In a heartbeat, to the core of my being. think before you speak. you could never understand so don't ******* talk about or wish things you know absolutely ******* nothing about. It's not a "gift",its a ******* curse, there are no advantages... I can't change anything no matter how hard I try,my whole life.  I truly despise myself so how could I ever,ever love another? I refuse to drag anyone down with such foolishness. It would never work between you and I, as much as I care and love helping take care of others. I'm barely holding it together so if I can't fix myself, how could I fix you? I doubt I'm strong enough.

Truth?
Truth?
What Truth?
The truth is that we all stumble blindly,
pretending that we have any semblance of what we are doing.
We fail to grasp the mere simplicity of things
and we have to make everything complicated.
Just passing through.
Regrets,
what a waste of time.

Her face illuminates with hues of honey and warmth. Her hair cascades down her back with the scent of french vanilla. Outside the window, the rain comes down like arrows of ice and plays its melancholy eternal song. In the sober light of day, we part with sweet whispered kisses. Yet, was it all an illusion? Bitterness starts to seep and chill the air. What do I care? The past is nipping at my heels. I will ignore it for as long as I can. For now,  use me up until there is not even one atom left of my being.

I wallow in a glass,
and look upon the world with disdain.
When I only have myself to blame.
Too much has changed and I can't go back.
I'm not the same nor are you.
I grow weary of this game.
Perhaps I'll wake up from this dream.
For now, I'll just keep moving along
trying to find a purpose.

Looking at the world through rose coloured glasses,
hiding behind the illusions.
I shut my eyes and my fear grows,
If I open my eyes to the reality, what will I see?
I choose to ignore it and I feel empty.
It's not long now until I succumb to the shadows.

Oh, how my heart aches and longs for something that it can never attain.
Yet, there is a tiny glimmer of a spark that if beholden to and nurtured.
It would suddenly start aflame and succumb to my deepest and inner desires.
It would be enlightening, enthralling or perhaps, irrevocably damage me wholly for all eternity.

You think you're a rebel?
So charming and laughable
You defy the norm?
You are not unique
You're just another copy
You can't even be yourself
so pathetically and easily influenced.
layers and layers that hide the real you,
do you even know who you are anymore?
Nor do I
I'm a hypocrite
Who does anyway?
Lost, buried and never found,
never to be again.