when did your eyes turn from blue to grey?
what a beautiful grey
a cold grey
a wet October grey
an "I forgot my umbrella" grey
a "Should we stay home?" grey
a day consumed with nostalgic sadness grey
a familiar reminder of rejection grey
a hopeless new romance grey

as grey as the ash from your cigarettes
as grey as that woolen hat that I'd wear while I waited wondering when you'd wander home
as grey as my best shirt you stripped off of me on a grey night

i fell in love with a mixture of black, blue, and muddy pearl
it sparkled against me when the sky clouded up
and we kissed until our vision blurred

I don't remember how vivid colors were before you.

She

cheated
  and falsely hoped..

She

cried
  and then she broke..


My tears were soft falling from my cheeks

They hit the ground like bullets


She realized what she could do without me

  I guess she saw something I just.. I couldn't see

Take a glance
Take a chance
Take a deep breath
Breathe in the fresh air
Cuz you know that I'll do
Anything for you
Run your toes through the sand
Feel the spark that we both share
Trust in every one of God's plans
Come girl take my hand
Let the sun soak into your skin
Cuz you know I'll do anything
And give everything for you
You know I will
I'd lay my life on the line
Let me be your guide
Let me heal the scars
You hold deep down inside
I'll hold you close in my arms
Just like the sky holds the stars
Girl, you are perfect
just the way you are

I won't let you break down
I won't let you fall
I'll be there every time you call
I won't let the storm
Come crashing through your walls
I'll be there through it all
Yeah you can own my heart
I won't give up
Cuz I'm addicted
to everything you are
Cuz you're my drug
I know that this is love

Everything you do
It's so **** cute
And everything you say
Makes me happy every day
You're so sweet when you blush
Oh I just can't get enough
Of your perfect face
The way that you taste
Every time our lips collide
You ignite the butterflies
Deep down inside
And I hope I do for you
You know it's true

I won't let you break down
I won't let you fall
I'll be there every time you call
I won't let the storm
Come crashing through your walls
I'll be there through it all
Yeah you can own my heart
I won't give up
Cuz I'm addicted
to everything you are
Cuz you're my drug
I know that this is love

Princess you know I'm here to protect,
I'm here to defend
Can you feel my heart
bleeding through my chest
I'll bleed for you; I'll bleed for this
Cuz you're everything I am
I won't leave you a mess
I'll do everything I can
I'll wipe the smudged mascara
From beneath your eyes
Every time you cry
I'll take your pain and make it mine
I'd write a million lines
Just to see you smile
I'll hold you tight
Let's light fireworks tonight
To brighten up your skies
I'll never lie, yeah girl it's true
I'd do all of this for you

I won't let you break down
I won't let you fall
I'll be there every time you call
I won't let the storm
Come crashing through your walls
I'll be there through it all
Yeah you can own my heart
I won't give up
Cuz I'm addicted
to everything you are
Cuz you're my drug
I know that this is love

Let the fire of desire
Light that sparkle in your eyes
I love your smile
When you say
would you stay a while
Your teeth are so white just like the stars
that shine so bright
You're my lover, and you are my life
I see you as my future wife
So put your faith and your trust
Into our love,
cuz you're the only one
I truly want
The one that I love
You take me to heaven and beyond

I won't let you break down
I won't let you fall
I'll be there every time you call
I won't let the storm
Come crashing through your walls
I'll be there through it all
Yeah you can own my heart
I won't give up
Cuz I'm addicted
to everything you are
Cuz you're my drug
I know that this is love

©2017 Written By Benji James

Babe honestly I'm not handling
this world so well without you
There to keep me smiling
and I've tried creeping slowly back into your life
But things just don't feel the same

Why doesn't it all feel the same
?
Baby, please tell me

Highlight all of my mistakes

In the brightest colours

So it all stands out to the crowd
Because I'm picking up the Mic
tonight to scream my love for you out loud
Because baby I can't handle life without you
When you are the one who holds me up,
And I couldn't careless
if people think that I'm weak
Honest to God, I need you with me
To carry on and help mend up
the torn pieces of my heart
I don't want us to keep ripping apart
from one another
Because I'm not handling
this world so well without you.

