I'm fat
My stomache stretches out of its place when i eat
Don't eat
I want to look in mirror and be happy
People shouldn't tease me because I'm not skinny
be skinny
Who cares if I'm unhealthy
As long as I'm pretty

It's harder than you think to be content
to be happy without looking at someone else
so if you ever have trouble
if you might think your ugly
just remember our differences aren't reasons to be jealous
but God's fingerprint

I sit across from you at lunch
but your to busy hanging with you bunch
to know I'm there
you only care
when i get in your way
Listen to what I have to say
because you and me are the same
but you act like I'm nothing
like I'm a punching bag
your to busy to push
like the trash
your to lazy to take out
You make me wan a shout
because you can't see me
through my invisibility
but that's on me
you see I have brick walls
but you don't try to break my walls
and thats not your fault
or your problem
and maybe I'm the one wrong
mad at others because I have walls
but my invisibility stays strong

Respect me
because I am the daughter of a King
respect me
because I have true beauty
respect me
because I am amazing
respect me because I am respect-worthy

You say your original
No one like you
But then I see you with straightened hair and Uggs for shoes
You squeeze into a too small shirt
Your jeans are just as tight
You take off your glasses and get contacts
Does that seem right?
The next day I see you
Your look completely changed
Your hair is died black and your nails look the same
Since when did you wear nail polish?
This is not who you use to be
Now every time we talk
We talk about me
You say my hair would look good straightened
You tell me I should wear Uggs
You say my face would look better with make up
When I say no
You get an attitude
Because I am not a copy cat like you
I see your new friends the ones with the same shoes the same colored hair
They changed you do you care
And when did you start to swear
You are exactly like them now
Me I'm not
So I get pushed out of your best friends slot
You talk just like them
You all walk in a line
What did you think I wouldn't notice?
And act like its all fine
Snap out of it
You must be under a spell
I know you all to well
I'm not telling you to ditch them
You have new friends that fine
I’m just telling you to stop being a copycat
Its time
Not its past time but it's not expired
You need to get a grip because this is not right
This is not you
Its societies bite
It’s got a grip on you and it’s holding on tight
Stop being a copy cat be you
All you have to do is be yourself
I'm so tired of this
People dyeing
People crying all to get accepted being a copycat
Isn’t all that great
When you’re a copycat you don’t get everything as gold on a plat
To be a comply cat you cant be real
Because you feel like the it girl all the time
And its hard everyday when you have to act like you’re in a play but your not
This is real life stop living a lie
All you care about is shoes
Next it’s boos
Here comes the drugs and now you’re the person locked up
Then your rejected like a shoe that doesn’t fit
And the it girl doesn’t have it
She has no friends or so it seems
Because she can always come back to me
But you forgot that
Your forgot the lessons you learned from others
How your aunt had a kid at 14
How your sister just became mean
How your brother is hooked on drugs
And soon you will be too
It's like a loose tooth
You want it there and you don’t care if what’s next is better
Being a copycat is like a loose tooth
You need to let it fall out
Or that is what you will do
You will fall out of a great life planned for you
But I don't what you to fall I will hold on
But I’m not the strong
You need to snap out of it just like I said because
Now you wanna starve to death
Better yet you want me to too
That’s not how I roll
That’s not how I do
Because I am not a copy cat
Like you

There's something in a simple hug
That always warms the heart,
It welcomes us back home
And makes it easier to part....

She was 12 years old
She was really bold
and she never did what she was told
one day she was walking down the street when someone came up to her
now she wasn't alarmed
of course because she was strong
but she wasn't strong enough to stop the man when he grabbed her arm
She screamed and kicked and cried for her mom
but that screaming didn't last very long
because she was thrown in to the trunk
she hit the bottom with a thunk
and that little girl
with curly hair
was never seen again
then right down the road
right at the end
a 3 year old girl walked up to the man
and asked where are you taking my friend?

