When I'm alone I shake, I push people away and I hide from the world because I'm afraid I'm going to brake.

When I'm alone I think. I think so much that when I try to remember what I was originally thinking about I can't.

When I'm alone I don't let anyone talk to me. Then I hate myself for being such a burden to them. Why am I like this? Talk to me.

When I'm alone I can't take a shower. Because that involves moving. Doing something I don't want to do.

When I'm alone for too long I shut down. I turn off my iPod so you can't talk to me. I turn off my tv. I turn off my lights as if that will turn off my brain and I lay there. Not moving. Not thinking. No emotion just.... Laying in the pitch black, a corpse that breathes.

When I'm alone it's like going through withdrawal. Doctor says therapy but I say I like being happy. It's worth the pain.

When I'm with you I forget about this. I'm happy, I'm laughing and talking. I am addicted to you. You are my drug.

Don’t fall in love with me.
There are days when I get sad without a reason and I just stare at the ceiling with tears streaming down my face.

Don’t fall in love with me.
On those days, I don’t talk to anyone. I just bury myself in my bed and think about how I became this mess of sadness.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will become attached to you and I will cry myself to sleep if you don’t text me good night before you go to sleep and I will convince myself that it’s because you got tired of me.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I’m too much. I will depend on you. I need attention, much more than other people. I’ll talk to you in metaphors and make you one. I’ll write poems about you and opening up my skin at 2 A.M.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I couldn’t stand you coming home to find me on the bathroom floor shaking and crying, with blood spilling from my wrists. I couldn’t stand seeing the disappointment in your eyes.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will pour everything I’ve left of me into you, every bit of love, until I have nothing to give. Until I become completely empty.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I’m scared that my sadness is contagious.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will replay your sweet words in my head when I hate myself so much that I want to die. Your words will be the only thing that make me stay.

Don’t fall in love with me.
You will live in fear. You won’t be able to leave me, because you’d know if you did, I wouldn’t have anything to live for.

Don’t fall in love with me.
Before I met you, there wasn’t a single person who could’ve made me stay. You’re my reason now.

Don’t fall in love with me.
Because I will fall in love with you.
By: Unknown writer

Am I the only one that has their demons feasting upon their souls?
They say it is easy to tie a noose around your mind,
To overcome the urges and temptations of ending your life with a suicide
They don't know the true pain and torment that is going on in my head
An epic battle that leaves me with restless nights in bed
"End your life already" they say, as they prey on me during my weakest hours
Sometimes I give into the voices, carrying the sharp blade to my wrist
Crying as I struggle to mutter three powerful words that keeps me going
Choking on my sobs, my lungs deflate with a desire to say that God loves me
I try to convince myself that God is trying to test my faith
And to just wait, wait and wait
Then my Demons will eventually go AWAY.....



~Imperfect Desire **

Not everyone is meant to
                  live,
But not everyone is meant to
                             die.