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Ayn Apr 2020
The morning dawn
Begins to light a darkened sky,
Painting colors onto the black.
Like a how printing press makes stories,
The sky paints it’s morning glories.
A child watches this transformation
As it whisks away his trepidation.
A warm sunny light
Shines through these
Once gnarled trees,
And the child finds it
A fine replacement
To the icy blue moonlight
That pervaded the night.
Standing up after a long night,
The boy gingerly steps off the roof
And through his ajar window.
Within seconds of touching his bed,
He’s entrapped, from toe to head.
Slumber takes its firm hold
As punishment for the stunt he pulled.
If I had a window that could let me get to my roof, I’d be up there a lot. I think we’ve all had a fear of the dark’s unknowns.

I’ve never been great at narrative writing, but I thought I’d try my hand at it once more.
Ayn Jun 2020
Petals fly
Petals fall
Dancing roses
Sewing the fall.

Fallen petals laying, red.
Sewn by a simple thread;
The world’s card has been drawn
Fate is facing the early dawn.
Ayn Dec 2019
Dec.29.2019

Up and down and up again,
my stable position changes at the drop of a pen.
I have not an idea of where I am going,
and I am quickly forgetting where I've been.
My bike keeps ruggedly flowing
over stumps and bumps
and branches and roots.

Up hills far to steep to ride,
down some that could make me scream,
sacrificing my little pride.

reaching escape velocity,
I shoot out of my comfort zone,
like a shuttle breaks into orbit,
I am the opposite of smooth...

Bumping over rocks and branches,
fast enough to immobilize me.
But I ride, petrified but not rigid,
over these rugged trails.

My knuckles wrap around my handlebars,
turning a ghoulish pearly white,
but it was a hidden by my ebony gloves.

I might as well be twisted,
but I wholly believe
that the fun part
was my stone cold fear.
To be perfectly honest, Cape Cod is not exactly that rugged, but behind a lot of those beautiful beaches are woods, and in the woods near where I live are some steep trails that are very twisty and turny, and I found out they are fun and scary to bike down. I decided since I was stupid, to try some new trails that I have never walked... I almost flew off my bike from hitting fallen logs a couple of times. But it is fun, if anyone is somewhat fit, they should try biking on trails.
Ayn Jul 2020
Why should I let you
Wind up my dreams for me?
Why should I follow through,
If you won’t let me be free?

The trees sit through health and blight,
The forest sits among the trees,
But I could never see the sight
Because you dropped me on my knees.

You promise salvation
But you’ve led me too deep,
And I know, with trepidation,
That the only salvation is in my sleep

Why should I let you be the light
When I only see you as a blight?
It’s not a message to the sandman, but it kinda involves the sandman. It’s 2:30am and I need to get to sleep. Nice talking to you all again!
Ayn Dec 2019
I went to heaven once, a beautiful place I do say.
Found God in a palace overlooking an ocean bay.

I inquired him of all his actions and choices;
How he could've let death take away so many beautiful voices.

God gazed at me with a strange glint in his eyes.
He then chose another bad choice, but one devoid of lies.

God bestowed his divine knowledge upon me, but the words made me rather blue...
"I shoulda made a sandwich insteada makin' you."
It is just a joke, please don't take offense...
Using God's words: I shoulda did my math work insteada writin' 3 poems today.
Anyways, hope you liked my attempt at comedy.
Ayn Feb 2020
Never judge a book
By its cover
But your look
Is so loud,
You’ve become an audiobook.
Everyone was an audiobook to me, then I realized that their audio was what my mind wanted them to sound out. Not all popular people are ******* that make your life worse than death.
Ayn Dec 2020
The years won’t testify
The light I’ve lit.
Standing off the edge
And rusting into oblivion,
I stand, united in my scream;
It’s the only way I am whole
I wrote this when? A week or so ago? ***? These emotion thingys are weird.
Ayn Feb 2020
Within my own little satellite,
I ward off the flowing tide.
When the tide falls,
I am beached, exposed.

