Sleepless nights full of regret
For holding it all in
Waiting for the erosion
Of my mind to begin

My soul wanders aimless
Blind, lost and weak
A beautiful future
Now dark, lonely and bleak

Where do I look for courage
To find my voice
Is it too late?
Do I still have a choice?

Am I destined to be silent?
Nothing more than a mute
Unable to express
And emotionally irresolute

So now I just sit
In a dark corner and sigh
Looking for answers
To the how, when and whys

I hope the answers come soon
On why I don’t speak
Why I can’t express what I feel
And why I feel lonely and weak

Until I find the answers
I’ll just continue to cut
But I will hide my arms well
So nobody sees and thinks I’m a nut.

He came in the night
Hearing the wish you did plead
Your knight in shining armor
High atop his white steed

His armor did shine
With a pleasing white light
As visions of hope
Filled the lonely dark night

Features so striking
But gentle and smooth
The warmth of his smile
Of his gallantry it did prove

He vowed to protect you
To vanquish any foe
His loyalty and honor
Unlike any you’ll ever know

You took his strong hand
And he swept you away
Bold and flamboyant
In that old world way

You’re now his fairytale princess
But his love on you he did not shower
Now trapped like the poor maiden
Who had been locked in the tower  

Unhappily ever after
You now live a storybook life
You fell for his deceitful facade
And now you’re his prisoner and wife

He protects by controlling
He’s violent and cruel
To believe in real life fairytales
Has made you look like a fool

So be careful what you wish for
Sometimes they may come true
But they may not always turn out

How can I speak?
Or praise your greatness
When your very presence
Takes my breath away

How can I behold your loveliness?
Or gaze upon your wonder
When your divine beauty
Blinds my adoring eyes

How can I caress your elegant form?
When the very touch of your soft skin
Sparks a flame within my soul
And burns like a wildfire throughout my body

How can I impart to you
The very essence of my emotions
When just the thought of you
Paralyzes my senses and leaves my body weak,
And my mind reeling with images of your grandeur

Slave to your beauty
And a prisoner to my own weaknesses,
I find myself lost in this realm
Of obscurity and helplessness,
Afraid that you may never know my true feelings

Therefore,
As a final attempt to show my heart
I offer you my hand

Hoping that you may take it into yours
And I can lead you down the aisle
Towards a new life together
As husband and wife

Are the “Things” that we have,
The “Things” we really need?
Are the “Things” that we want,
Out of necessity or greed?

“Things” are all the items
We are told that we must get,
Putting the naive misguided people
Deeper and deeper into debt

Told to us by big corporations
With their lying alluring ads
By a greedy society’s self-indulgence
Falling for the falseness
And ridicules new fads

THINGS,THINGS…. THINGS
And more “Things”
New houses, stylish clothes
Nice cars and diamond rings.

How many “Things”
Does a person have to obtain
Before they finally realize
They are just greedy selfish and vain

That is why I keep my “Things”
Few and far between
Because the ugliness of always wanting
To me is clearly seen

My humble life is packed
With everything that I really need
And I am free of all the want
Vanity and greed

My heart and soul are full
With Love, and the happiness it brings
Because I finally realized
The best “THINGS” in life
Aren’t  material “Things”

This word I give to you
Is as precious as new born child
But as fragile as a promise
Waiting to be broken

This word I give to you
Shines as bright as the sun
Or is as dark as a black hole
Consuming all that is near

This word I give to you
Is as mighty as an oceans current
But as gentile as a lazily flowing stream

This word I give to you
Holds the key to ones heart
Or the chains that binds ones soul

This word I give to you
Can be used to suffice ones humble needs
Or satisfy ones selfish wants

This word I give to you
Has been the bringer of many new lives
But the cause of many deaths

This word I give to you
Is like no other,

This word I give to you is
LOVE….

What is it with you?
Tiny little pill
That makes me crave you
Even though I’m not even ill

You have clouded my judgment
And infected my brain
The way I let you control me
I must be totally insane

I know I should leave you
Discard you for sure
But I can’t seem to shake
Your illicit allure

You always seem to know
How to make me forget
All the things in my life
That fills me with regret

You numb all my pain
And chase away my fear
You take me from my reality
And make everything disappear

How ironic it is
Although my mind is sedated
I feel we are as one
Both poison and encapsulated

I guess I must accept
You’re my companion for life
My life’s guilty pleasure
My 80 milligram wife

So forever we are bound
You have had me from the start
Just one dose of your pleasure
So now it’s till death do us part

Deep pools of heartache and sadness
spill from eyes like drops of liquid pain.

