Deeper and deeper the further I go
There's no light around me
No room left to grow
My mind is uncertain
My heart set in stone
Deeper and deeper and further from home

How do you learn to be alone
When you were with me
For all my milestones
How do you move on
When the pain
Is so intertwined
With the pleasure
How do you leave
When what your heart wants
Is to stay

I was familiar with rough hands but I'll never forget how gentle she was when she touched me

The new year is never happy for me
It marks a new year without you
Another month without a gathering
Another week without a lunch outing
And another day without a phone call

I talk to you still
Less often than when you first left
But every new year I'm sure to catch you up
The kids have gotten so big
My parents have finally matured

I've finally grown up
Can make responsible decisions
Not living purely on my emotions
All of this growth stems from you

It hurts my heart knowing you'll never see any of it

I feel you trying to love me
I see the effort
I feel the effort
It hurts my heart
I'm too ashamed
Too many skeletons
Too many sins
More secrets than I'd care to share
I think you'd accept me
Take me as I am
The issue isn't you
I'm ashamed to be so
Stained
Standing next to your
Immaculate existence

If you broke my arm
I'd still ask you to sign my cast,
And that is why
I must go.

She spent so many nights wiping off smeared make up she won't even put it on anymore

Each time you call me dumb
I believe you
a little bit more.
I'm dumb
for loving someone
Who is not capable of
loving me back.

I thought new hands on my skin
would burn
My skin is healthier than ever

I've shown you all my favorite things,
But you never remember.

I could tell you something yesterday
And you'd act like it had been forever.

I broke my own heart dreaming I could deserve someone as perfect as you are.

Restless and stressed over things
I cannot control
I wish I could stand back
And look at things as a whole.

I've got pictures living in my phone
Of people I haven't checked on in years,
It's weird how long I've been alone.

It's a shame you don't understand
***,
How unfortunate that I can't understand
Love.

I say I attract toxic,
Deep down I think
I crave it.

She wants me to fail, and I know it.
I'm too intoxicated by her presence to care.

I can't remember your name but I remember how wrong it felt to let you inside me

I can't stand you unless you're between my legs.
It's not love but can we just pretend a little longer?

Everyday I come home
I eat dinner at
My table of selfpity
To watch old memories play on
My television of self doubt
Showering in jealousy and hate
Finally forcing sleep on
My bed of loneliness

Whenever I flip my lucky cigarette
I always wish for you.

I hope your new life is free
Cool breezes
No stress
I hope you stretch your legs
With no worries
Your pond full of shrimp
Your heart full
I bet your feathers
Are positively pink
And always fluffed
Admiring your admirers
And I hope you know
While you hangout with your flamingo flock
Forgotten, you are not

A word used only to be polite.
You don't love her if you think she's "nice"

Sometimes when I drink coffee I find myself missing you,
So sometimes I don't drink coffee.

Better off now than I ever was
Better space, better place

Richer now than I ever was
Richer space, richer place

Safer now than I ever was
Safer space, safer place

Lonelier now than I ever was
Lonely space, lonely place

Just a pen and a cap
Made perfectly for each other
Fitting together tightly
But the cap has been chewed on
And no longer fits

What do you do when you don't
Want to break a heart
But the heart in question
Cant actually be broken
Its a facade
Created to break you
Over and over
Again

Once I wanted to be a party girl,
Now I just wanna be your girl.

Temperature rising
I feel I can breathe
Express my emotions
Be happy, at ease

Every time I get closer
to my goal
I feel myself slipping further
into a hole,
I just want to be a success
But my bad side won't give it a rest.

When you wouldn't hear my words
I tried to show you with my actions,
You just stopped looking at me.