I am boundless
Caught between the void
My keys battered, my buttons stuck
I writhe in the space of not moving at all

I perch on the clouds and glass shimmers
from  the visage below
A dark bird in the sky mindless
Dreams, they float right by

We all feel the doom
The door creaked beyond.

returned to the same desk,
the same grindstone, the same thoughts,
cyclical patterns of thought and action,
but which comes first?

the will slips, the cracks widen,
and it all floods in, easier to understand,
caught within the same ropes,
you spun from woes of a broken past,

and they were meant to help climb out,
but the grease that bounds the threads,
cannot be grasped by those unresolved,
to the reality they crave most,

A quarter used to be a bag of chips,
days eye level with countertops,
2000 is a big number
when 5 is all you know,
maybe there's a one on the end like those twin towers,
and the falling man on the TV,

Or maybe it was blow up furniture in the shed with the hose on,
and a neighbor with a hose too,
He was kind, a big kid I didn't know,
Shrek plays on the TV, Only superstars
break the mold,

Mold in the basement,
dirt floor and the smell of summer fills my lungs
but then I'm on the bed with her, and The people's elbow
makes me laugh,
but feeling something else too, something
shameful like what's on the TV, on the TV there are those dead babies,

Dead people from the towers, I hear someone say
at the store, and I have a bag of chips, but my pants are down,
She te telling me to just watch wrestling and relax, but I just
want to know why,

Why am I 25 now but the hose and the wrestling, and the people, all those people on the TV, the twin dead ones,
it makes 25 feel like more
than just a bag of chips

If stories could write themselves,
would any of us be here?

The universe watches itself,
through our eyes,
catching us in illusions,
Separation is but a guise,

I feel like a different person than back then,
But I'm changed and I don't know when,
my personality shifted but here I am,
I need to stick to my guns, and my plans,

A miss a friend and he doesn't miss me,
A self-described narcissist, He moved to the other sea,
I'm not sure if he never thinks of me,
he does not message or call, He doesn't care at all
Best friends through high school, now in our twenties,
It's all so different, and I'm still stuck here,
without my own adventure,
without my best friend.

On my way I see
A pin-***** perimeter
For infinity

I'm going up the hill again,
The top is my destination,
Confronted with fleeting dreams of mesmerization,
The sky is clear but it feels like rain, soil gone too,
down the drain,

I've been here before, I can feel it,
Imprints of my feet, the ground steals it,
The sky is a blue hue I do not recognize
The stars look more like flies

I approach the top and something feels off,
Stress, anxiety, and vertigo on top,
I inhale but no relief comes,
Gravity is not for friends or fun,

I get the top and I can see the sky,
For a moment I feel like I can fly,
But I realize my deja vu the lack of serenity,
I'm at the bottom in an endless journey,

In a cage made of straw,
Walls cannot protect you,
To see your own fatal flaw,
Learn to smile through,

My lips hurt when I smile,
but you need to hide the space behind your face,
I'll resist until I am cold on the tile,
Revolving around the sun in this godforsaken place,

The sky is painted melancholy,
But you know no one else can see,
Still, you march on your way,
Back on your own into the sea,

If I follow the path I'm on,
My life is cheated like a con,
I fear the future is not bright,
I fear for my own gentle light,

My fight is thick with fears of doubt,
No, I don't want the easy way out,
I need to stay true to myself,
My needs aren't for anyone else,

I'm drowning inside myself, see?
This catastrophe is complete now,
There is no need to keep reading,
... or writing.

Twilight sets for rise,
The sun beckons, pride, and joy,
But still, new days set,

We're two feet apart,
So much sun intensely,
Need you in my arms.

I see words like sigils
Cast on a page of white
twenty-six ciphers can make
every thought you choose to take

They can do good or harm
By and for all of the people
Together collected cool, calm,'

but lethal

I see it in the distance,
While the air dampens on my neck,
I cannot find how to capture
My
Attention.

My eyes wander
My ears fall asleep
And for the first time
I see no one is alone
No one is together

The scent of grass squints my eyes
And I lay my head back
Green feathers beneath my head
Peace begets my loneliness

Eyes still shut I make music
With no sound at all,
I resist the urge
To take the fall

I don't know,
It has been too long now,
with the good still left undone,
I can never finish satisfied
With pride intact.

