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Dec 2017 · 374
Familiar
Lexie Dec 2017
What is familiar to us we hold most dear
The dying warmth in the fireplace that was our love
Oh how quickly we forget to add the kindling
To soon does the light fade on either side of your nose
Still you look into the night, searching
For that which you know, but have never had
You grasp for life with your barren hands
Yet it slips through your fingers as if it was made of water
For the flow of life is fickle and who can know it's course
Silent and serpentine these dreams pass
Through my sheets and on into the night
What poor unfortunate sinner do they seek next
I am all I have ever said, and I do not speak well of the dead
Your words are knives pulled from a mouth of swords
Your eyes are fire pulled from hells firy columns
Still you light my way, I am a fool to follow
But this is familiar, to my old soul
She who has scorned you, still calls your name
Never should she have even know it, but fools live and die
You must not answer, still you do,
but fools live and die
For you long for what is familiar to you
She  will follow, with the lust of her hands
To seek us in a place that no man knows
For where can that be, is it the garden
From whence God cast his children
Is it the sky, where Orion was scythed by his children
Or still yet the dessert where no water is found
Still now I see it, yet I do not know
For is it where none can ever go
Is is your heart , within your self
You live there, and die there, and can never get out
For you know this place, but do not even know yourself
Dec 2017 · 126
Consent
Lexie Dec 2017
You wanted me in the bedroom
And I just wanted you in the ground
Dec 2017 · 196
Storms
Lexie Dec 2017
There is a reason that the storms that destroy everything

Are named after people
Nov 2017 · 119
Spunk
Lexie Nov 2017
I live life uncensored,
But not unaffected
Nov 2017 · 104
Storm
Lexie Nov 2017
I am a nor'easter

Can you weather the storm?
Nov 2017 · 210
Valley
Lexie Nov 2017
If life was a valley
Where would you walk

In the stark sunlight
As it beat down upon you
In all the glory of the day
As it kisses your face
With the warmth of its rays

Or would you walk beside me
In the coolness of the trees
I see no light, only darkness
And the shadows that wreath me
They tell me their secrets in confidence
For they know my name in turn
Me eyes have long forgotten
All the radiance of the sunlight
I cannot know that which I fear

And so my journey is this
One that I walk beneath the moon
Nov 2017 · 105
Mental Suicide
Lexie Nov 2017
It's dangerous to even think of you
All my thoughts are bullets
Mental suicide I would gladly commit
Just to think of you one last time
Nov 2017 · 107
Heart
Lexie Nov 2017
You wear your heart upon your sleeve simply for the fact that it doesn't not fit in your pocket
Nov 2017 · 102
Untitled
Lexie Nov 2017
My soul is non-binary.
Nov 2017 · 281
The Voice of the Dark
Lexie Nov 2017
Though the darkness seems still
I can feel it ache
As it tries to consume me
To tear me away
From all that I have ever known
But to know something
And to belong to something
Are two completely different things
Yet still you remain a part of me

The pull is there
I feel it all through the night
And my heart can barely quiet it's rest
There is life in many things
But I seek for it in seldom
There is light in few things
Yet I look for it in you
And the hope that I cling to
Rests upon your shoulders
It is a gentle weight
Yet you feel it all the same

Like a magnet the night pulls
Oh how opposites attract
Still I try to turn my face to the sun
But my feet will not follow
I resist all that you are
Yet I love the sound of your voice
And I cannot help but ask
Where is my joy?
Where is my peace?
Admist all that I endure

I bear the weight of all this life
These scars weighed in pounds
The darkness screams
In many colors
And breaks apart all that is sound
Nov 2017 · 143
Sweet
Lexie Nov 2017
She was sweet
So sweet
But no in the way that cake is sweet
Sweet in the way that dandelions smell in the morning
Fresh like a parking lot after a rain storm
Dark
But not like the night
Like shadows of trees dancing in the forest
Doing all that they can to touch the light
Nov 2017 · 344
Death
Lexie Nov 2017
My mind had gone to death
And soon the rest of me shall follow
Nov 2017 · 110
Soul
Lexie Nov 2017
Where is the light
I must be blind

