Spiny jellyfish
Tucked in her curves
Twinkles her tentacles
At the sun
Rising with the waves
That make her go every which way
To the east or to the west
She just goes with the flow
Letting the current pull her through
The oceans pressure and blow holes
Spineless jellyfish
Drifts through the waters,
To the left and to the right
And floats with the waves
In an endless sea of time

My eyes are black holes
Dead, deceased
An ecosystem of decay
a habitat for shattered souls

My eyes are lifeless
Lack luster
Sparkled out
Behind the wall, we are falling
Banging out our heads and hearts against doors off hinges
Against some mad buggers intuitions

Do you ever feel so ugly in your own skin?
Where you pinch and grab at your physical reasons to hate yourself
All the taunts and cruel phrases relive in your jiggles
You fad diet yourself into comfort,
Only to be reminded of your deep scars as you catch a glimpse in the reflection
You strive for societal perfection as you let yourself slip into a cracked version of someone you were
The fear that happiness is gone for good
And this is all that's left

Make up, on silk clothes
And those crazy one stand offs
And the times of soggy sandwhiches
And the years in our hair,
Could have been the tears from our tongues

The thing that conquers me the most
Is the things we cannot achieve,
The notches in and under our sleeves
The nights we conceive, the things we never need
The winds and the trees,
Its time to remember, nights like these

The cocktail dress split hope down the screen
Letting that reoccurring dream compel me
Into memories of you
The clink of my cup
Shattered sobriety with the pain of daybreak
The ice looks like crystal but only something that will disappear and overflow your glass is standing at attention
The bar stool cracked, empty and the faux leather ripped, and torn
Cougars and MILFs strut down the bar top
Scanning tonight’s bachelors
I sit behind, for my dress is long and flannel
Heavy, hot making me sweat and stink
I run faster than a cheetah in my mind
Tearing doors and bridges apart
Speeding towards the sunrise
Attempting for the *** of gold
The cocktail drips from the table on to the floor
A puddle I will eventually slip from
Hair in my face
My ankle sundress reaped with alcohol
I stand up, look around
Towel?
But all I see is you
Walking back slowly retreating to the door
Leaving me to deal and regret the decisions
I so poorly execute

Your life consists of working hard hours, for not enough pay, hard days
Good, great people
But nothingness consoles you at the end of the day
Nothing to live for and nothing to fight for
You have become a waste of space
You don't contribute
You second guess
You

All the time fighting the same battles
Your heart, your tongue, and your liver, your mind set and your waist line
You are so far removed what you wanted ten years ago

Fell into a pattern of pay cheque to pay cheque

Living through decisions and then later, they're regrets

You need a huge change. It is scary, but dockside was the best decision you have ever made

Step outside, from your shredded sheltered comfort zone, and branch out a little more

Do what you always knew you were born to do!

Go take photographs, that mean something

Make your life important again

Not another bottle and not another regret

Do what you want to do!

Go to war, take pictures

Make your life mean something

The static ghost beneath the rainbow
Creeps patiently towards the house on the right
The sun sets with a mild thunderstorm
And the rain crushes the leaves on the trees
Take shelter in the garage. Ill watch from the window
The wind rattling the closed down doors
The marijuana we smoked; heightens hometown weather patterns
As I stare out the glass towards the driveway

We are distracted by reality shows
And the newest iPod or MacBook
Spell check even corrects the ipod to iPod
Materialism will be the end of our freedom
And the dependence on consumer products and imported goods
Technically, Technology is a blessing and a curse
Memories of the good ol’ days will die
Hard

I’m not a **** I'm reckless
Im not a *****, I am confused
Pulling at strings
Grasping for an out
Trying to figure out, up from left
Wondering if birds are truly free?
Or if they’re chained to the sky
Like that one guy said

This world I see before me
Full of flowers and blossom trees
Sometimes these nights get so dry
Watching the stars go by

Twisted bones and a twist of luck
Never wanted this all that much
Reach for the stars and youll land on the moon
Its time for my dreams to start coming true  

Another day spent getting up before dawn
Attempting to be perfect, two hours later its wrong
Breaking bones burning skin
And one year later, I am still not fitting in

