From the moment
I could hear my grandfathers voice
Telling me legends and fables from his religion

To the time
My dad would
Make up tales
Of a pair of brothers
Just to get me to sit still
When my parents in a rare moment,
didn’t have
A book readily available

From the moment I was able
To hold a novel and breeze thought
Fluently with ease
After my parent’s ardorous task
Of getting me to practice

The days when my
Mind spent less time in the real
World and more time captivated
By those experiencing what I had not
But now, though their words, had

To today
Where my almost every
Free waking moment is spent
Either absorbing words
Of some romantic
Or fantastical story
Or,
Writing.
...
So basically...

Books
Stories
Novels
Words
...
This poem conveys it all
I don’t even have to say
What an integral part
Of me
They
Are

Now whenever I think back
to that feeling which has
almost completely been erased from my memory
I wonder

Was the feeling
that he was there waiting for me
that any moment I’d be in his grip
in his claws

I’d be helpless
alone

That was the worst part
alone
no one else
even if there were, they weren’t any better off

Just me
in a solitary
suspended
state of terrified numbness
so caught up in the moment

Then there was no time
to think logically
and see it for what it was

As I can do now
But
as much as I am relieved to be freed from the dreadful mindless panic
There is a part of me that feels it’s loss

I can write
line upon line of flowery attractiveness

I can write
ferocious strokes of blood thirsty madness

I can write
obsession to the point where it’s painful

I can write
tears and melancholy in a whirlwind of pain

I can write
a fountain of pure undulated joy or pleasure

I can write
at the epic ****** of desperation with nowhere to turn

I can write
dark deep emotions in the depths of a soul

I can write
sparkling emotions, beautiful to the point of being blinding

But, despite it all
at the end of the day
It doesn’t change that
I am terribly, horribly, completely inexperienced
with my imagination keeping me afloat

I’d rather honestly
Spill my feelings
With my words
Than,
Rely on
Ambiguous actions

How do you speak
When you spend every minute
Scrutinizing
Every word
You are
Or will
Say
Even in front of your friends?