I know you hold it
Within your heart

But it's dark out here
And I cannot see

For my fear
Clouds my vision

So all that I see
Is nothing I can bare

For light is love
And I see none

In contrast to the night
That claims my soul
Nov 2017 · 133
Scream
Lexie Nov 2017
Where words fail me
Here in the dark
Where all light is extinguished
At the end of the rope
I fall to my knees
Can prayer save me?
I lift up my hands
And so follows my voice
For a scream does not change
A thing in this place
But it **** well
Makes me feel better
I live for release
Of all that hold me captive
But still your hands
Twine around my neck
My breath is fleeting
All air is foul
For it is filled
With the sound of fear
That creeps into my skull
And I cannot get it out
Nov 2017 · 137
For this is grief
Lexie Nov 2017
I am overcome with emotion
For there is so much distance between us
I love you, for all that you are
And somehow that is not enough
So many things
Try to get in our way
Nov 2017 · 1.9k
Fear
Lexie Nov 2017
You can't shut the door
Turn the lock
And expect
Your fear to be on the other side.
Nov 2017 · 136
Meeting Place
Lexie Nov 2017
This could be the night I die.
Nov 2017 · 129
Eyelids
Lexie Nov 2017
Honestly,
At this point I think the demons hide under the bed because they are afraid of me.
Nothing terrifies me more than what I see reflected back to me in the mirror.

Why do you think I close my eyes?

It is not to sleep. It is not to rest, it is to escape this harsh reality.

For the back of my eyelids are blank, unlike the thoughts that haunt my mind.

Only fools go there.
Nov 2017 · 125
Mom
Lexie Nov 2017
Mom
I used to take of you
When I was younger
Even when you didn't
Take care of me

Now that I don't live there
We don't have the same roof
All of your words
Land like slaps across my face

How can you ask me
If I wanted this
With the same mouth
That says "I love you"

Love isn't a grieving heart
Or every single day hurting
More than the last
It stings deep in my heart

Every time I look at my phone
And you accuse me
Of all the things you did
I die a little inside

Because it isn't love
To treat me like this
To **** me, with all your words
And all your stupid lies

How can you call yourself a mother
When you are so damm childish
How can you say it's all on me
When the ball lies in your court

There is a cost
That we all must pay
But I refuse, with all that I am
To pay a penny for you

Because you don't give me time of day
You didn't give me any worth
Or even just a kind word
To bad lies are worth nothing

So all the of the hurt
That you push upon me
Just pushes me further away
And I won't come back

I would do anything
For my family, that you know
Blood is so much thicker than water
Maybe that's why you choked

But, I need it to stop
Because there is more to life
Than all this foolish drama
And all of my heartache

So please, close your mouth
Shut your tongue behind your teeth
And let me life all that is life
While I still have time

For today is sleeping
With all of the yesterdays
And tomorrows sun rises
Behind the whites of mine eyes
- F. U. M. -
Nov 2017 · 187
Landline
Lexie Nov 2017
I don't care
Who you are
What you've done to me
Or how long I've know you
I will stay.
With you, or on the phone with you until I know you are going to be okay. Because sometimes a landline is a lifeline.
I've got you.
Oct 2017 · 235
Love
Lexie Oct 2017
There is more to a person
Than just a face
And the way her body moves

There is more to a person
Than just his suit
And the way he hold his shoulders

There is a Spirit
That is deep within them
And it is not deaf
For it hears the call

The Father knows his children
And he calls them
By the names he had given them
Because he loves them

There is the God of love
And there is no other
For one love
Is all he has for you

A fire that brings light
And warmth to all it touches
Heat to those gone cold
And it lights hearts on fire
Oct 2017 · 717
An open book
Lexie Oct 2017
Do you ever stop and realise you don't like the story you are living and think about all the pages you could of filled differently?
-JS
Oct 2017 · 1.2k
City Baby
Lexie Oct 2017
I remember growing up in the city
I did not know where my next meal was coming from
Or if I would have boots or a winter jacket
But some things were consistent
My neighbors, shooting straight up in the street
My parents screaming about rat traps and paying last month's damm rent

