I awake crisp morning tiny sunbeams float in
shining intensely through the curtains all signs lead to beauty in the day ahead
and yet I'm crushed an emotional wreck

Because I dreamt...dreamt you got swept off your feet...
By someone who wasn't me

Lump in my throat
hole in my chest... at the thought of losing you... someone I did not know I need
I didn't even know I felt this way towards you.
Who knew
all it would take to crush my soul is a thought...the thought of losing you

And yet this pain has no end in sight
what is delight without you?

I strive to meet...
The person whom lies within

I desire to know what drives your every thought

Ecstatic and enthusiastic happiness you verbalize

it brings me joy to see your eyes Glistening like a constellation with warmth inside so bright


But as I listen
I inquire to myself "is that really you? Or just a Facade?"


When I peer deep within those Eyes
I glimpse great sorrow you Disguise...

When you message

Your name appears

they see my smile

But inside... my chest, Tense


I attempt to inhale
The air thickens
My lungs like Stone...
Chilling to the Bone

Your Phone silent... Do you wonder why?

What do I say? What will be the conclusion?

Delusion?

Rebels in the night immersed in the glow of the bright neon light

Surrender to the Night

For we do not know where to go but we trust in the night that everything shall be alright

The rain begins to pour
the air so crisp

If only the world could cease to exist
And leave you and I in this night of bliss.

2am talking to you...
The hum of a neon sign, Emitting light so tranquil
Purple Luminescence on your face. The sparkle in your eye, it brings life to all...
The smile in your words     In comparison everything so small.    

In conversation vocalising the deep within

What can I say, 2am there is no filter Here.

The euphoria so intense
all Existence has so much Distance,
the world fades away...

Quizzed with the words you speak
Everything begins to dull
Everything so quiet and clear

The realisation of how much I hold you dear
I'd hate to think what I'd do  
Without you here

I'm split in two...
Entangled in my mind...
As Two forces Collide,
A predicament that should be so very simple
Yet far from simple is it

I know what I should do and
I know what I desire to do...
The Two... vastly different

Therefore I do not Know... What I shall do...
Out of fear? Not for myself but for you

For Dangerous things I've done
But in comparison this is beyond those
Because... it won't be me alone exposed

It's a bad idea
I can see it ending with heartache and tears

This might **** me but I know it's time to turn back the dial
I don't want to break your smile


I'm willing to sacrifice mine
And that.... That is fine...

The moment I ground myself and let Go,  

When I become a realist and Grow

Realise it shouldn't Be...

Is the dreaded day I silence the fraction of hope found in Me.

She acts so strong... like stone
Putting the needs of others ahead of her own  
holding them up... the toll... Unknown

She does not phone for help
She acts so strong...
Just ask because you do not need to face these things alone