Party girls don't get hurt
Can't feel anything, when will I learn
I push it down, push it down

I wont get hurt if i pretend
I will never end this charade
I 'm not playing games
I push it down till i turn into a diffrent girl

I'm the one "for a good time call"
Phone's blowin' up, they're ringin' my doorbell
I feel the love, feel the love

I am here, im the one they need
They call me a push me on my knees
They keep calling until i stop feeling anything
but i feel the love
the always needing, always wanting love

[Pre-Chorus]
1,2,3 1,2,3 drink
1,2,3 1,2,3 drink
1,2,3 1,2,3 drink

Throw 'em back, 'til I lose count

Throw em back till i stop dreaming
throw em back till I stop hoping for something better
throw em back till i lose count

[Chorus]
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist
Like it doesn't exist
I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier

I'm gonna live like i wont wake up tommorow
I'm gonna live like my life isnt a mess
I'm gonna live until i forget what my life is like
I'm gonna wipe my the tears from my eyes
*I'm just holding on for tonight

On August 2010
something changed him so he will never be the same again
he was disabled even before
but he fell into the water and made it worse
you see he was disabled but wouldn't let it show
he was even a parole officer he wouldn't let his injury let him slow
but then he fell in the lake
his son was standing a few feet away
he screamed then the ambulance came
his fall awoke a sleeping giant in his spine
so now he cant move his legs
The goverment  gave them a raise of 1 percent
but that didn't do much of anything
to this day his injuring is the same
and it wont go away



His name is Larry Phillips and he is entered to win a disabilty truck that will change his life forever. All he needs is your vote. So please go on the website and vote vote vote! Trust me this will change his life.

http://www.mobilityawarenessmonth.com/entrant/larry-phillips-arab-al/

The twisted reality is that bones break. People literally break and you dont always get better. Lives end, stories end, and people rarely get new beginings. The twisted reality is that none of what you thought as a kid was true. Not everyone can be president, and you cant be who you want to be. The twisted reality is that there are monsters in some little girls rooms, and thier moms cant make them go away. The twisted reality is that nightmares only end when you do, you dont get to wake up and think everything is fine. The twisted reality is that your parents lie to you. Not everyone is beautiful, not everyone is talented, and not everyone can be special. The twisted reality is that someone in your current school will become a 'villian' before thier life is over. The twisted reality is that we are all villians. Doing horrible things for what we think is right. The twisted reality is that most people will ignore what i am saying. Live in the lie. The twisted reality is people die thinking everything is fine.

I'm suffocating
Life is leaving
Without you there to hold me
Your my oxygen

I don't care where you are going
But whenever you leave me
I feel like I'm dying
Your my oxygen

And I know this isn't a fair thing to be saying
It's hard to tell you because I want to set you free
But I keep you here because I need you to breathe
your my oxygen

And I keep denying myself the one thing I need
I'm growing older
And I need to figure our how to do this thing
Before you leave permanently
I need to know how to breathe
*Without my oxygen

My cousin Diamond Johnson just received this email for posting a poem about her boyfriend Josh who isn't on this site.

*Silent screams  10 hours ago
Hello, so I'm not sure if you have a serious mental problem
or if you're just flat out *******.
but, Josh has never loved any other girl besides me and he will never love another, and the same goes for me as well.
We have had a mutual love affair for a year, and I don't appreciate you writing creepy poems about my boyfriend and making up fake "love" stories
If you pursue or try to have any further contact with him, so much as a message or a text or anything.
the police will be notified and I will pay every last cent I have to have them track you down and find you, and that is a promise
Now get a life, and stop trying to interfere in mine.

They say i am depressed

but im not

my life

just lacks motive

I want to make you feel better

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

so i realize i cant make it better

and I want to help you

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

I want to make you feel better

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

so i realize i cant make it better

and I want to help you

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

I want to make you feel better

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

so i realize i cant make it better

and I want to help you

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

I want to make you feel better

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

so i realize i cant make it better

and I want to help you

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

I want to make you feel better

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

Beer is the thing that dulls your senses and your pain
Makes it all go away
Gives me an escape
From remembering the bruises on my legs
or hearing my father calls me a mistake
Taking away my need to be fake
Beer is the thing that sets us free
From our unseen bindings

I didnt mean to hurt you
im sorry if i made you sad
but this love is the first unconditional love i have ever had
its more than you think
Im not just hurting you im hurting me
My broken heart strings ring off key
inside of me an offtune orchestra sings
I have never been perfect
and i never will be
I will never be able to love you like you think
I will never bee all you need
but one day i hope you will leave me
so you can be happy
so im sorry
for hurting you
i hope you dont accept this apology
and forget me

