muddy roads thin and narrow,
reaching through the quiet streets,
the alley I once grew and cherished
but it does not remember me.

wild plants growing on the sides,
once a kid picked caterpillars here,
it brought him joy and excitements,
but they must be happy hes absent.

a child used to run through this place,
leaving trail of oval imprints.
trashing the earth mother below,
the ground must be happy the kid has vanished.

No one care that he has disappeared,
not the alley, nor the people living within,
he naively thought he was part of it
but when hes gone, no one cares,
no one remembers

in a dim dark rectangular room,
there trapped my very soul
alone I sit doing what I must
to live, to learn, to fight.

expectations thickens the clogged air
tightening around my chest
it's hard to breath, it's hard to think
it's hard to know what is for best

mindless like a machine
I repeat the same old formula
to sleep, to wake, to work, to eat
on and on, to repeat.

but as I learn to go outside,
to push those limiting walls,
I learn the harsh truth, my own lack of worth.
and the walls tighten instead.

the more despair binds me the harder I work,
yet through this I realise my faults and uselessness
in retaliation I work even harder to fight against the crushing walls,
until I'm squished by those them, myself.

time is the only present I need, yet it flees.
like the blowing sand once in the ancient Egypt wind,
vanishing into the nothingness, along with the nose of the sphinx.
gone into the vastness, the mono coloured canvas.
every second I lament the last,
the unreturnable past,
the fragments of time that fled my grasp,
I hate, oh, alas.

The rifts of life mends itself anew,
but always flawed, a tiny crack remains.
never visible to the fleshy eyes
forever there, it quietly hides.
until another fissure gaps wide open
slowly, slowly it'll fix itself again,
but how many scars can a frail heart bear,
until it breaks, and can't be repaired?

Hollow abyss of the deep cliff, into the distance the moon shines bright
wind caressing the fresh green grass, festive fireflies.
beating against the rocks below, white bubbles arise,
darkened spots in the starry sky, the end is to arrive.

Death reminds me of silence,
elegance, what I strive to be.
quiet and devoid of noise,
peaceful to the mind.

No tangled mess of emotions,
theres nothing such as pain,
no expectations from society
no meaning, no sound...

floating in the emptiess,
as if one don't exist,
but does it really make an difference
since I will not be missed?

monkeys giraffe buffalo ape
snail and spiders together ate,
hippo zebra croc'o'birb
emu is the strongest bird.
cats and boots and deers and goose
human do indeed like noose.

The empty gap between the line of truth and dream grows thin,
thoughts flee, visions fade, everything begins to rot within.
diminishing values of my own merits, I yet reach ever far
crumbling or shatter, the body no longer cares.

elusive fantasy, dancing phantom of the misty thin reality,
flipping through the myriads fold of solid air,
is anything ever really ever real or ever near?

hush, the it's all dreams now and I'm sound asleep
or is it reality that has begun, and I am now alive?

Are anything I experience at present true?
The friends I have, the belongs I own, the ideal I believe,
when I wake or sleep, whichever is the one that'll disappear?
the abstract shroud of mist never unmasks my eyes
but when the dirt and dust of dream have drifted far away,
how will I know I am wide awake or dead?

Emotion is like the waves of the ocean,
one pushes over another, becoming stronger,
until it reaches the shore, diminishing to bubbles,
and another, another.

Happiness, Sadness, Jealousy, Anger,
none are permanent, none does linger,
time is the best cure of all living things,
and wait is a must we adjust.

Sorrow arrives, greeting us the hello,
down there we feel, empty husk a hollow.
the world is collapsing, this cannot feel worse,
this emotion is at it's apex.

But just as all things at it's tiptop peak,
it now begins to fall.

greet :: IO ()
greet =
putStr "Greetings! What is your name? "
>>=
_ -> getLine
>>=
\name -> (
putStr "Where are you from? "
>>=
_ -> getLine
>>=
\town ->
let msg = "Welcome, " ++ name ++
" from " ++ town
in putStrLn msg
)

I am a harp that rings the voice of sorrow,
my heartstrings people pluck,
manipulating my mind for their own amusement,
yet still, I wish them joy and luck.

