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How many tears should I waste?
How many wounds should I get?
How many nights do I have to cry?
How many years should I hide myself?
How many years does this pain takes?

How many lies should I hear from them?
How many years should I put this mask Smile on ?


OK IM DONE !
 Nov 2015 Ava Valentine
R
lines no matter how bold
no matter how thick or thin
can always be bent or crossed
with just the right amount of pressure
or negotiation and talk
sometimes flirtation

maybe you've known each other
for weeks, months maybe even years
and you follow the lines
trying real hard to stay on your side of it
because it's what you consider
comfortable, acceptable and familiar

but sometimes you lose focus
and your vision isn't sharp
you know it's not the right thing to do
but you crossed the line
just to experience what it feels like
to be on the other side of it

this is where the complications start
you don't know how to be back
to your own side of the line
because now you know how it feels like
to be on the other side with the other person
and you won't admit this but you liked it there

now your mind is racing with possibilities
of what if's and what could have been's
but you know it's wrong and it's weird
so you went back to your own side
but the lines are all blurry now
and your mind's all messed up

it feels like you did the right thing to do
by going back to your side
but you feel this emptiness in your chest
because even though you are back
you left your heart on the other side
and the emptiness is killing you.
 Nov 2015 Ava Valentine
R
I don't know you
I don't know how you feel right now
or how you feel about the current state of the nation
I don't know how you like your coffee
or whether you prefer drip over pressed
I don't know the lyrics to your favorite songs
or if you like progressive rock or indie
I don't know your favorite restaurant
or if your prefer Chinese takeout and fast food
I don't know where your next adventure will be
or if you prefer to stay at home
I don't know if you like mayonnaise
or whether you like mustard on your hot dog sandwich
I don't know what you think about in the shower
or what you think about when you're washing the dishes
I don't know what keeps you up at night
or if you're the kind of person who falls asleep right away
I don't know your deepest most vulnerable secrets
or your hopes and dreams and your crazy ideas
what I do know is your heart
and maybe they tell you you have no feelings
that you can't be moved or touched
but I know that not showing them
doesn't mean you don't have them at all
we have the same heart and that's okay
everything will be okay.
I don't know about this poem but it felt good writing it.
 Nov 2015 Ava Valentine
R
Please
 Nov 2015 Ava Valentine
R
be patient with me
I will argue with you to no ends
not because I hate your guts
not because your opinions are invalid
but because I like intellectual stimulation

be patient with me
I'm not the easiest person to deal with
I will not accept all of your excuses
and I hate it when things don't get done my way
because I've been let down hundreds of times before

be patient with me
I know more than I let on
I don't like laying all my cards on the table
and I know you want me to be more open
but I am made of layers and I'm being open I swear

be patient with me
I am quite sick in the head
my mental state isn't stable all the time
I'll try my best to be there for you when you need me
but sometimes my demons come after me

be patient with me
when I'm all better and good
I'll give you what you need and your wants
I'll make you proud and grateful
I will do my best to make you happy so just please

be patient with me.
Read the title every time you start each stanza. Some personal writings I found in my good old black notebook of thoughts.
 Nov 2015 Ava Valentine
Havran
"You knew of words,
but not meaning."
 Nov 2015 Ava Valentine
R
You're made up of layers
more than a hundred of them
but when you peel a few
they thought they already know you
impressed, appalled to see you
baring your soul, opening yourself
and you find it funny
and you find it kinda sad
because to you it's nothing
like a small scratch on a surface
nothing but just a few layers off
and you have a hundred more to go.
Feels.
FACT: Promises aren'T meant to be broken.
In a silent place,
where a silent man
met a silent woman,
whom fell in love silently.

Silently the years passed,
they speak to each others feelings
with their silent tears.
For the Char :3
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