Feet of stone, how can I step forward?
I can see the faint cracks creeping up the sides,
There's moss, been there a while,
I lift my leg,  but there is only pain,

Bright rays of light warm my face,
and far off I can see the ocean,
I want to go there, everything
feels too dry,

my voice is sand falling out of my mouth
and raining down onto my feet
the sand climbs higher
and still....
I cannot move my feet

I felt the ground beneath me,
There was nothing at all,
I had nothing,
To stop the fall.

I could hear the shrieks,
of ghosts in time past,
I wonder how long,
they will last,

I could feel the breath of a slimy creature behind,
a conjure casted cat ran through my mind,
I thought of death and how my clock winds,
but alas, death leaves my contract left unsigned,

I opened my eyes, bright sun up above,
Startled, I jolted up with a buzz, gave my body a shove,
flowers on the ground spelled out love,
heat on my face I had nothing to speak of,

I took a long walk to understand,
what I thought was in the masterplan,
I sunk my toes in the dirt to feel the land,
I realized the plan isn't about my lifespan

The words we say are not the words we feel
their true meaning lies in a world so surreal
we use our mouths to convey a slice
of energy so warm and nice

but words are merely empty shells
our mouths sputter, our tongues propel
a piece of the meaning we wish to show
where we wish our mouths could only go

A million words like raindrops
forgotten regrets leak from the rooftop
of a home you knew long ago,
when the wind blew a different way,
and the stars cast a different gaze

There is a broken plate on the floor,
and her hat still hangs on the back
of that door, you wish you could walk through
but the air holds you back, a static attack
Nothing more with no one to talk to

A cold chill approaches again,
You pull up your collar with familiar disdain

The progressive flow of time
can never, ever unwind
don't think towards infinity
and degrade your own trinity

The title of alive is but a mask
finding your power is your true task
I look back and I realize now
why my depression screamed so loud

I wasn't true to myself
I could think of nothing, and nothing else
To regain my insanity, my dignity
Grow my resolve towards infinity

Staying up just to pass time,
Smoking too, drinking wine,
I can't feel so just say I'm fine,
I can't see where to draw my line,

I hope the future fixes my past,
but winged angels cannot affect from above,
and you need to find your own way, anyway,
you can't use this mortal life for such trivialities.
Focus deep, smile wide, drop your  elbows, new mentality

I haven't written in a while,
it's killing me, let it flow out,
can never let the tar be filling me,
Man, I can't even push out a smile,
not even for a little while,

I wish life was as easy as the movies,
Ace the test, get the job, it got through to me,
Can't let the matrix occupy my brain no more,
It's not paying rent or it duties,

I've got to bite the bullet and keep the finger's a'chuggin
I'm not gonna stop my INFP game, keep them sluggin'
I'm not here to impress a soul, just leave a mark
not many people reach out, the void is stark,

I'm not trying to sound preachy, but I always do
I see the faults within me, I hope you see yours too
I've got to move forward with some things in my way,
**** tomorrow, today is the day,

What's the thing you've been avoiding because familiarity,
breeds within you a false sense of clarity,
don't get caught in the rat trap of your matrix,
Focus, and fix your way out of this.

Shuffle forward into the next room,
tell me, what do you notice?
Curtains stained with wine on lonely nights,
when your hand could not steady your soul,
and a bit of wine or your soul, you're not sure,
spills onto the curtains you bought years ago,

They were yellow like you anyways,
and in this memory you see yourself pleading with god
"Help me" you beg, a whisper to the void
but you know no one can hear you
in locked dreams kept under your bed,
in dusty thoughts trapped in your head,

A man had a gun for a mouth,
and it was hard for him to see the safety,
his tongue only made things go south,
he could not reach,

He didn't have many friends,
those he did wore kevlar,
None would wait, in the end,
and he dug his own grave,

He worked alone for good reason,
his situation made teamwork unbearable,
he hunted when it was in season,
his mouth, the only thing needed,

He could score a date quite well,
women flocked to his sight,
"What a barrel!", his looks could sell,
conversation was never alright,

His wife was a shield, a maiden of honor,
they worked quite well, nail to hammer,
where she was his mouth, he was her bomber,
ready to strike at the first threat,

His child, the only love in his head,
at birth so strong,
his son had arms of lead,

What carries on is molded by the past,
the fruit grows and ripens,
Until it meets it's last
moment here and the gun gets dim,
God is the creator, but death always wins

Floating on an endless ocean,
clear skies all around,
east, paradise awaits,
below, endless sin,

The apathetic soul does not fret,
closes it's eyes and awaits fate,
because the future is not set,
and it is never too late,