I am a tuba that bellows remorse,
deep echo vibrates through my empty husk,
once this vessel consisted of many affection,
but now, it is all of the secluded past.

I am a drum that strikes rapid frustration,
silence when untouched,
The constant beating always reminds me,
Reality ever struck.

I am a piano that play songs melancholic,
trying to unleash the pain and sadness from within,
but the keys will always be mismatched,
from where my feeling's been.

Upon the sated grass we sit,
enjoying the warm autumn breeze.
eating sandwich, sipping some tea,
waiting for the coming winter freeze.

Calm and relaxed, peace is present,
forgotten of all the pain and torment.
...
But did we really???

<i>it haunts, it gloom, it's always here,
peace is never truly near.
temporary joy is what we dream for,
but life is never fair.

hard working you be, but to no avail,
people will hurt it if they will,
countless time and efforts you spend,
but then your work is back to nil.

friends and family, so much worry,
in your head are thoughts that's flurry,
this and that and this and that,
everything is such a hurry!</i>

the air blows past, comforting my dried skin,
the chilly wind is good with my hot drink.
but the sky grows dark and the time goes thin,
it's time to go home and think.

Reaching hand unable to grasp the goal,
so we retaliate.
but we realise we cannot reach it at all,
I guess it's fate.
now we give up and and sit still,
filled with hate.

On the internet no one knows who you are
you can act differently and not give a single care,
you can make friends, you can have fun,
you can sit and talk with people all the things you've done.

but why should anyone take me seriously,
when all the day, I buffoon jokingly?
putting a pretentious smile upon my stale face,
brief happiness I seek and chase.

Life tangled with messy reality,
seeking refuge with an online personality.
yet the shadow gloom still over the heart,
until the 2 worlds can no longer be told apart.

The seriousness I throw away starts showing online,
the umbra of loneliness begins to show sign.
I must hide all this, it needs to go away
this facade of joyfulness must not sway.

But in the end, my alter ego is still part of the real world,
and sooner or later, it shall be consumed whole.

I don't wish to speak to anyone,
because I know when I do,
they will find me an annoyance.

I don't wish to speak to anyone,
because I know when I do,
I will get ignored, their conversation carries on.

I don't wish to speak to anyone,
because I know when I do,
I'll be told to stop, I'm better off.

I don't wish to speak to anyone,
because I know when I do,
I'll just disturb their flow.

I don't wish to speak to anyone,
because I know when I do,
I'll be scolded, mocked.

I don't wish to speak to anyone,
because I know when I do,
I'll start to be attached, unable to let go.

I don't wish to speak to anyone,
because I know when I do,
no one will take me seriously.

I wish I can speak to someone.

A normal day goes by, nothing special happens,
but deep inside my beating heart,
my spirit begins to bruise.

everything was ordinary, yet strangely, angst grows,
paranoia, fear,
anything? don't know.

do I actually have any friends? or am I just a puppet,
trying my best to please and cheer,
but is it just an annoyance?

people seems to love each other, they seem to be good friends,
however, when it comes to me, there'll always be a veil.
Doubt shrouds the mind.

Unable to release from these bounding chains,
I question my every move, spinning in circles,
stepping forward haltingly.

Whenever I do something someone else does,
I get punished, scolded, and mocked,
but they get let through as if they made no mistake,
why is this world so unfair?

Am I friendless because I'm worthless?
Powerless? am I a hindrance?
There's no benefits befriending me,
I have no position in reality.

In the end, friends always leave me for someone better,
someone with knowledge,
someone with network,
someone with influence,
Heck, even someone who's naught but pretty!

Confusion, disbelief, and suspicion, all present,
troubling my head with endless torment,
why is it only me, is it my low confidence,
my distastefulness, or maybe it's my own ignorance?

or maybe
it's because I neglected all those close to me
since I didn't think they thought of me as friend
.

it's all up to chance, so I do have a fair shot,
once I win, I will go home tall and proud.
gambling is bad, this my father once taught,
but his advice I ignored, lost in the casino's crowd.

what does he know of gambling? when he has never tried,
he only listened to the generations before him,
never feeling the joy I'm feeling, pathetic, I felt,
everyone should have a go at this gamble, it's fun.

winning a few rounds, confidence grows,
I up the bids, thinking of the future where I'm rich.
but wait! no way, how did he...
I thought the chance of that was one out of ten!

it's ok, calm, I can still win it back,
a few more wins shall do the trick,
I'll just win some more, win some....
****, why is he so lucky!

losing and losing, losing and losing,
I'm out of cash, and out of dignity.

but hey? I can win those back, right?

and then the dice rolled again.

