I am sorry for the words I say
When feeling down and blue
I only shout that I hate your guts
When I see you hate mine too
I am sorry for taking for granted
The little things done each day
Making food to cheer me up
Asking twice if I am okay
I am sorry for hurting your feelings
With selfish careless actions
I do not realize how harmful I can be
Until I witness your pained reactions
I am sorry for making you worry
Not listening to your advice
Blaming your flawed genetics
For the reason I'm colder than ice
You deserve a much better daughter
Who takes time to care
Someone not only always honest
But who also wants you to share

Hopefully
We live to see
The day I once again make you proud
I strive to grow
And be what you always hoped
Somehow

Until
That day arrives I will
Keep giving you what I can
You will be there every
Step of the way accepting me
For the miserable mess I am

I wish I was not beneath you
Wish I was what you desired
I guess of my bad habits
You are becoming tired
I wish I still felt pretty
Like I once did long ago
I wish you would do what’s best for you
We both know that means letting me go
I wish I deserved your love
Wish I was better than I am
I wish I cared about my well-being
But I cannot seem to give a ****
I wish it did not hurt so bad
Seeing that look upon your face
You look down on me as if
I am nothing but a disgrace
It must be really nice to be
As great and smart as you
Do you remember though
I used to be like that too?
Over the years I’ve changed
Because of the drugs
Felt so much pain
I’m not who I was
I do not know how I’ve become
The monster you now see
You could never hate anything
As fiercely as I hate me
I wish I didn’t disgust you
Though you have every right
I understand the reason you scowl
When I am a ****** disturbing sight
I apologize for every hurtful word I say
And repelling thing I do
I wish that who I am
Was enough for you

It only takes an instant to break
But a lifetime to completely heal
Pain will fade but never vanish fully
There will always be a trace of emotions we feel

Its been two years already
Didn't hear a word from you baby
Think we're good at ghosting each other
Or why wouldn't we hang out together?
Feels like there wasn't even a thing
Like all I felt or said went into nothing
How did all these moments just fade away?
Like it had never even existed?
It felt so real felt so lit
Little did I know
That it wasn't it
Anymore.