Im ****** up on you.
You're ****** up on antidepressants
Couldn't see that from the start because you blinded me with your beauty
You must've stayed because I made you feel alive, gave you a crimson color in your skin
Then you found another that gave you feeling in your chest and made blood flow through your cut wrists
You use to have ****** lips because you chewed through them
I guess anxiety will do that to you
You would kiss me when no one was watching and hold my hand when we snuck out your parents house at night
Then behind closed doors your insecurities seemed to disappear
The way you bit into the flesh of my neck and forced me to the bed
Caressed my thighs and gave me a french kiss in a foreign place
Made my back arch as I moaned your name
In the morning I'd leave and come back the next day
Then you started to distance yourself
Ignored calls
****** fists of confusion
Teary eyes and smeared makeup
You stopped answering the door after your mom constantly told me you weren't feeling well
I was abandoned by you
The one person that gave me butterflies and hickies
Knew how to make me laugh but moan after hours
Even though you saw yourself as damaged goods, I saw you as a gift from god
You gave me chills down my spine
Clumsily licked my teeth with your tongue during a kiss
Laid with your body inside of mine as I held you tight and put my face in your neck
Now I yearn for your scent and to see your smile
But you're nowhere to be found
Gone in the blink of an eye
I dread the thought of how fast you slipped away from me
I miss your tight hugs and how you grabbed the back of my neck to pull me in for a kiss
I miss the light you brought to my eyes
How you didn't have to hide behind a mask with me and made yourself so vulnerable
Come back to me.

We are critical.

We find flaws in
everything we see
because nobody
wants to write
about perfection,
even though sometimes
we wish we could just stay
staring into that
unblemished surface.

2. We are never satisfied.

We live our lives upon
mountains of
scrunched up
bits of refill and
ideas we gave up
trying to
express.

3. We never forget.

We write words about
eye contact made
three months ago
that we replay over
and over in our minds
even though it
stopped
being relevant.

4. We are fickle.**

Our emotions flash
from one
to the other
like strobe lighting that
disorientates us
until we feel as if
the world
will never be still.

5. We are exposed.

We don't know how
to keep our feelings
to ourselves so
we'll write them
down for
you to find
'accidentally'.

6. We are vulnerable.

We wear our
hearts on our sleeves
and won't lift a
muscle to fight back
if somebody tries
to break it
because we thrive
from the pain.

7. We will never stop.

We will never stop
feeling and
we will never stop
hurting,
we will never stop
breaking and
bleeding and
loving
even though the cycle
is endless
and we know what's
coming next.


We are addicted
to agony,
but we agonise
for the art.

Is this what depression feels like?
Is depression something you can feel like
or is it just       as is?
I'm not hungry and I'm always tired
and I can't pinpoint it.
Everything is barreling down on top of me
and I can't surface for a even minute of air.
I quit my job.
Drowning and collapsing
I feel like the world around me is getting smaller
and I only have
so much time to do so many things
but I can't      there's nothing
and yet           there's everything all at once.
Help me.
Guide me.
Show me the light
so I can run towards it      full speed
and never return.

The sky seems so dark

The moon seems so dim

The rain falls heavy,

On my tattered skin.

My eyes grow gloomy

I’m shy like the sun

I am never warm anymore

My day has just not come.

The sky does not open

The stars do not come out to play

There is no twinkle in my eye

Like lovers who’ve met that day.

One day I thought it was over,

The next I tried to begin,

Life seemed to ignore what I wanted

And I ignored every win.

I gradually woke up,

And decided to be happy,

Not because the world allowed it

But because I wanted to be free.

Free from some idea

That the world owed me

Free from all the pain,

That stopped me from being free.

When I walked outside,

Like any other day,

The sun did not shine,

But the rain came my way,

And even in that dark sky

And in the midst of pouring rain,

I began to smile,

And I never felt the same.

T.B. Wayne

When work needed done
We used to pound the pavement
But now we just punch keys
We're living in the digital age
Full of neon signs and L.E.Ds

Some say it's the future
Some say it's a disease
I say *it's okay in moderation
Just take a moment
Unplug
And Breath