Contorted images of punishment and suffering
Twist and writhe just beneath the surface
Of a bruised and tattered form

Torturous memories
Devour and feast upon the dead carcasses
Of dreams and desires that once ran free
Within a realm of innocents

A heart held captive,
Bound by chains of broken promises and lies,
Held fast by the weight of fear and self pity,
Complacent to the illusion of change

The soul wanders lost within the mists of insecurity
As it searches frantically for that once loving hand
To lead it back into the light,
But only finding an angry fist
That forces it back into the darkness

How long must a nightmare continue
Before one can awake from its horror,
Or has this become the waking life
Of a content submissive
Trapped within one’s own brutal reality

Eyes look into the mirror
Expecting to see truth
But only emptiness is reveled

Words whispered into the night
Echo back screaming
In desperation to be heard

Arms reach out for comfort
Expecting to hold
But only the nothingness
Returns their embrace

A breath of hope
Escapes trembling lips
But is heard as a sigh
Of loneliness and despair

A dream ready to be lived
But from the nightmare
A tortured soul
Will never wake

Two peas in a pod
We share the same space
Happily enjoying
This time and this place

Side by side we now sit
Brought together by fate
Comfortable and cozy
In our pod on a plate

Not a care in the word
Like teens on a first date
But both praying inside
Neither one of us gets ate…

Incandescent radiance illuminates dark eyes
under the cover of stars and moon.

Elegant silhouettes emit passionate luminescence
like sparkling pools of liquid desire.

Profound and intense is the emotional and spiritual fornication,
ethereal beings igniting divine fervent fire within.

Vivacity and exuberance
dance wildly on an expectant wind
as it carries their loving sounds across the expanse
of an endless adoring night sky.

Where hast thou gone?
Sweet innocents of youth
Thy reverence of purity
And subservient of truth

With poisoned treachery
Thy essence perverted
Ignorance and jealousy
Thy Inner beauty subverted

Heavy upon sharp thorn
My trust doth lie
Heart heavy with burden
Tears of anguish I now cry

Unknown to thyself
Thy sweet self dost deceive
I know not my place
To my fatherhood I now bereave

How sweet and lovely
Dost thou make the shame
Never say that I was false of heart
As easy might I suffer myself the blame.

This I do vow,
And this shall ever be;
I will be true, and love eternal
Despite thy betrayal of thee.

You came into this world
A little different than most
But born to me as my son
Who I love and will always hold close

You’re filled with such joy
And see the world through loving eyes
That I could see past your disability
Was really no big surprise

There was so much about your condition
I had to study and learn
But with an open heart and mind
It never gave me a moment of concern

Look at you now
A handsome young boy
Learning and growing
And filling everyone’s heart with joy

I am your proud father
And will do all that I can
To make sure you develop
Into a self sufficient young man

So even though you were born
With an extra chromosome
We will make the best life together
And overcome your Down’s syndrome

I’m waiting for the day
You will embrace my weary soul
Lift my descending spirit
And fill my hearts gaping hole

I’m waiting for the day
We can share our hopes and dreams
The day we can share with one another
What true love really means

I’m waiting for the day
I can look into your eyes
Hold you in my arms
With no fear of saying goodbye

Now no longer waiting
That day is now here
Fate has now found us
Our future is now clear

Forever united as one
Our bond can never be broken
Words of love eternal
Never needing to be spoken

Days full of happiness
And evenings of passion and bliss
Mornings started with a smile
And nights ended with a kiss

The day came and went
And is now long past
But our love continues to grow
Our wildest dreams we did surpass

A beautiful life spent together
As lover and friend
Wanting our moments to last
And the days to never end

But now I’m dreading the day
Heaven calls my angel home
And again I will be lost and broken
And left all alone

I will be waiting for the day
To be reunited once again
With my soul mate and partner
My lover, my friend

An eternal lifetime together
Where there’s no existence of time
Just an eternity of happiness
Enjoying days that never end

I’m waiting on you
And I'm being very patient
To show you my love
Is my only intent

The hours and minutes
Tick by unmercifully slow
And my anticipation for your touch
Just seems to grow and grow

Unable to focus
My thoughts are only of you
As the hours pass into days
My red heart fades to blue

I yearn for you intensely
As those days turn into weeks
My life seems meaningless without you
Your presence my soul now seeks

Weeks have evolved into months
And my sadness I can hardly bare
I feel as though I’m fading
Into the nothingness I now stare

Desperation and heart ache
Months now have become a year
Losing you forever
Was my deepest dark fear

You left without reason
With out even a warning
Now in the stillness of this place
I find myself mourning

But today I stand at your grave
And realize now it must be
That you’re the one who now
Is patiently waiting for me….