The apathetic soul knows,
but does not care it,
looks but chooses not to see,
the tentacles creeping from below,
slowly wrapping themselves around
the hands, digging teeth into flesh

Soul can feel a tug, sinking in disregard,
it can hear the echos of the eastern haven,
but the sounds of bubbling water feel warm,
against its eardrums,

when eyes open they realize
mistakes of the past cannot be changed,
when you're at the bottom of the ocean
waiting to breathe

If the shoe fits,
wear it case you're thoughts,
they can't bear it,

You can call it quits
take a breathe, your mind is taught,
taught well and learn'd hard,
A lifetime ago, terrible fits,
Now you know the crow,

The one that talked to you on lonely nights,
the one that walked you through all the fright,
taught you might,
and now you know the way might be winding,
but the wind can't stop you,

The crow chases with a frown, but he seems so far away,
and the cloud guides you both to the new tomorrow,
but you free yourself from yesterday, and its in your head,
you know it, you lose it, and you never choose it,
but it finds you,

and now you're off track,
bring it back,
no heart attacks,
let's put the pen down and unwind,
we'll all be gone in no time.

My eyes Crack like dried paper,
onto the desk at 4 am,
I'm not sure if my maker,
is a lion or a lamb,

Stuck between the present,
and the task at hand,
life is rarely pleasant,
when you can see through the sham,

I open the window, ash seeps in,
I can never duck get win,
Friends, my patience is wearing thin,
I know there's places I've been,

Not in the linear fashion of thought,
but inside the sky of my minds eye,

past, present future,
everything that can't be bought

Amber is the color of your energy,
I know I understand you,
bonded from paternal love, so naturally,
A soft melody, Your reasons, a lot of,
times you learned, fueled by experience,
your guidance for me, it's furious,

You're gone now, with a part of me
We can't find common ground,
we agree to burn it down,
We play it like a game,
Too late, we realize that's lame,

the needing in our compass is trembling,
your words hurt, an eminent sting,
Now I see all the futility,
of resisting all these jaded realities,

Don't burn what can't be rebuilt,
your mind is a million miles away,
your heart in the same place,
fix the day, before you separate,

Now I've hit the ground running,
these lessons I find so cunning,
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin,
The water is getting warm, go ahead, swim,

I miss you dad, and this is how I say
goodbye, I know you cannot stay,
The years start coming, and they don't stop,
Anxiety's the worry on top,
I know I let you down,
but I'm just a slave to the night,

I know I gave you hell through the years,
I know you've shed countless tears,
and I know you have countless tears.

But now there's a single truth.
There's you in everything I do,

Silence cannot heal
Break the void with your own voice
Now light your own path

Out by the Strange Creek a little drunk,
I built a tower of stone, an imaginary throne,
I pondered of power and sat on a stump,
The moon hung like an old friend from up above,

There were many around, laughing and happy,
A few on the guitar sounded a little sappy,
Tents dotted the river, and I dipped my tows in the sand,
The stars up above illuminated the camp but not the bands,

Too many drugs made there way around,
back in the woods everyone gathered around a stage,
and jammed the music, they blazed,
for themselves, their future, but mostly the present,
Their bodies swayed, in a daze,

Acid, ****, liquor and E
Oh boy, it was a party,
but the last bit of my sober self,
turned inwards and the whole of me felt,
the seven chakras flowing through me,
connecting me to infinity,

We partied for three days, acid babies littered the place,
We drank for our mistakes, and listened to The Machine,
The wall flowing through me,
We freed our bodies, and our souls to the void,
On the last night we were over joyed,
But now that I'm leaving I feel it slipping away

My crown chakra back into the haze,
My mind's eye back into a cage,
My throat chakra back underneath,
My heart chakra feels only grief,
My solar plexus can't handle a nexus,
My sacral is fine though, trust me,
But my roots,

They don't even trust me

If I'm a failure
When does success supersede?
My heart is broken

Starry Night

We've known your gaze for too long
you reach out to us, whispers in the wind
you can hear our hearts as Earth breathes
We can taste your lips when the air is crisp

and we know your comfort when we turn to the
moon

The United States
Once, we thought we were so great
But this election....

when nothing goes right,
do not ***** your gentle light,
If you look deep inside the flame,
you will know you are not to blame,

people make mistakes, alright?
you have to keep going in your fight,
life is not a soft, promising flight,
it bounces and changes in unexpected ways,

don't fight the flow, everything will be just fine
you will always shine, on all of these days

Why do I feel so alone?
And like my live is not sovereign, or my own?
Why do I waste my time typing these words away?
When my mind only bends and sways,
I find myself in dismay.

