At a certain
point in our lives
There's no more
"free time"
The closest thing
would be
periods
of
inactivity
procrastination
Or only long term deadlines
remaining
We may
have "breaks"
But even if it takes a
stop
...
We're still on the train
of life
Chugging away

Unique
...
the meaning of my name

Without realizing
I had spun a cocoon
of desires
around that one fact

The name,
my parents gave me,
either on a whim
or because of its beauty
or meaning
or some other
casual reason
...
I seem to have taken to heart
...
Because I truly,
while knowing
I'm not the only one
...
I truly
want to be
Different
...
In my heart
...
Screaming out
in some of my poetry
My inner thoughts

I want to be different
I want to be special
I want to stand out
...
A little girl's dream
of being
a princess...
superhero-
sorceress-
power ranger-
...
...
...
...
Now,
as I'm growing older

I continue to harbor
the hope
in my heart

But rather,
than be
that young girl
chosen
to go to Narnia
or Hogwarts
or
Wherever else
...
I want to carve out
my little niche
in the world
...
Where I can be me

Granola pattering between my teeth.

Rain crunching beneath my feet.

Wait a minute...

Was that what it ought to be?

It's the start of the school
year and everyone's
milling about
socializing

Water particles
Milling about
forming
and breaking
hydrogen bonds

There's a group of
new kids,
awkwardly standing
off to the side

A large crystal
of salt
is dumped among
the
water

Some of the old kids
start milling
over pulling
new kids
into
their friend
groups

The water starts
bonding with
individual
ions of salt
positive with negative
negative with positive
pulling them
away
to form
bonds

Eventually all the
new kids are
incorporated into
friend groups

The lattice of salt
is broken apart
...
And all the individual ions
are surrounded
by
new
friends
Known as H2O

My ignorance is astounding
Yet,
It is of my own choice
Laziness
...
Exactly the cause of my diffidence
If one is to be confident
They must believe in themselves

And in order to do so
They must deserve it
By feeling they
Deserve it
Through their actions though,
I suppose,
That show they deserve it
...
Oh la, I’m simply leading myself in circles

But the main point is
If I want to be condfident
Only I can make myself feel
I deserve it