This girl I know
She is just ... like a book.

Her cover is so beautiful
And yet ... forever changing looks.

But this girl's beauty
Is unlike any that you've seen.

It really comes from all those pages
Those pages in between.

Each page tells a story
Some of sorrow oh so sad.

But for every one of those that you read
You'll find one of better time's she's had.

This girl I know
She rules a realm that no one ever see's.

This girl will never show it to you
And she will never show it to me.

This girl is tough
And dauntless and strong.

This girl she sings
The most beautiful songs.

This girl will never let you see her cry.

This girl will never answer you why.

This girl she doesn't need wings to fly.

Because this girl ... She is the sky.

You will find her overhead
Every day and every night.

Her sun will warm the hardest heart
And her stars they shine so bright.

If you should ever catch her and open that book
You'd better read as fast as you can.

Standing still in any one place
Is never in her plans.

But, this girl I know isn't running from something
And it's not that she's some bird on a wire.

She isn't blindly running through time, you see
This girl I know ... She has a world to set on fire.

What if
I had fallen to my knees
On the cold parking lot concrete
Tears washing over my cheeks
And cries no one should ever have to hear
Bellowing out from beneath my ribs
Screaming at the sky
Looking up at your face
Forcing you
(and everyone else)
To see me in this godforsaken state
Of absolute chaos
Heartbreak
In it's rawest form
What if I had begged you to stay?
What if I'd told you I can't do this without you?
What if I'd told you how much I needed you
What if I did anything other than fighting back the tears
Maybe for myself, maybe for you,
Mostly for the crowd of people gathering
Saying their goodbyes
Anxiously looking around to bear witness to everyone else's reactions
And I didn't want to be that girl
That girl who falls to the ground
Kicking and screaming and crying and begging
But what if I was?
What if I was any girl other than the one I pretended to be that day
The one that held her tongue and kept her mouth shut because she knew the second she opened it to speak she would sob
The one that wrapped her arms around you for the last time,
and the one that let go
The one that couldn't bear to watch you walk away
So she kissed you goodbye
Got back in the car
And drove home
What if i wasn't that girl who didnt allow herself to completely fall apart until she was alone in the privacy of her own home?
What if instead I'd made a scene,
Doing what everything inside me so desperately wanted to
Grabbing hold of your hand and refusing to let go
Losing the facade of confidence
The charade of strength
But I'm not that girl
And I never will be
So each and every time you leave
I kiss you goodbye
I unclench my fists and retract my anchors
I untether my heart from it's human home
And I put on a brave face
Maybe for myself, maybe for you,
Or maybe
For that girl.

He waited and waited and waited for her
She dated and dated another

Long were the days when she told him
"i will love you till my last breath"

they will stop loving you
they will stop missing you
they will stop caring for you
they will stop giving you their time
they will start making excuses
they will start avoiding you
they will start ignoring you
they will start lying to you

And one day they will finally leave you

but just like an idiot
you're still gonna love them unconditionally.

Perception is an injection,
of either hope or despair,
and I've come to find that it,
either burns or repairs,

I have a gun to my head,
And I can't pull the trigger,
But I dare you to proclaim me dead,
On this last night of winter,

And my innocence flows from my hands,
I just want to be free,
But there are simply too many things I don't understand,
And there is a battle in my head that I did not decree,

And I thought I had a friend,
I thought I had a lover who had a gentle hand,
Rather than a tongue made of silver thread,
So one after another, the tears I shed,

And I’m being sewn into a quilt of myself,
False Representations are the patterns we use,
And my hope is imbued into the emerald felt,
That is used to seal me into this abuse,

And if only you knew how i’m losing this war,
If only you knew that my personal hell has an open door,
Waiting and waiting, for someone to hear me scream,
Waiting and waiting, for you to rip open the seams,
But I learned a lesson that day,
That not every ocean will have a bay,
So I stand here in defeat, only to fight, rinse and repeat,
I learned that not everyone you meet will leave you complete,

Not everyone you love will stay
Not everyone you trust will be loyal,
Some people only exist,
As examples of a life that is soiled,

And some days I feel it all at once,
Some days I feel nothing at all,
I don't know what's worse,
Drowning beneath the waves or dying of thirst,

I think to myself,
How I wished upon fountains of stars,
Let my dreams come from the shelves,
But it was just a world of wars,

Sometimes I wonder,
How sweet it must be,
To feel all the pain at once,
Then sink into an endless sleep,

So tell me,
One cut,
Two cuts,
Three cuts,
Four,
Tell me…...what's one more?