Silence in my head, silence in my mind,
Is this peace, or is this calm? Or maybe, Desolation.
No longer can I feel my skin against the breathing air,
nor the numbing sour of my muscles.
No longer can I feel the delight of gluttony,
nor the dark smudge of exasperation.

Cramp in the back, yet I lie there unmoving,
staring emotionlessly into the monitor screen.
Breaking news no longer stir my interest,
nor videos, shows, comics, nor games.

Hunger in my empty stomach, yet no appetite is present,
I should eat some food, I mind suggested,
yet, my body dissent.

Threads of thoughts struggle to weave,
exploding in every direction.
Yet strangely, sooner or later
they'll always end up in the same destination.

why can't I forget the past, to look forward to the future?
I wish to have no more regrets, yet it the past haunts me.

The time I did something inconsequential,
the time I did something unimportant,
the time I did something that affects nobody,
yet I did something that deeply disturbs me.

Heavy eyelids shuts and close, yet I don't feel drowsy,
sluggish in the dim lights, I thought, and thought, and thought.
Plans I have, many of them, yet nothing I have done,
whilst I rot here thinking, not having any fun.

Engrossed of all the people better than I,
my eyes dulled, and my heart closed.
my motivation has long exhausted, and my spirits are long lost.
?????why do I even exist, only to suffer my own mediocrity?????

why can't I be better? I ask myself everyday,
but secretly, I indeed know the answer.
it's all my fault, my very own,
there's no excuse, this is what I chose,

Procrastination, lazing, cheating, stupidity, sloth, greed, feigned ignorance, bare minimum, prejudice, pride, arrogance, addiction, lust, hatred, and envy.

why do I possess all these things,
why am I just a bag of sins?
If this is all I have then there's no redemption
guess this world would be better without me.

But I mustn't give up yet, there's still to fight,
there's expectations, the chains constrain me tight.
I'm bound here, scared, and unable to give up...
is this really what my family wanted of me?

I want to become stronger, better, smarter, and nicer,
a brand new me that I can be proud of,
A me that will look back to 10 years past
and say "I'm glad I stepped up and changed".

But to become that me is not my business,
because I know I never can.
the me I know is not proactive, nor preeminent
he is useless, cowardly, lethargic, and poignant,
he will try, he will struggle, he may or may not attempt,
but in the end he will not put up any actions.

Because he has given up.

He will only hope for a better tomorrow.
and then, he'll wish he have died.

Big green ball of tastiness
red is your insides
I cut you up with hastiness
2 half you divides

sweet and crunchy
red and green
melon slushy
I'm really keen

**** me now
this is a cry for help
I'm losing my sanity
guess I'll die, welp

hot summer air
cool fan blowing
fresh watermlon we share
happiness overflowing

mark the knife around your edge
slice it all around
insert the the blade to crack the skin
hear the pleasant sound

have you ever thought about
how great the fruits and veggies are?
they sacrifice their soul and body
so their seeds can be carried over the earth.
they let the animals mutilate them,
and bear unbearable pain.
in their mind is only their offspring
that will one day grow up healthy.
they let their children enter an animal's stomach,
at the risk of being digested.
but only through this harshness they know
can their seeds learn the world's cruelty.
oh praise the fruits! oh praise the veggies,
for they are the greatest parents,
their tough love and their sacrifices
made me wish mine were vegetables too.

why are we born in this world just to suffer,
to reach for unacheivable goals.
Drowned all day in naught but sorrow
until death swallows us all.

Squirming in anguish in this plane of existence,
awaiting for the ending,
thoughtlessly stagger in every direction
only to end up at the beginning.

The empty void is what is to come,
your goals and dreams don't matter,
it'll all flow backs into the hollow anyway,
and then, conciousness will shatter.

Gaze into the future of 10 years from now,
wherever will I be then?
labouring sweats to earn basic living,
or in the grave, a dead men?