I want to work for my silver lining
So tired of cooking, all it was, was timing
Step outside the comfort zone,
I wont take the easy road

Pick up the pen, put down the spoon
Writing before dawn, still going around noon
This is what I want to do,
Its time for my dreams to start coming true

****** window screens and
Spray-painted limousines
Broken fingernails
Collecting dust in water pails
Chewed mosquito bites,
Lurking men of the night
Procession of death,
Headaches and shortness of breath
Physical or mental abuse,
Which road will you choose?
Abstinence with a keyhole of trust,
Unknown of love, engulfed in lust
Short distance and reoccurring sunsets,
a sunrise of jealously paired with eternal fret
Frustration, confusion, nothing less,
Hope is lost as you fail that test
Life mirrors’ a repetitive game
No purpose just filled with hallow halls and shame

Golf clubs for fists
And hockey sticks for machetes
In this world, anything will print you for the records
And violence can be picked up at your local 99 cent store
And charged to a players club card
As cancer is an entree for your 6 course 5 star meal
And smoke stacks are sold in 20 and 25

Another toothpick lined up for check-up

Love & Illusion, do you know in magic?
Do you think that we could be more than tragic?
Bartender, pour me another
I see you, seeing me
Buy me another shot
And lets try this another time, Ill be here waiting for this to start
The past is all over and over
My heart still beats the same
But not for you
Bartender give me another number

Someone is calling for me
When i close my eyes it sounds like you
Across the room, I see you
Seeing me too

Pour me another glass
I am stuck on this stool, until you tell me to go
But i am stuck staring at you

Don't leave me alone, in this bar
It doesn't seem that wrong
If you could take me home

It is funny how we can get to be ourselves with strangers
Our complete truest version of us
No guards up and no painted window panes
To be able to stare through, untainted reflections

Our deep dark secrets and or biggest fears
To confess them in rapid succession
And not feel the need to hold back

It is funny, how we need to hide away ourselves
From the ones who love and know us best
Constantly dancing around the fullest truth of truths

Strangers don't know us, nor do they probably even care
The obligatory third party
Just sit and listen

Let the masks drop, and the honestly flourish
Online profiles make for free therapy
And self awareness

My mind worries, as my hands shake
I am a hamster in this wheel, running this race
The pace is quickening as my feet tap and tip
The cage is broken
As I become freed from this ****
The world is hollow
Cold and unforgiving
Outside of my cell
The ******* keep on living
Their teeth never clench
Their palms never shake
They just keep on walking
But never quicken their pace
My race quickens
As my blood pumps
My veins replace the oxygen
As the arteries gather the chunks

Never Neverland is the place where dreams come true
Where you don’t have to be serious, don’t have to grow up
Where Peter is the one to follow and ensures that the everlasting imagination is forever
You can run around in your underwear and no one would notice,
Go get worms by the fireside and tell them to come play
Astronauts, doctors, photographers are all dreams reachable
In Never Neverland you are safe from teenagers torment
Or weight weighing you down, every time you count the calories of a *******
Never Neverland is a place of wonder, a place of intrigue
And where memories don’t fade, everything is everything
And everyone is part of some huge inner circle
Giggling and building forts

I think too much about this Lego House
And that the life I am leading is causing me the strife I deal with today
I feel too much, take everything in and store it,
Never let it surface
I hate conflict and fighting but it's taking over the vacant parts of me
And I am boiling over because of petty things
I feel it all, these houses and these walls
I want to slam this door shut
Watch the timber snap
The trap door to freedom
But I can't find an exit
Bursting to find an out
I am locked in these cages of 1556

Blackbird singing in the dead of night,  
Raven calling from the sky
Bluebirds calling from summer
Seagulls squawking from the alley

I have found something I lost
The state of euphoria is crumbled as your heart breaks
I lost a time when life was simple, when wondering was lustful
Instead found a time of hardship and unsettled communities
Sometimes I think what if the yellow brick road never continued to Oz
And if the clouds were always supported by blue
Californication with out the fault.
A witness to the empty sky

well, time to time
i think if, maybe our timing was wrong
if, we both needed to grow,
and be on our own

from time to time, i think this is so

and you know my funeral song
and, i, know your favourite show

oh, if knew only know
that i, i am waiting
for you to come home

Do you ever want the best for me?
Ever realize, that I struggle with emotions,
With being out in reality, with interactions of strangers and foe
I put my cards in one basket, twice.
They bluffed.