In my bubble,
My solemnly solitary silence
Screams unspoken insults,
Hoping for me to step outside
And drown once more.

I want to open my door,
Especially when I’m with them,
But I always shut it more.
An unwanted reaction,
With fragmented reasoning.

Maybe they’ll step inside
And give me a hand.

Maybe I should just grow some fins.
If I actually couldn’t swim, that’d be pathetic. If you are landlocked, it’s perfectly reasonable, but I live a 5 min drive away from the ocean..
Ayn Aug 2020
One foot after the other,
Climbing up,
Higher and higher.
Until I fall into the sea
Of my own shame.

How long can I tread—
Acting live everything’s all right—
Before I drown?
Ayn Jan 2020
The suppression
left an impression
on my healing heart.
A closing hole,
a dented body,
a golden reality.
Release has come,
so I'll carefully
push the envelope,
and watch it bend.
Bending the envelope is fine, but don't break it. After all, tampering with the mail is a federal crime ;). Jan.10.2020. Release isn't talking about any bad habits, just for me dancing around my room to music bc I be very happy.
Ayn Feb 2020
The wind sneaks up on me,
And lightly caresses my body.
Hands so soft, yet so firm.

A kiss on the cheek,
And disappears once again,
Leaving me to wonder
If she ever missed me.
Ayn Mar 2022
The river flows forth,
Like a vermillion serpent,
Gliding effortlessly
Through the morning mist.
Ok so I thought about this one a bit. Idk if the meanings i used are poetry legal or not but we’ll see if the poetryFBI breaks down my door.

The serpent represents evil, and the red represents bad emotions. The serpent also represents rebirth or new life, which attributes to negative emotions cycling through my head over and over. The morning mist is what’s happening rn lol. 4am mood.
Ayn Feb 2020
Sitting in a throne of flame
Wondering what I could gain
By setting my mind alight,
Kindling my eyes with fire so bright.

Sending me flying off into
My world of unsurpassed vibrance,
Seeing if my will holds true
Through tests of strength and stance.

Off the precipice I fly,
Soaring yet higher into the sky.
A new world awaits my mind,
But for now, I’m soaring free and blind.
Now... where did I put that lighter...
I found the kindling... but not the ignition...
It always disappears when I want it most.
Ayn Mar 2020
The shadows drape their silky cloak
Upon a sleeping shoulder.
They’ll take their child’s arm
And drag him to the beholder.

The light grows brighter,
But his shoulders grow colder.
Ayn Jan 2020
As the walls come down,
There’s a look in your eyes;
My fear begins to freeze
As I recall all of those times
I shouldn’t have cried
And all of those times
I should have died.
But
I don’t mind,
Because you
Were so kind.
Inspired by the song “H.” by TOOL
Ayn Mar 2020
Betwixt these sheets,
I lie, ablaze.
In this blanket maze,
I run, deathless.
Hidden in vulnerable darkness,
I protect, ardently.
On my stomach, lying low,
I regret, somberly so.
Written in my notebook. March.3.2020 (0303.2020, almost like a mirror!)
Ayn Jan 2020
I know I’m Li’l late,
My love’s just a dying shield
That shelters my hate.
Input a but after ‘late’ and before ‘my’. Just my passing thought I had as the bags under my eyes grew... saggier i guess...
Ayn Jan 2020
Stepping out
Of the shadowed veil,
And Pulling off
The masquerade mask,
The sun beckons dawn forth.
Thought of while washing my hands. Odd time to think of poetry. Jan.10.2020
Ayn Apr 2021
Keep quiet,
Silence is your friend
And so am I.

Don’t listen to them,
They’re trying to stop you.
You’ll see this through.
That’s the one thing I’m sure you’ll do.

So shut up
And drive.
Only when far away,
Will you begin to thrive.
Ayn Dec 2019
Dec.28.2019

I feel sick.
The nauseating waves of emotion
flooding my body in one continuous motion,
as if it wants to drag me out to its seventh sea;
a glacially boiling reverie full of flash-frozen icicles.