Beautiful creature
Thou hast stolen my heart
And imprisoned my soul

Tempt not the power of my passion
For thy fragile heart
Shall not weather the storm
My love produces

Like a tempest
It shall sweep thee from thy feet
Spinning thee wildly in blissful chaos

Tears of my joyful enlightenment
Shall rain upon thy silken hair
Soaking thy delicate skin
With my deluge of affection

The sound of my beating heart
Shall reverberate within thy being
Like thunder echoing the words
Of my eternal devotion

Alas the completeness of my love
Shall strike thee like a bolt of lightning
Piercing thy heart

And with explosion of light
Thy eyes shall illuminate brightly
As my love scorches thy heart
And my passion sears thy soul.

My life is perfect
Because I accept it as it is
And it's completeness
Is reflected in your eyes

Our love is just enough
I embrace all you choose to give
And you never expect more than I can offer

We've accepted our fate
With open hearts
And see our future
With clear adoring eyes

The perpetuation of our existence
Is driven by our mutual desires
As we traverse our life's path
Together, hand in hand

Where did you come from
A distant time or place
From one of my dreams
Did I imagine your face

Your voice is a familiar song
That plays through my head
The lyrics were written
From the beautiful things that you have said

You touched my heart deep
With emotions so strong
With those beautiful eyes
And your sweet loving song

Do I know you from another life
Can this be true
I see in your smile
you are wondering this too

Our closeness we have
Is beyond all compare
The understanding is simple
Of the connection we share

Both knowing and wondering
Sometime and somewhere
Our hearts were as one
And we had not a care

Though my mind is unsure
How all this can be
One thing I know for certain
Is our love was to be

Broken pieces of our shattered lives
are packed away and forgotten
like unwanted items in the attic.

Hidden inside a box that holds the crushed dreams
and un-kept promises of more hopeful times.

Near the torn bag of trust and the other miscellaneous emotions
which once held meaning in our lives.

How convenient to hideaway our mistakes and bad choices
or to stow away the things that once gave us joy,
but now only collect dust on a shelf.

We live by the rule out of sight out of mind,
more willing to discard than retain,
easier to forget than to feel pain.

Only to one day realize
there is no more room to store those unwanted memories
and we are force to go through them and remind ourselves
of who we once were.

Fading the blackness
With explosion of light
Eating away chaos
As sanity regains it sight

Righteousness erodes deep trenches
Through evils thick crust
As promise wields hopes hammer
And pounds it to dust

My fight has been long
A grueling battle it has been
For my quest to be wholesome
And free of all sin

But my resolve grows weary
And my will is getting weak
Just a balance between the two
Is all I now seek

How can there be a victor
In this ongoing fight
When it takes darkness
For there to even be light.

Eerie voices creeping around corners and eaves,
laughing and whispering their promise of the coming storm.

Crying frustration at the trees that grasp but can not hold,
tearing leaf from limb as it passes.

Turbulent passage through alleyways and streets,
spiraling into devils against all who dare resist.

Carried away with reckless abandon into the night
and blowing straight to the sea
to rejoice as a gale to finally be free…..

The infinite dreams
Of a beautiful mind
And the visions of love
Held within

Can give forth
Immeasurable powers of beauty
And kindness to the soul
Feeding an unyielding passion
For life

If given a chance
To be thought
And then realized…

With your eyes full of hate
As venom drips from your fangs,
Your pores oozing contempt
While anger courses through your veins.

A putrid cloud of malevolence
Surrounds your black heart,
While animosity and revenge
Rips your sanity apart.

Your mind has been poisoned
And your spirit subverted,  
By the slow death of your soul
Which you could have averted.

You chose to consume
The evil and hate,
Eating every rancid morsel
Served to you on that plate.

You wash it all down
With that liquid you hold dear,
As you continue to drown
In your own misery and fear.

This sickness has destroyed
Everything you held true,
You’ve traded your life
For that foul witches brew.

Unable to see
Past the darkness and lies,
Even deaf now to hear
Your soul’s pleadings and cries.

Unsuccessfully you try
To wash it away,
As you drink from that bottle
Day after day.  

I pray for your soul
And the torment you face,
But the truth about yourself
Alcohol can never erase.

You left without saying goodbye
You slipped so silently by
I had not even noticed
Until it was too late

I reached for you
Desperately through my darkness
Only to find an empty place
Where you used to be

I looked for you crazed
And with urgency
Like a moth who seeks the light
But was only greeted
With frustration and blindness

I called to you
But my words were returned to me
Unheard as if never spoken

I ran to you
But I stumbled and fell,
Crashing with realization of my betrayal

Please come back to me……
Forgive me for forgetting who you were,
And all that you had given me

I took you for granted
And let another’s lies
Blind my judgment

Please return to the place in me
That aches with loneliness and confusion
I have awakened from my torturous nightmare
And long for your reassuring touch

Give me your strength
So I my rise to my feet
And stand once again with purpose

Fill me again with your light
And guide me towards the path of my salvation
And never again shall I forsake you

Please return to me soon
For I am nothing without
a ” SOUL”.