Would you?
Call mine?

The record subtly spinning,
Music has always accompanied my psychosis
Makes me feel tall.
Just the interior monologue of my youth and the days I was never around

I’m all full
Filled up with yesterdays
And regrets

Where is my hero?
To save me from tears and blankets
To hold my hand when I sleep,
And make sure I believe in Ever After

Flowers you have ruin my towers
My towers above chivalry and chauvinistic ideals
They push out the prohibitions of useless propaganda
For me, alcoholic toxins appeal to my lyrical woes
I think ambiguously when I feel numb and freed of obligations
And the curls of my toes,
Don’t wrinkle with the ties of man

I am hopeful now
Walking the seawall straightens me out
The clouds and the waters
One foot in front of the other

Walking the seawall
To my day to day
The choices I've made

One foot in front of the other
Dogs on leashes
Babies in strollers
Or on daddies in front

The seawall
Windy and peaceful
One foot in front of the other

Birds eat
Fresh crab meat
The circle of life
Tug of war
One foot in front of the other

Runners run.
Cyclists, bike
Childs play

The walk to work
One foot in front of the other

The picnic bench foils under the body weight of my half drunk self
There is a cat cuddling up to me, with her tail

Pink Floyd plays in the background, as the cat brushes up against my legs
Brings a feeling like something of the loch ness Nessie

Shirley sits beside me, watching the night sky
And focussing on my presence and cigarette smoke

I pet her, and she stays
Smoke and inhale
The cars bustle by

The final places of another busy day
The wall is built and she stays beside me

But she now has disappeared
Inhale, exhale
Smoke my smoke
And drink my 4th beer

When you spend all your money
And people crowd around
And pull your phone
Girls night out
And your best friend is talking to her boyfriend
And you're standing alone
Seems to be the only thing you've known
Roxy Cabaret  Sundays
Holding your bottle and facing these demons
As you're friends forget you're home
The country beat drops and
You still feel too drunk to be this alone

You broke my heart, and you didn't even know why, I refused to tell you, because, I thought you should see, a glimpse, of what my perspective, could, would be. But you didn't, and I grew distance, I love feircely, but you hurt me. When I cried for help you straight up, didn't show up, and abandoned me. You hurt me, you are my sister, and let a great man, block you, of your sight to see, your best friend, was in her greatest time of need; you are selfish you see, your happiness and sense of wonderness, blinded your understanding, that I just wanted a place to land, some kind of familiar ground, to have a shoulder, to cry on, and lie down,

I love you, but no words, right now, suite you,
And I have been so close to you

I need a chance to be on my own,
Play rummy, and carry on

You made a fool out of me,
Showed me how to dance
And watched me fall

Ill just wake up with the sun
I appreciate the effort
The sad sign of romance
The trueness of a goodnight kiss
Goodnight my chivalry




The vagabond is striking matches
The harmonica wont squeal the way it should
It wont hmm the way it did
The music has changed


The music had changed

Love is a fickle thing,
It’s all around, in the small details
Sometimes it’s just a bit harder to find for some people
But it is there, hiding in the bushes or underneath your pride and fear

I found out, you got to let it find you,
You cannot go look for it; it doesn’t quite work that way
It finds you when you need it too

When you’re ready to be yourself and comfortable in your own skin
It will find you then

When you least expect it, it will creep up on you
And life as you know it will be over

Hopelessly romantically over
Love actually does exist

Couple to help me fall asleep
Couple to make me less socially awkward
Couple because it's something to pass the time
To help unwind

Loud people yelling in kingsgate
Then the faint stare of nighttime noises
Dog chains, house keys
Then nothing

City silence
Ambient sounds
Quarter to one
Bikes are closer than the cars

Smoking my last cigarette
The city bows out
A well oiled machine
Inhale, exhale now