The past five days have built block upon shadowed block,
and I'm losing sight of my own deceptively delusional reality.
Why have things taken such a sick and twisted turn towards my hell?
I want my ******* knife, I want to see my one and only solace,
I want to see my vibrant blood, full of self despising vigor.
...
Ayn Feb 2020
The wind has come back,
But I am vicariously feeling
Her whipping frustration.

A silently steady stream
Gusts her vile words
Into my whimpering ears.

I wish her hidden hands
Still held that feathered touch,
The likes of which held solace.

But now she bears her talons,
And is the striking hawk,
Aiming to blow my world over.
I never had an affair with with the rain. I’m not sure why she got so mad. This is a reason why relationships might not be good. What if my partner is paranoid about my interest in them?
Ayn Jun 2020
What lies in the eyes
That stand just out of sight?

The void is endless,
But who can see that far?

If one is set to leave,
Why bother looking back?

Just because you’re out of sight
Doesn’t mean you’ve left my mind too.
Ayn Jan 2022
Dawning on me
Like a red-stringed melody,
The sunrise of a new year
Beckoning new light
Into our lives.
Ayn Jul 2020
Maybe silence is what I need
A break, away from love and greed.

An obsession of possession
And a possession of obsession.

How much longer
Before I turn deaf
In the dimming static
Of this forsaken planet.
Ayn May 2020
Why should I speak,
If your flawless voice
resonates with the earth?
Why disrupt
The unparalleled song?
Your voice is the glassen sky,
To shatter the flow
Would surely be a crime.
When they wanted me to unmute myself, so they sang a song about it.
Ayn Feb 2020
The moon shines so brightly,
Sometimes I find myself
Looking at its beauty,
And stabbed through the heart.
An unexplainably ominous existence,
And an unrivaled luminescence.
My heartstrings tugged so far,
That they snapped into shreds.
The moon is beautiful in its own way.
Ayn Feb 2020
A morning dew greets the sun,
Forming crystal beads upon the grass.
As a courtesy to this rising flame,
And to that falling luminary,
The mountain brushes off the cool air,
Forming flavorless cotton candy
At its imposing base.

A darkened sky
Lightens up
As a bomb of color
Blows up the east,
Smearing the sky with color.
I remember the sights like these that I saw on the way to climb Mt. Washington back in August. I was a bit nervous at first bc it’s such a tall mountain and I was doing the second hardest route, but it was fun... and it absolutely killed my legs for the next 3 days.
Ayn Feb 2020
If I’m lost,
Then my past guides me.
The shadows of myself
That drag behind, free.

Following me
Out of our own volition,
I hope I may soon see
The beacon that envelopes thee.

The darkness by my side
Will dissipate into the light,
And I’ll traverse the night
with its absence at my right.
The word silhouette is a pain to spell. Took me 6 tries then a google search.
This is true though, when I don’t know what to do, I’ll look back, see what I did, then do the exact opposite, because I obviously didn’t do things right the first time.
Ayn Jun 2020
Two skies
sitting up high,
Fading.

Two suns
Watching them fall,
Laughing.

One world
Seeing the collapse,
Crying.
Inspiration from “Stealing Society” by System Of A Down.
Most people think I’m like some emo kid bc I listen to metal, but really it’s just the fact that fast music is the only thing that will get me up hopping around and singing. Any fast, dramatic instrumental is good too. (rap is slow, bgm wise)
Ayn Jan 2020
Teardrops streamin' down my face
the emotion explodes right up
tearin' open my weakened pride.

Turn off the sun,
pull the stars from the sky
the more I waste on you,
the more I cry.
I had no idea for a title, so I went with a sarcastic "slick..." Love is weird, sometimes I feel happy to have met her, sometimes I regret it.
Notes:
The first two lines can follow the tune to bites the dust (first two lines of the song
Second stanza (first two lines) is taken from a song, called The Perfect Drug by Nine Inch Nails. I really love that line, so I decided to use it.
Ayn Feb 2020
A silent slimmer
Of this silvery hope
Lies untainted,
untouched.
I see its natural beauty
through the crumbling wall,
Its reverent radiance
Residing upon my face,
Turning it into
The same silvery hope
That I am lucky to gaze upon.