I feel trapped in a life unwanted,
Like I was rushed here and my time stunted,
there's a sea of consciousness none of us know,
It rests quietly, waiting patiently below.

I lost the ability to cry,
and in it's place I can fly,
I've held on to my depression,
and all I can feel is regression.

we're bombarded by the American Dream
but what we fail to realize
is that to dream, you have to be asleep
but remember, your soul is your own to keep

False consciousness runs rampant through the world
Ninety percent of American media owned by the same
five companies makes TV and the news seem so mundane
but when I think, I realize it's all of us to blame

the only power the system has is what we give
we need to let go of hate, and let live
when in Rome you step outside your comfort zone,
and when you expand your horizons,
the whole world can make you feel alone,

what I've come to realize is there is so much more than this
when we die all of our fear gives way to bliss
and on that spiritual transformation we can let go of what we miss
In each of our crowns lies the infinite
and we know that it doesn't matter, all the petty ****

According to Marx, economy is the root of society
and in capitalism, our thirst for money is ironic and funny
We seek to provide for ourselves and those we love
but when we have to much, the hand doesn't fit the glove

In every cellphone, laptop, and gaming device
lies a mineral mined behind our blind eyes
tantalum is mined in the Congo, and in 2000
people were forced from their poor housing
to mine this mineral so you and I
could get a ps2 from Santa, while they barely got by

I've learned even the poorest here,
Have opportunities barely realized,
We can change the world if we dismantle disguise
There is a balance for everything,

You can't have capitalism without socialism,
our social structure is but a prism

The first time it happened,
I was young and free,
And then all at once I
could see the universe before me

The second time was not clear,
and there was a foul mist,
A smell and look drenched in fear
And still, it cannot compare to the third

She flew away on that cumbersome day
the wind carried her like an angel
she looked back, but her smile was tucked
under the curtains of pale moonlight

And in the sunset I saw the truth
It all depends on you
We're all floating through space
beings created on an organic shuttle
With only faith leading the way

I can pour my words onto paper
like a storm washing salty ocean spray
onto a boat that's ready to break
I can lt everyone know how I am feeling
when I come here, and resort to this place,

my friends are all gone if they were ever there
and that's okay because like a phoenix I can rise
from the ashes of broken friendships
and move on to bigger and better things

I can't beat myself up for what I can't control
and if someone wants to run from a problem
that's their choice. They're going to miss
all of the places you'll see

Stay true to yourself always, and never let up
The storm will rage on, with a friend or not,
and when you have to tackle it alone,
They can't wear your boots
They can't steady your feet

Being drunk only helps
To relate to the feelings within
Self loathing is wrapped around me
Like the blanket of a believer

There's only one thing to say
When my heart yearns like today
Believing doesn't help the healing
Everything finds its meaning

The act of desecration is liberating
But self hate is devistating
I can't feel my heart
I hope it hasn't fallen apart

To know us to let go of all
With my drugs I hope to have a ball
But time passes so slow
It all disintegrates with a revolutionary flow

You're sitting across the table,
Even if I wanted to look away, I'm unable,
The thought of meeting you again fills me with joy,
My body is play dough, and my mind insanely coy,

I've searched for a long time for you,
On winter nights alone, with ice in my shoe
On spring days with friends, never wanting it to end,
I could search forever, my time well spent

For you're the only thing to make me happy,
You're familiar, nothing is off or ******,
You look less foreign than I originally conceived,
I thank the heavens I no longer need my grief,

Like I said you're right in front of my figure,
but when I reach out, you're 1000 times bigger,
There is no way we fit together,
but when you hold me your love is so tender,

You must be a mirage, oh Narcissus
You must be imagined, a sorceress,
There's an end to this game you play, oh give me a taste
It's staring me right in the face

I fell like there's more words in the English language
than there are brain cells
in my decrepit body
what do you call
the feeling of longing
for something that you never
have seen or expirienced in you whole life?