The nights are few and scattered
The memories last forever
I cant seem to want to stop
Listening to your tune
Replaying it,
Over and over
Thinking if I wish it will be different
Something could from silence
But I know that’s just wishing on a lucky pair of snake eyes
I don’t gamble,
But I just cannot seem to let the object of my affection
Reach anywhere but you

He goes to the basement, without a word he flys
To grab a sufficent sourse of numbness
To write freely and speak not so clearly
But to engage of times of the unknown and times of Modern times
The weather tide, the things of our demise
And the music rides, and the glass clinks
Goodbye to on time
hello to sweet dreams highs

Rummy is a card game
*** isn't for the hard weak
It's not win to fame when you're
Slugging back ***

It's not fun, it gags and try's to overthrow your reflexes
To misconcept your reasons
Why *** is for pirates and not for mere kitchen writers

Merry Christmas, you filthy animal
Here is a scarf to pay your rent
And some of this seasons slippers to eat
You had the world within your grip: I gave it to you
Why bother with education, you just graduated
Just so you know, I wont help you and you’ll never leave
You’ll never make it, Mary has been nothing but nice to you
You are welcome to come down and eat with us

*That wont be an awkward conversation

Times flies as the petals fade to bloom
When the lavender stains the mist scented
The aroma will polish your fantasies purple
And send your souvenirs to dust
Leaving you winded,
   and alone

After another 10 hour day, excluding transit
I find myself 2 marijuana puff puff passes
Past the record spinning, and the words of Stevie and Lindsay
Speak past the first brain and well into the second one,
Causing my unconsciousness to sweat and wilt to the sounds of love and tragedy
Another days' end come to a close, as I wind down with a couple PBRs, The sound of the 70's,
And the soon romantic encounter with sleep

The day is,

Waiting for tomorrow

The moon is so bright tonight
The black velvet sheet of the night
is riddled with stars

Patiently waiting, for lightyears to come
For us to see the stars light fade
Until we can not wish upon them
And the sky is sure to turn to shade

Go to bed Adelle
It's 20 to 4, in the morning Adelle
Smoke this cigarette, Adelle
You're drunk, Adelle
Sipping red wine, Adelle
What are you doing, Adelle?

Hiding with bottles, Adelle
Smoking bongs, Adelle
Playing denial, like a game, Adelle

It's only you, Adelle
Trust and all that ****, you, Adelle
Be you, Adelle

Smoke that smoke, Adelle
Drink that glass of wine, Adelle

Just don't go crazy, Adelle

Be yourself, Adelle

Learn your limits, and stay with in it, Adelle

You should probably sleep, Adelle

Watch jersey shore, and pass out,  Adelle

All my cigarettes cant create all these moments that I crave
The smoked out thoughts, and careless talks
Leaves me breathless, in the kitchen

You never see what I want to show
All the taped up glass, masking the broken teacups
The roads unlit, the day sweeps into dusk
Alone in my self;
crowded with all these cracked dishes

Never able to let the cloth catch the dust
The last meal, has reached the minute hand
Through the window, a single star staring
Watching me inhale, as the smoke covers the broken cups

You made me fall in love with you
You made me fall in love with me
You got under my skin
You got into my head
I told you I would run
Run far, far away
I did
Twice
And now the phones are dead
Communication broke down
A mistake that’s not fixed
A sorry just will not break through
Something that only music heals
Something that can not be fixed
I really wish you were here
I wish it went down differently
I wish I could just walk to your door
And just kiss you, before you had time to shut it in my face
But I have to stop thinking about you
I HAVE to get you to go away now
Put you into a tiny box and forget you
But I cant
I just cant
And Facebook is asking if I want to be your friend

I thought this was over
I never think to bring it up
I buried it down sealed the coffin and tied it up
I didn’t think that it would come back
Out of nowhere, and in class
I didn’t think you were still on top of me

I don’t remember it
So, I tell myself it didn’t matter
I don’t remember, so it didn’t happen

11 years later, and I didn’t say yes
11 years later, I didn’t give you consent
you took my innocence from me that night
while my friends continued to forget, you put me to bed

I feel ashamed, that you got away with it
That after you were done with me, she laid with you next
16 never felt like yesterday until this morning

11 years and you still haunt me
I never talk about it, I never remember it
Because I didn’t remember
You violated my sunflower
You made me broken