Life in the end will always terminate
and die, and burn into ashe,
happiness, sadness, evny, anger,
all will be gone in a flash.

Your opinions doesn't matter, no matter the argument,
you could be right, you could be wrong, but we don't really care.
you're but one person out of the many, and your voice cannot be heard.
You are not a politition, nor a lawyer, nor in the government,
you can fight and rally all you wish,  but you'll always end up in disappointment.
because your opinions doesn't matter.
You are not some prodigy that can rally a whole nation behind his back,
nor are you some great speechman that can touch another's heart.
You are but a common man, speaking out his own thought,
entertaining your own imagination, fighting other people,
debating over things you can't change, but anger you have brought.
but in the end that thought no one actually cares,
your opinions doesn't matter.
The world is not fully black or white, so why are you the judge?
is it prejudice, or sympathy, no ones really interested.
no matter how compiling your argument, there'll always be something you're missing,
there'll always be contradictions within your words, and someone will always find it.
but in the end it doesn't matter,
because your opinions doesn't matter.
But nor does mine, nor anyones, we're all just pieces of pawns,
controlled by the government, society, and big corporations.
it's best to  sit back, enjoy your life, and sip a cup of water,
block out anything that does not concern you,
and live a happy life.
inside your happy little bubble, you'll always be the king,
because no one's opinion ever matters.

Wake in the morning with a heart fast pounding,
the fainting feeling of nausea.
in bed, heavy body drifting between wake and sleep,
consciousness is fading.
happening every morning, a dreading thought occurs,
why is this even a thing?
only recently it started for no apparent reason,
is it because poor diet?
or the lack of activity, lack of good posture,
lack of sun's exposure?
searching for answer online, multiple reasons are present,
first article is named "Heart disease", it only becomes scarier,
Cardio disorder? Tarchycardia? Whichever is the answer!
but one shed of light bright amongst this variety
the answer could be something milder!
Never in life had ever hoped to have anxiety,
but there are always things thats worse,
in comparision to death, or potential failures,
anxiety might be in fact
a bless instead.

My breathing becomes fast when I think of you,
and you're on my mind all the time,
why are you so captivating, yet so elusive?
It is the D I want, why can I not have you?
you soft whisper tingles my mind, my thought no longer linear.
I crave you everyday, whilst sleep, or whilst awake.
You're so tempting, yet so far from, but I can feel that you're near.
your cold breath, your rigid body, I want your boney fingers to caress my face.
I know even though you are not here now, I'll be with you one day, as we all do
I may be straight, but when my mind is on you, you turn me gay.
it's you I want the most in this world, it's the D I want the most
Doom
Destruction
Death, and Decay

You are the purest existence in this world, my love for you is unrivaled,
Your long purple, silky hair, your faint and subtle smile, your dreamy looking eyes.
Quiet you may be, but we all know you're just shy, not talking to strangers, but to close friends you will try.
The books you read are deep and meaningful, not just some children's farce,
your love for literature is strong, and so is my love to you.
A little bit edgy you are, at times, but you are no at all rude,
no evil intend residents inside you, although you're a little bit emo.
You're wonderful, beautiful, and marvelous no less,
your faint smile is what I pledge to protect.
The day of the festival, you came to my home, the sweater made me blush,
white and fluffy it seemed, and curved your outline well.
I still remember the feeling of my palm caressing your face,
smooth and perfect your skin was, how much I'd love to touch again.
Remember the time we first met, and read a book together?
Our hands touched, mind became one, and "how serene", I thought.
Then there was the time, I fed you a chocolate, you didn't even notice,
so deeply absorbed into your book, I've cherished this image forever.

Alas, my love for you will never be fulfilled,
the monitor is a long distance between us, our dimensions do not match.
You do not exist in the same world as me, you're fictional, not real,
but at least in my very fragile heart, we're not a screen apart.
To me, you are real, and that's is what matters.

crackling wood, black smoke rises, the red snakes flickers its' tongues.
The heat is like soft silk, caressing my frozen soul.
sitting by the fireplace, the hearth silently whispers:
stay with me, I'm not like the others, stay, and sit, and watch me.

