mar 15
From the first awakening to the sighted's sleepless death-

We're bent under times unbearable weight, between these events two,

I wont lose something beneath heaven's breath, worse,

Than the reluctant, peculiar, perfection of you.
Left my body so it seems
Heavy Hearted Mar 13
Who we are now being the toll taken,

On behalf of each moment we relapse- the mind's Choir,

Transformations, now;  until we cease to be

In position's symptomatic with abandon desire .

From the first awakening to the sighted's sleepless death-

We're bent under times unbearable weight, between each of the two,

I wont lose something beneath heaven's breath, worse,

Than the reluctant, peculiar, perfection of you.
first writing of the new year, inspired after reading Sara Teasdale's ' Strange Victory' .
Heavy Hearted Dec 2024
Once Again- I don't know...
Deep, inside
the memories I left behind-
Close my eyes,

And remain helpless-
Again, Lost

To the fear.
Are you for real?
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