Why do people strive to be prosperous,
but not help those in need?
I think too much,
for my own good,
and I should let
my poisions do their job,
and take me out of this world
and into Nirvana

but a madman can spout all he wants
and his words mean nothing
we are all saying the same words
thinking we are unique in our presentation,
but this has all been done before
we are another act to the play
that hides the truth in
the rafters and very soon
curtain call will destroy us all

I arrived on a date unknown
my body lay cold, dead and alone,
I can't recall the events of how I fell,
I just am thankful I'm not in hell,

I don't know where I am, however,
The sky is a beautiful blue, and oh my, the weather,
but I cannot find another soul,
My chest tightens, and my heart feels like coal,

It's black as the night, but I'm basking in light,
I can't give up my fight,
and when the final tear is shed, I just might,
So instead I will live here in delight,

So If I can not a person among these oceans, stars, earth and snow,
Where did they all go? Oh my, what if they are below?

Recently, I've come to think I have ADD
Definitely, it's in the open, plain to see
As a child I found life hell,
The gears kept twisting, spouting some scandalous lies
My mind just raced no matter what,
Its true what they say, kids are mean, nasty, and cruel,
If I could go back, I'd say "know your heart is true",

I remember the Moose I saw, up in old Maine,
We were all in a cabin, I loved the soft rain,
Four generations, all as one,
Lived simply together, I remember our song,
We sung once when a fox poked up,
Out of the brush, we hushed and cooed out of sight,
And it stared with green eyes, and in there flared fiery fight,

I can remember the beach my favorite time,
I put my toes in cool sand, a feel that is sublime
The sand was so white,
It was just right for fireworks that starry night,
I can't imagine,
what would be better than warm water, Old Silver
is a beach where I would stay for meditation

Remembering the smell of the gross chemicals,
I sprayed at an abandoned night club, stomach full,
Of ***** I once stole,
from the cupboard where I wasn't supposed to go,
I could feel my soul,
When I climbed onto the roof, I could feel the weight,
When I sat on the edge, in front lay a beautiful city,
'
Recently, I've come to think I have ADD
Definitely, it's in the open, plain to see
And to this day I find life hell,
The gears kept twisting, spouting some scandalous lies
My mind still races no matter what,
Its true what they say, life is mean, nasty, and cruel,
If I could go back, I'd say "know your heart is true",

I'll keep the lights on in this place,
I'll sit here in the dark forever if its the case,
but I know you'll be back soon,
When I call we both know its a harpoon,

The walls will dry and crack,
this is where you bring me for a panic attack,
I have felt worthless for so long,
I have lost interest in any game or song,

No I think I'll retreat back to that room to be alone,
In there my voice is nothing but calm in its tone,
I know its not the place that I wish to stay,
but time and time again the world is too **** gray,

I watch it all move and twist about,
my insides screaming, my skin crawls and I want to shout,
But the camera's shutter moves to slow,
and the world slows down to a snail's flow,

I never talked about the way I felt
except in that room, where my heart could melt,
and words can flow there like a summer's breeze,
so I regress back to that room with ease,

I'm sorry to make you read anymore,
If the windows crack I need you to shut the door,
I don't bring anyone else here,
I've lived my whole life in fear,

I need to break out and make anew,
before my youth slows to a crawl, and then it's through
If I think anymore, my brain will implode,
like a black hole, it's another episode

Inside I scream, my skin crawls, I want to shout
**Please depression, just let me out

I prayed for rain fall for 100 years and not a drop fell,
Through the kingdom grew our depleted wells,
Of knowledge and virtue, a gift so strong,
And the mystics preach their ageless songs,

We wither, wasting away under the dim lit fog,
They are to us as we to a dog,
The stars are blackened by wrath of gods,
the world is trapped in mother's jaws,

Her nature is that of the beast,
Her carnage crosses due east,
I pray for help on the beach,
Coals of hell will burn their feet,

So help your neighbor for he is you,
And believe in yourself and those around you,
and take care of anyone near the end,
Because sometimes we too are close to the bend,

From a young age it's followed me,
with a scrunched back and a shrouded face
like a shadow
it watched me write alone behind the dumpster
cross streets when cars came,
and that time I played chicken it was there to comfort me

My life is the lamest tragedy
I walk this lonely road,
the only one I have ever known
and greenday got me through it back then
but now it all falls apart

we're apart and I don't think there's a remedy
alone through this life is the way I ride
and it may be the last time tonight

I write because no one listened
maybe I'm too emotional
my psyche has gotten out of control
tentacles reach from memories buried
and they come forth to haunt me

I just feel empty like a deflated balloon
used up, thrown out, and so **** blue
I can try to put light where there is darkness
but there hasn't been any light for me

So I will sit here alone at my desk in contemplation
I don't think it will help but I've been
my own company for far too long
so much that I stopped singing my song.