(Early Mornings)


It is 4:10 AM
Here i am, facing you...
Haven't showered...haven't brushed...haven't gurgled
Too early to look...but, i could not resist seeing
This person with disheveled hair
Eyes are not too willing to open
Avoiding the uncertainty surfacing...slowly but surely
Making itself known, this morning so early...
An empty shell, is what i could see
A looming nonentity...

No coffee yet, but, the eyes already speak
You don't answer, your looks are so bleak
That is how you tell me i am  stubborn
But i've been this way since birth...so torn
You tell me, i am just in denial
In front of you, it is like, i am on trial
But, i am just a mortal
Maybe we are both tired
How can we ever go back to being inspired?
Maybe you'd rather shatter into pieces...like i would,
I'd carefully gather your shards...would you gather mine, if you could?

Now, later, tonight, tomorrow...we always face each other
There are days, when i look at you, you make me smile, i feel better!
But, most times, i hate the reflections, they make me glare
And i so despise the thoughts that ensue...i counter your stare
..... I close my eyes, with a plea,
A blink could not erase, the images that i see..

I have never wanted separation
And yet, Fate brought me here, in isolation
You're my silent pal...my silent witness
You say nothing when i become senseless
I leave you in the morning
I come home from work in the evening
And i find you still here... on this wall
Welcoming me home...where i just sit, or stall
Faint jazzy sounds comfort me
A few hours rest...late at night...i sleep...i am free
Then, again, the alarm ruins the stillness of the moment
Robs the dawn of its precious silence
And i rise...to drown anew in despondency...in self pity,
Or is this lunacy?
All i see is gray...and black
Be it dawn...or dusk.

If  ever i surrender
I'd be swamped with the stark truth, the reflections you offer
...this can't be a facade,
...in front of you, it's just too bad

I am

U n m a s k e d...

....I am weak, powerless...i crawl
Over and over, i struggle not to fall,
Over and over, i  look at you... but, just the same..i fall.

         (January 22, 2015)


Sally

Copyright May 2015
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan

When will you realise that
She doesnt cry tears
Only acid drops
To rid herself of your poison.

I could feel the tremendous pressure as he tried to convince me
My skin stung and burned under his harsh touch

It felt wrong
His voice was too agressive
Too demanding

I felt bad
As though I owed him this

But as soon as he slipped his hand up my back I knew it wasn't what he had made it out to be

I told him "No"
But he just ignored me
I tried to pull away but his grip got tighter
I had to shove him away as hard as I could for him to back off
I walked out
I began to walk home

It took me a while to realise that I was shaking


I could'nt help it
I fell to the side of the road

The first tear dropped faster than it should of

The next day it happened
Of course it happened
How could I have been so naive
He dumpt me
Said he was moving and couldnt do long distances even though I saw him several times in the same area later on.

Yeah right.
He only ever wanted me for *** and when I could'nt give him what he wanted he just left

The worst part was that I was so entrapped by his precense that it took me several months to get over him

And even now
I pretend that what we had was real.