Johnny heard a symphony
In his head
He repeated every word he read
He could hear every harmony
Melody
Saw the notes on the line
Johnny saw the world filled with music
He lived it
So you labeled him autistic
Because if your brain works different
You take pills to make it the same
Different is bad
But when he takes the pills the music goes away
The symphony turned into a piano
That's not quite on key
Instead of beauty
It's an almost perfect note he can't see
"The doctors said it wouldn't disappear completely"
He's conducting to an empty orchestra
The instruments have been put away
The flutes are in the corner
With dust and decay
His fingers can no longer grace the piano keys
He had to think what does that mean
But he can't think
He feels woozy
And dizzy
The pills took away his ability to be free
They said his disorder made him weak
That he could be amazing
If only he was the same
He could be perfect
If we pick at his brain
That are playing a game
With his sanity
He was insane
But they still call crazy
Nothing has changed
But the pulls added a haze
And took his ability
To make music
That's not the same

I am like a crayon
I may not be your favorite color
but one day you will need me to finish your picture

Is it just me


Or does everyone want to start over?

Our diffrences aren't reasons to be jealous but God's fingerprint

I don't want to be black anymore
Strip me of my melanin
My natural curls
Take my lips
My hips
Remove the rhythm from my steps

I don't want to be black anymore
Because in this society that means fear
That means your death is warranted
no justice exist here

I don't want to be black anymore
Because that means my son
Or daughter
Is a victim of the world before us
Where thier deaths are seen as collateral
For the peace of all those lighter than them

I don't want to be black anymore
Because I am a walking target
Aim your gun at me
Because my life means nothing

I don't want to be black anymore
I was so proud of my ethnicity
But now my race only means one thing
Death

So no I don't want to be black anymore
Because I don't want to be scared of everything
I want society to love me
And I want my life to be worth something

I dont matter
I'm full of sonder
sometimes I wonder
what does it truly mean
its all so empty
nothing matters
souls scattered
hearts tattered
sanity ripped at the seams
nothing matters
and nothing is sadder
than realizing it

When she opens her eyes
she doesn't just see the night skies
she sees her mom looking down on her

you know her life wasn't that great
she didn't have everything on a golden plate but
at least she had that

her mom didn't call her fat
or yell at her for this and that
and even though her mom is far away
she knows she looks down on her everyday

So when she opens her eyes
she doesn't just see the night skies
she sees her mom looking down on her
she is looking right into her mothers eye

I'm friends with the kids who smoke cigarettes
Instead of marijuana
The ones who drink vodak
instead of margaritas
The kids who wear all black
And pick pocket lighters
The ones who find home under bridges
And Mark them with graffiti
I'm friends with the kids who go to jail for joy riding thier parents Jeep
And not for getting into fights
We don't sleep at night
But instead we ride
Midnight fries at McDonald's
And 3am confessions
I'm friends with the weirdos
The druggies
The kids who listen to halsey
Before we listen to fetty
The kids who go to prom
Just to sneak out the back
And you may hate us
But we don't care
Because I'm friends with the people who are free
I'm friends with people who are happy

We are all depressed
Just admit it
No one in this world sends to fit it
Forget happiness
Grow a pair and live with it

I don't like to call myself anorexic anymore
because I no longer skip meals
I haven't thrown up over a toilet
and I haven't weighed myself in a year
but the thoughts still exist
my mind still counts calories
for example there are 420 in the saltine ******* I just ate
which is already half way over my daily calorie intake
or would be half way over my daily calorie intake
if I was still anorexic
which I'm not
even though I haven't thrown away my scale yet
It just sits in my room like a prized possesion
Like a priceless talesmen I gained from my last adventure
sometimes I look at thinspiration
just to remember how good it felt
not that I save the photos to my phone anymore
not that I recite the words they say in my head
my favorite one though
not that I have a favorite one
would be having collar bones that collect raindrops
because I could do that
If I really tried I could get skinny enough to capture the rain
to walk outside, feel the drops, and have them stay
I still never finish my food
not that I'm counting calories anymore
but if I was the extra pieces of food on my plate would still count \
even when I eat food just to spit it out
not that I do that anymore
not that I'm anorexic again
because I'm not
I still think I'm fat
but who doesnt
I mean if you saw me in a dress you would know what I mean
I started wearing baggy clothes again
not that I have to hide how skinny I am
Because I'm not even starving myself
You know I gained 22 pounds?
Not that that's a problem
105 was underweight
but being in the 120s is not okay
maybe I'll cut back a little on what I eat
but I'm not anorexic
trust me