11 years later, I still didn’t say yes
11 years later, I never gave consent

It hits me out of nowhere
All of a sudden this overwhelming sadness takes over
And crashes in to me
I feel depressed and hopeless
I feel numb again
My knees go weak
And I am kneeling on the floor
Crying into your sweater
Wishing I could change my story
But this is no invisible ink
And life is no storybook

When you have no pockets to put your lighters in
And your nails are too long,
You find yourself on the balcony staring off
Staring off into the night sky

That soft, deep sea blue cast across your skyline

You catch a thought,
You think,
The simple things,
A glowing read star, could be mars

The thoughts I think, Smoking on my balcony

I am trying to sleep, but I can't sleep
My mind is caught up with the last words you said to me,
You put phrases into my mouth, words that were never said
Your tunnel vision has you confused and misled

I wish I could find humour in how you shifted
Changed the song and left me alone
Everyone leaves me in slime
To fight off the dogs with a dull knife
A stitched up heart muscle

I really never thought, you would be the one whose hands, the blood was on
I thought those couple hours I needed you would be enough
They would have

If you even bothered to show up

What if I was waldo?
You would search page after page
Studying a painted picture
To find where I stand
Who would notice my stripes?
And trace their finger to meet bones
Or would you be that intolerable Attention Deficit Disordered kid
Who threw the paperbacks towards the wall
Because you couldn’t find me?
Do I still bother you, long after the freedoms of childhood are over?
If you found me on one page, who would quit
Who would keep searching?
Would you find my red shaggy cap
And throw in the towel
End that game of monopoly
Because it has already taken up much too much of your week
And your time
Who would stare.
Let the people and places blend into one
As if we were all waldo
Trying to be found

Phantom butterflies attempt to defile metal
Pour gasoline on the cultures masquerade
Eat the remains of a tainted youth’s rebellion
While their wings collapse and rip the law
Of reason apart
Mocking their majesties’ and burning their silk
Letting the pillars crash to the sand
Leaving only the exiled to pick up the ruminants of a
Flourished dream

One more late night excursion
One more one night stand
With yet another wrong one

The wind blows me around like a plastic bag
Circles me around floating high above

Feet searching for the end of the bed
Trying to stand on solid hardwood

I don't know or I can cease to remember how I got here
How these are things that occupy my mind
How to cross the street and wait for the light to green
To convince myself
I need liquid courage
To let these moments manifest in my thick presence

I am different, hardly recognize me
I've changed, and I don't think I like this mirror image of what I would be
Compared to who stares back at me

I refuse to let the party die
I never want the high to go away
The thrill of being able to say,
What you want to say

And in that moment
You figure out
That you're drunk,

Come, monday
You'll be in a single, twin bed
Waking up to a phone alarm
Wondering how you ended up here
Miles away from home

The time has come for restless sleep
The sleep of incoherent and obliterated fools
The wallows and petty dreams
Of the followed few,
The dreamers and peace believers
Desire a harmony that will create peace on earth
However, future does not peruse happiness or companionship

Greed and hate
The *******

Grab it fast

Be brave young parasite

For the war of the worlds strikes at midnight

Grab your claws and retrieve your arrow

There is still something left to fight for

Our women are bruised with the fear of the fall

And the empire washed out the crown

And religious ***** who fold their knees to obey an invisible folly

Falter and sway as their scaffolds crash

So be brave young maggot, it’s only you

You must burn the bridge to divinity

And rope the sinners and free agents

Bound them to their rebellion

For the chalice broke way for a hopeful world of peace

I run through the city streets

Hold my hand, we ran

Ignoring the neon lights and the tall people

Blurring the nightlife

Changing the surroundings every second

Follow the ocean breeze,

     takes me away

Mountain sounds and yellow lights

Full of monsters and men

We are here, the comfort of home

The sand between our toes and underneath my feet

It all begins; chase the clouds away to yesterday

My imaginary best friend made me cry again tonight
My tears leave stains on my cheekbones
My insides feel weak, and sad
He has an imaginary girlfriend,
Let me feel the pain I caused,  
I promise you,  I remember
New days call for new beginnings
Whatever it takes to find some place to call home