This decrepit wall never needed
To come crashing and crumbling down,
I just needed to become the silver
That slips through its openings,
And rise into my rightful freedom.
Ayn May 2020
You can be the storm,
And destroy my world.
You can be the ashes,
Falling like stone.
There’s a world I own,
And a world you’ve flown.

You can be the feather
Of a flightful bird.
You can become the breeze
Of my heart’s summer.
A world that I’ll flower,
And a world you’ll enter.
Ayn Feb 2020
The moon slaps my face
With its brightly shining beams.
Now I remember that day
So many years ago,
When I feared the aliens there.
Now their existence
Is a mere fact of life.
I oftentimes see ppl with their social media accounts posted and stuff so imma post my only other social media account
orca#5802 (it’s a discord account)
Ayn Feb 2020
The words you uttered just now
Reminded me of the place
We went to a year ago.
I was much younger then,
Take me back to those days when
I was hopelessly in love with you.

Now, I cannot say the same is true.
I kinda wish I still felt the same about her. I mean I do, but it’s different..
Ayn Jan 2020
Have you ever felt
Like pushing down a friend
And kissing them senseless?

A regretful feeling,
As fleeting as the twilight sun,
Yet as memorable as the colors
That existed during that frame.

I still wish I acted differently,
I wish I acted without my inhibitors,
And sized my embarrassing moment,
Spending it on the floor with him.
Yes. True story, I don’t even like the dude like that, I never did. I wonder what would’ve happened if I did do that. The story is stored under a locked note on my phone and the title was the password. Christ this is some embarrassing ****... but I don’t know you people IRL so it’s ok...? Eh *** it’s not that bad.
Ayn Feb 2020
Whenever I have an exchange
with this quiet friend,
I can't help my incessant urge
to tease him once again.

His reactions lighten my mind,
and bloom flowers in my soul.

It is not a romantic attraction,
but he helps remove the dark,
a welcome distraction.
This is why I don't like love. I know I don't love him like I have liked other people (men and women) but I don't know what exactly these emotions are, they may or may not even be love tho. Same dude from the original Slop poem.
Ayn Feb 2020
No words come to mind,
None spin through my head.
Their sparking shine
Has turned to a dull sheen,
And I cannot form a line.

I am left inside of this slump,
And my mind cannot think,
So now it cannot gaze
Or even drink
The wine of my knowledge.
Wine aged for 16 years, sounds very old. In a slump and it *****. Writing this took out what was left in my head. I’m blaming my influenza.
Ayn May 2020
The cinders rise
In flumes of choking smoke
But refreshing rivers flow
And create my lifefull cloak.
The waterfall splashes
And cools the forest
Restoring what was lost.
Ayn Jun 2020
The flame,
long since thinned,
Snuffed out by the wind

Only ashes remain,
Set to rekindle their flame.

All it takes is a small spark
To set the world ablaze
And leave us all in the dark
Ayn Mar 2020
The cooling air
Calls in a darkened sky.
A soft rain hits with flair
And the clouds continue to cry.

A step of light,
A touch of flame.
A world so bright
Yet a world so tame.
Ayn Jan 2020
All of you precious people,
all you precious men and women:
do not fret or fear,
you are never alone.
Just as I am here,
someone is there.
Someone exists
to repair your breaking soul,
and help you rebuild yourself whole.

No matter who you are,
someone out there loves you.
You may not think this true,
so then keep living
and prove me wrong.
You'll realize I'm right before long.
For all those people who really need it. I wrote this with two people in mind. One of them is you, M. You know who you are. If you read this, please don't do anything rash.
Ayn Jul 2020
Sometimes
I’m living in my own shadow,
Pushed into what others see.

Sometimes
I’m sticking out like neon
In large groups of people.

Sometimes
I’m still holding on
To what’s long gone.