And I come from nothing
And I ain't never gonna be good enough

And yo man my brothers and my sisters we don't got nobody but ourselves
But that's all we ******* need

Like, I walk in a joint but I don't smoke it
And y'all so inconsiderate and call it joking

You've never been where I've been
So you will never be where I'm at
And yeah it's hard to deal
But I ain't never finna go back

And it's fresh in my mind like air Jordan's till the day I die
Y'all watch me live my god damm life a way you will never understand why

Y'all gotta Mercedes you drive around there bendz
And all I have are my family and my ******* friends
But people will always be greater that possessions
Man things are **** compared to this life's lessons

And I wish to God I had someone to relate to
I look in the mirror and I say; this ain't me, this ain't you
But we from the streets we do what we do
Get in my way I still do what I gotta do

But it ain't my fault, I didn't chose the don't **** with me life, the don't **** with me life chose me
And now I make my choice, for the now and the tomorrow, I'll smile through all the pain and sorrow

Because you brought it all back to my mind like a whole *** fool
But ***** your a peasant so let the queen of the streets rule
Oct 2017 · 379
Ezekiel 47:9
Lexie Oct 2017
Life will flourish wherever this water flows.
Oct 2017 · 105
Tired
Lexie Oct 2017
Nothing is harder to force than the smile of someone who's trying and just doesn't feel like they're succeeding.
Oct 2017 · 721
M.O.
Lexie Oct 2017
No matter what horrible things you do you're always going to tell me it's my fault, that I deserve it, that I will never be better than I am right now, what you made me out to be. The truth is very different, I am a Phoenix and I Rise Above, and I am the light to contradict your dark, and Honey Boo Boo's karma is coming to you soon and you get all the blame. Because I'm a tree darling and I'm throwing all the shade.
Oct 2017 · 153
Without You
Lexie Oct 2017
If seven billion people can live their lives without you then **** it I can, and I will
Oct 2017 · 198
Stahp
Lexie Oct 2017
Ya know
I really hate
The fact that you can tear my world apart
With just a handful of your cruel words
Oct 2017 · 124
Lonely
Lexie Oct 2017
Do you ever isolate yourself?
And then wonder inside your heart
Why you feel so ******* alone?
And it hurts so much.
I can bear it but I don't want to.
Sep 2017 · 340
Shadow
Lexie Sep 2017
I sleep with all the lights off
So my shadow doesn't get lonely
While my thoughts wander
The corridors of my dreams
Sep 2017 · 154
Time
Lexie Sep 2017
The way things are, and
The way things were
Is not the way, that
Things will always be.
Sep 2017 · 449
Feminist
Lexie Sep 2017
Sad thing
Is
Some of us
Don't even
Have to
Leave
Our house
To be
Sexualized

Try that one on for size, I don't to bash men I just want to do the equality.
Sep 2017 · 136
F.C.
Lexie Sep 2017
Well ****.
I'll just hold back the tears
The truth will find it's own way it

And in all honesty
I never thought it would come to this
Sep 2017 · 140
Weary
Lexie Sep 2017
Nevertheless she persisted.
Sep 2017 · 156
Torture
Lexie Sep 2017
This is as torturous
As waiting for you to decide
You put the cart before the horse
And still you hold the reigns

All the weight is unbalanced
And the threads are coming undone
You blame me, like acid
I feel your lies burn into my face

Teach me to be independent
But how dare I have thoughts
That contradict with such a small mind
And my thoughts to large

I cannot tell if you are lying
Because your words don't complete
Even the sentence they claim
All the words like a verbal suicide

Phone calls and connections
Unmarked cop cars and social workers
A family, with one warrior
And she fights, still she fights

She was all grown up
By the time she hit the age of 9
A child? An angel?
But no one spared the rod

She left when she could
Still you tried to follow
But only fools go
Where heroes set their steps