©2017 Written By Benji James

"Write one sentence, the truest sentence that you know."-Hemingway

So I took his advice.

I wrote it on the walls of your slumber and
along the spines of my favorite days.
I painted it on windows,
we turned into doors,
and doors we turned into walls.
I wrote it on your sharp tongue
and all it's favorite places to explore,
the latitudes
and longitudes of a truth unraveled.

I will always love you.

I remember once hearing,
this sentence when I was young.
That if you really, truly loves someone,
then they're never really gone.
So I loved you like an ocean.
More than the eye could ever possibly see.
And after you left, I did remember you.
But realized, who would ever remember me?

i think about
a lot of things
and most of them
don't stay for long
but if i had to
sum it up,
for you,
i think i'd try.

i think about my memories
and replay laughs
and lessons, kisses
and the first time seeing
people who i now know well.

i think about the near future
and try to tame expectations
and try to focus on the now
but sometimes it
gets tough.

i often feel like
dipping in and
out of life like
something rolling
back and forth
along the wave break
resting now and then.

but mostly i just
think of that
which is before me
like a map or
flower or a shadow
or whatever form i find.

so when you asked me
what i think
it at first seemed
a riddle, for
i'm not sure
that i think at all
now that i
think
about it.

In the darkness
of an empty room,
I cry in the corner
seeing visions of you.

I want to feel your touch.
Feel your touch, feel your touch.
You held out your hand,
but I couldn't grab on.
These guilty pleasures
are held, in front of me.
These guilty pleasures
are taking a hold on me.
I can't break free,
Can't get back up
There are no pieces
left to pick up.

As I lay in the dark
of a nice warm bath.
Planning how to take my life away,
I breathe in deeply
drift beneath the water
Until I struggle to breathe
That is when visions of you
resurrect me.

I want to feel your touch.
Feel your touch, feel your touch.
You held out your hand,
but I couldn't grab on.
These guilty pleasures
are held, in front of me.
These guilty pleasures
are taking a hold on me.
I can't break free,
Can't get back up
There are no pieces
left to pick up.

Kneeling in the shower
praying to a God
that doesn't exist.
Don't know the difference
between reality and make believe.
As I look towards the shower head
I still can't see.
These scars that cover me
may need rebandaging.
He's a lost cause,
an abomination.
He's a disgrace
to the human race.
We've been here before
I'm all alone, in this empty room,
Crying in the corner
seeing visions of you

I want to feel your touch.
Feel your touch, feel your touch.
You held out your hand,
but I couldn't grab on.
These guilty pleasures
are held, in front of me.
These guilty pleasures
are taking a hold on me.
I can't break free,
Can't get back up
There are no pieces
left to pick up.

Oh, I've lost myself
everything makes no sense.
I think about the time
you said that you'd be there,
I'm not sure you even cared.
But your smile saved my life
a million times before.
I'm in need of you,
but this time you're gone.
Not sure I will survive anymore.
As I kneel in the shower
praying to a God that doesn't exist,
This razor penetrates my skin.
The blood trickles down the drain,
He falls to the floor,
crucified he cried
Crucify me tonight.

I want to feel your touch.
Feel your touch, feel your touch.
You held out your hand,
but I couldn't grab on.
These guilty pleasures
are held, in front of me.
These guilty pleasures
are taking a hold on me.
I can't break free,
Can't get back up
There are no pieces
left to pick up.

Oh! My star has fallen tonight,
If they were there,
he might still be alive
every night,
he died a little more inside,
my star has fallen tonight

As I lay in the darkness
of an empty room
staring at the ceiling
seeing visions of you
I see your smile
it puts my mind at rest
I fall asleep
knowing I truly was blessed.

©2017 Written By Benji James