Sometimes
I forget to let go,
And my blood seeps
Into an outward flow.
Inspired by “I,” a song by Taproot
Ayn May 2020
As the feathers fall
I collect them in reams.
The songbirds play
In my greatest of dreams.
You’re always there, with me,
But when I awake
I remember it is never to be.
I love you. But “you” is a term relating to a person who won’t ever read this... or will they?? Who knows??
Ayn Jan 2020
Under my covers,
Hiding.
From what?
I have no clue.
Fear sets in
Like clouds of hail;
Slowly descending,
Then pelted with
Everlasting darkness.

My breathing is
R a g
g
e d.
My body is
R                
    I          
       G      
            I    
               D.
My breaths
Rise up faster,
Now plumes of
Burning lava.

There are more
Voices, not just
Mine
And
It’s
Voices,
But a couple more
Disembodied
Voices.
I know them,
But I also don’t.
They’re all so
D I S S A P O I N T E D
In the failure
That I’ve become.

I’m panting.
Why can’t I scream?
Why am I choking?
Am I breathing too fast?
Breaths keep coming,
My heart keeps beating,
More
And more
And more
And

M
O
R
E

Then nothing.

—————S P A C E—————

My breathing slows
My heart at a standstill,
I don’t know what’s happening,
So I just lay there,
Thinking about how
I wanted
a new me,
But not a me
That was
So very ****** up.
I never specified that...
What has become of me?
Me questioning what the actual **** just happened 10-15 minutes ago. I’ve never heard more than one other voice in my head, or have ever felt like this in general. I have no idea what the **** that was.
Jan.1.2020
Ayn Feb 2020
He appeared in the dead of night,
A specter emanating the deathly ice
And he stole out from all entities, a light.
Now the world was dark and cold, a paid price.
The ebon fauna was forever a blight,
Now the night had come, and death to its right.
Just read The Masque of The Red Death. That’s where my inspiration lies.
Ayn Feb 2020
Of all the colors
My eyes could be,
They pick three
And a fourth... maybe.

The first is an odd one
A hazel generalization,
But upon close inspection,
They have a green outer edge
With a brown inner edge.

The second one
Appears from time to time,
They shine a forest green
But there’s no more to be seen.

The final shade
Is quite a mysterious phenomenon
For my head to wrap around.
I’ve seen in my eyes
On a few occasions
And they were a naval steel,
Nothing like I’ve seen
In the eyes of those
Bound to me by blood.
My eyes are weird, man. The main color is supposedly hazel, but it is two different colors in concentric circles (that blend a bit but not too much). The steel blue is a mystery to me though. It’s happened twice.
Ayn May 2020
So many twists and turns,
Rocks in the road,
Broken bridges
Gapping broken land.
Maps never worked,
Nobody ever told me the direction.

Now it’s straightening out,
But I never saw the chasm.
You’ve left me to fall once more.
Is doubly in love even a thing?
Ayn Apr 2020
Embracing the colors
As they spin off the spiral,
Reaching out to touch my desires
And bring each little spectrum
Onto my monochromatic planet.

Spinning through my world
Like a brilliant top atop a table.
The spiral brings a blinding light
And preaches words of color like a fable.
I’m still tired. Wrote what came to mind. I didn’t edit this at all and I haven’t reread it yet. How is it?
Ayn Feb 2020
Spreading feet out to the side,
Digging into both worlds’ tides.
A fork in my path lies ahead,
And now the woods
Is full if razored briars.

One or the other,
A fundamental problem
Consisting of binary.

Zero is well known
And a trusted option.

One is new
And fills me with confliction.

So much controversy,
In this second wave,
But as long as I keep my wits
She won’t notice,
And I’ll be safe.
I **** at splits. I may be somewhat flexible, but I’m not that flexible. Kudos to any dudes who can do that.
Ayn Feb 2020
I’m happy, I continue to assure.
They all fell for my desperate lure.
It’s all a hopeless ploy; it’s all fake.
I’ve built my world upon this mask;
An ebon shell that’s about to break.
I mean everyone is oblivious right now. Moving further into life is climbing a steeper and steeper mountain. When do I get my rockface climbing equipment?
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