A calming sight, a soothing sound, everything was nice,
but my greedy heart was not satisfied, I wanted the fire higher!
more wood I threw in the fire place, my eager heart desires
to fasten the process of unfreezing my flesh, to hush my impatient soul.

put materials into the fire no more, my father sternly warned
for then you will  cause unwanted harm,
no benefits would come.

but the red snake screamed at me:
NO! MORE! FEED ME!
HE WARNS YOU BECAUSE HE FEARS THAT YOU
WILL BECOME THE BETTER BURNER.

desiring warmth, I burnt more wood
and more!
and MORE!
AND MORE!
but instead of release, what I received
was a house of burning fire.

the fiery python engulfed my home,
with its mocking diamond eyes.
was it because I trusted the devil's advice,
or the greed thats of my own?

freshly squeezed from the fruit, your nectar so tasty.
one cup I have drank, and then another, and another.
perfect amount of sweetness, and not the sugar thats man-made,
yet, unlike raw apple, your flavour is so fine.
should I put you back in the fridge now, my beloved?
or keep you with me, in case I thirst later,
walking to the freezer is troublesome work, I do not want
to leave the chair I cherish so much.
ah, ***** it, I'll finish you off, who cares if it's one big bottle?
you make me dry lips moist, my heart beats, and my dopamine release.
if I can go back a million years, only bringin one modern tech with me,
it would be you, my dear apple juice, as you are mankinds best invention.
I love you, marry me, I'll always be loyal to you.
who needs a girlfriend, or ntr? as long as you are with me.

I like you and I think you are my friend,
from now on I will treasure you until the very end.
days has past and we have chat, I think we like eachother
so I went ahead and got comfy, and thought to myself that we are finally friends.
the amount of fun I've had with you is imeasureable,
the nights we've talked, the games we've brought, all the things we've thought.

a year has past, and our friendship ever tight, shops we have went,
jokes we have made, movies we have watched.
but I am a fool, I did not know the things that is to come
the betrayal, the heartbreak,
the lonliness and doubt.

why would you not answer me, is it because my fear?
my changing attitude towards you, my insecurities?
answer me, please, I beg you, I thought we were friends,
why are you talking to other people, when here, you have me?

Look at me, I am your friend, you one and only
don't do this to me, I like you,
but now I think you're loss.
Pleading, Scream, everything,
I tried whatever I can
But this apititude of emotions only strayed you
furthur away form me.

Now you are blocked,
my heart is gone,
all emotions cleared
you are dead to me,
you're not the friend I thought.
but deep inside I do still care why must you do this to me?

a rabbit digs a hole,
deceives nothing, the rabbit is dead.
but the cunning ones digs three,
and only then, a chance of survival.

if a rabbit needs 2 backup plans,
then why not the same to human?
You haveve yet to complete your task,
why be so arrogant?

tread carefully, think thoughtfully,
you must have tricks within,
if the cunning rabbit has three holes,
then two more you will need.

It's october, the time for thrills
the time for kills, the time for chills.

the spooky skeleton rise from thine grave
to steal your bones, to make you pray.
mercy you begged for, none be granted,
stripped of your royal skin, now a slave.

Whom must I obey? you wondered,
the headless knight, or the pumpkin Queen?
The Skeleron King, or the Devil within?
it doesn't matter, it's a time for fun,
even in death, it'll all be fine.

Punsih all those who doth not obey,
Trick them all, and heed my call.

Treat is a myth, it doth not exist
even if candy they give, you trick them, insist.
Halloween is a time of horror,
being merciful is certainly not the answer.

go out in the night, do not be scared,
the darkness IS your silk protection.
grab a pumkin, the screaming latern,
by the end of the night it'll be filled with skeletons.

But speak no more of the spooky world,
and gaze into the life of the livings.
instead of spooky they made it joyful,
plenty'o candy is what they think for.

theres no skeleton, no headless knight,
none of the pumpkins are even alive.
to them, we are corpse;
to us, we are the living.
and only on the 31st
can our spooky hunger thirst for hunting.

After the 31st is the 1st,
and then it's time to rest.
lay down back in the ground, a corpse,
filled with sorrow, the living remorse.
But that is fine, for I shall move again
in 364 days, just you wait.