The government will protect your children
As long as thier not born

Ladies
Being over a size 2
Doesn't mean you are fat

Now I just wanna know one thing
When do we draw the line between insanity
and creativity
because if sitting in your room for hours talking to your self is insane
then take me away
but I bet Fredick Duglas did the same thing
when he was in jail and the only person he talked to was the ceiling
and if banging your head against the wall means your crazy
then lock me up baby
because when I cant get the end to a poem right
it will keep me banging my head all night
and if thinking outside the box
and questioning exsistence
means your insane
I think your crazy because if that is insanity
we all are insane
people have come up with things
that make others look at your crazy
and you cant just tell me that me thinking
using oil is crazy
I'm losing my mind to insanity
the insane people of the world
are the people who change it
Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks
Columbus, Ghandi
Martin Luther King, Jesus
Einstine, Mr.Peabody
and everybody
who has an idea  is insane
they are insanely great
because insanity is what changes things
Insanity makes the world a better place for you and me
so why don't
we instead of pushing the insane person aside
listen to what they have to say
You might learn something
and you may even realize being insane is a good thing

People always try to put things into boxes
they want to put people in boxes
all of the boxes have labels
The boxes limit the things the people are able
to do
Like saying your black that is to white for you
or even your son is to young to learn how to tie his own shoes
all of these boxes
that have been carried from generation to generation
they of names and criminal in the makin
but I want to tell you that these boxes are mistaken
you see people put things in boxes
because they dont want to see what happens when they come out
they are to scared to think outside the box
and let how they really feel out
so they use extra tape to try to keep them close
the tape of steryotypes and bullying
and even calling people cold
they try to keep us in because they dont want our stories to be told
well i am stepping out of my box
breaking the tape
doing things the boxes say werent meant for me
I am going to break my box and for once in my life feel free
I will leave my boxes behind me

Did you know there are 12 year old kids in America who can't spell the name of the teacher they are having *** with?

When I was young i use to love puzzles
when i say love i mean LOVE
like I would stay up late just to see what pictures I could put together
I would pull one out and stare at the pieces for hours
wonder what beauty would come out of them
and you see I never really finished them though
either to many pieces would go missing
or I would just lose interest
I was only a kid
you couldn't actually expect me to stick with it
short attention spane
but in the event that i actually finished one
my parents use to try to get me to glue them together
so i could always see the picture i completed
but glue was never
an option for me
because why make the beauty concrete
when I can break the puzzle and do it again
when i got older puzzles started to lose their appeal
I no longer felt I needed to put the pieces together in a puzzle
because I noticed something
I noticed that everyone around me was a puzzle
that the girl who sat in the back of my class needed to be put together
and that maybe
I could help her find her missing pieces
that maybe
I could bring the beauty out of her
so I would stay up hours
upon hours
into the night and early morning
just to try and figure out how to fix all the pieces together
how to transform her
into something beautiful
not realizing the beauty of a scattered puzzle
my need to heal people
over took me
to the point that I was so selfless I almost died
I wasn't eating and yet no one notice  me
you see heres the thing
about puzzles
they never take the time to put you together
you sit there for hours
and have nothing to show but tired fingers
and a tired mind
you don't even have to lie
because puzzles never ask if your fine
I had an obession with puzzles
but I never took the time to see the one in the mirror
I was missing a piece
and that missing piece was me
and when I started finding myself
I ending up slipping up
and breaking
never took the time to secure my findings
because why glue when you can just break yourself again?
I was obsessed with puzzles
until I became one

I dont have crushes
Ever since a man thought it was alright to grab my legs
I haven't been able to look at any guys the same
Ever since a man twisted my reality
and told me it was fine if he touched me
I can't picture any guy holding me
So I'm sorry when you talk about how you like him
I can't really relate
I haven't had a crush
Since I was *****

People always say

dont be perfecct

be you

but what that really means

is be who they think you are

if you say something else they will think you are lying

not trying

hard enough


look deeper


thats not deep enough

but who are you to tell me


who i am?

Trust is like glass
Easily broken
Hard to restore

You know you were abusive right?
Honestly worse than your father
You strangled me with words
And left me riddled with questions and scars
Now the scars I applied myself
I had to create some physical evidence
Of the torture you left
And speaking of leaving
You left me
Which I'm happy to say
No longer distresses me
Even though you still won't adress me
Apparently
You go mute when I try to speak
Nontheless
I am no longer obessesing
But sadly
You learned to obess over me
It's obvious you started watching me
Amature
Cover your trail
You're immaturity makes your frail
But you were abusive
Though not anymore more
I finally have picked myself up from the floor
You see
I found the good in goodbye
And I don't crave you anymore
So goodbye abuser
And Thank you
For leaving me once more