You carry flames on your tongue
It is no wonder you spit fire
But I think you a fool
To expect me to quench your thirst
Sep 2017 · 237
Breezes
Lexie Sep 2017
these little breezes tell me
in the whispers of your voice
that you come riding
I must only wait
for when the some comes up
it will not be alone
if I make it through the night
I will have you tomorrow
I lost my dignity
a long time ago
but I know no matter what
you will always lift me up
Not everything makes sense.
Sep 2017 · 310
Dare
Lexie Sep 2017
I lose all that I hold most dear
So I dare not even touch you
Sep 2017 · 821
Two Months
Lexie Sep 2017
I can choose how heavily this weighs upon me

I can pick the weight pressing more and more upon my shoulders
Or I can pick feathers to carry

I can choose turmoil, churning me up from the inside
Or I can choose to walk in grace

I can pick minutes so long they never seem to end
Or I can pick days that slip through my fingers

I can choose a mind filled with a thousand games
Or I can choose saved brains

I can pick a heart heavy with all my cares
Or I can pick the promises of God.

I choose peace.
Sep 2017 · 246
It's a tree poem.
Lexie Sep 2017
Give me green, in all it's shade
For color is lacking here in birth
Oh growth, you desire
And roots deep into the earth

On topsoil you sit
Carried to and fro and yore
Tossed in seasons of turmoil
Thrown like waves to the shore

Your small fingers dig
Grasping at the earth still warm
The sunlight kissed it
To sleep in it you yearn forlorn

The earth she call to you
Like the wind in the trees
She sings you lullaby's
A song in her breeze

Oh simple heart, sweet delight
I see you basking in the daylight
Oh child of forests, my sweet light
I find you here wreathed in starlight

You make peace of the beings
That cling to celestial heaven
You shield all below, with your eaves
And in kind their brethren

Branches screaming to be free
Reach higher still to the sky
A trunk so strong, she is sturdy
Roots that sink, but never fly
Sep 2017 · 169
Egyptian Cotton
Lexie Sep 2017
Y'all so thirsty in these streets
But can't **** with me in these sheets
Sep 2017 · 356
She Calls Me Daddy (Pt. 3)
Lexie Sep 2017
You tried to make it about yourself
Saying that I was attacking you
But I didn't even call you names
How could you be so selfish

You tried to make it about me
Saying that I was throwing a hissy fit
But I didn't even victimise myself
How could you be so blind

You tried to make me feel crazy
Saying that it was all in my head
But the proof was in the paper
How could you be such a fool

It was about their safety
Big no matter what I said
You invalidated every word
My entire childhood a lie

Sisters, I could not love them more
My trust in you, could not be so lacking
My heart, broken with your response

It's not about me
And it's not about him
It's not about them
And it's not about you

It's about saying the right thing
And doing the right thing
No matter who you are
No matter what you face

But still you chose
To punish the victim
Not the assailant
******* **** culture
Sep 2017 · 103
Lungs
Lexie Sep 2017
Y'all breathe like it's easy.
Sep 2017 · 152
Shut Up
Lexie Sep 2017
I'm really sick
Of the fact
That what's in
Your heart
Isn't the same
As what
Comes out your
Mouth
Aug 2017 · 428
Work
Lexie Aug 2017
If y'all just did
Your mother f*cking jobs
Then I wouldn't
Have to do it for you

This daily grind
Like arabica beans
It wears me down
To only the bitter
Aug 2017 · 761
Peace of Heaven
Lexie Aug 2017
You said you would chose me
Above all else
You swore to protect me
With every breath

But I am beneath
And you do not breath

So we are left
With a house
Divided against itself
And a city
Torn apart from the inside

The gates are broken down
And trust has left all of our hearts

But the Lord he is faithful
To renew all spirits
And so I place my confidence
In him alone

For he has never failed
Anyone before
He has never left
Any of his children
Alone.
On the battlefield

So I call
Upon his name
And he answers;
My daughter,
I have walked this road
My child,
I am beside you still
I am your strength
In this dark hour
I give you rest
Drink if my living water

To confide in the King
And stand in his presence
Humbled by his grace
And blessed by his hand
And he speaks to me;
Oh child, I did not spill
The blood of my son in vain
It was for you
It has payed the way

So now I claim
All victory in Christ
Because what sweat of the brow
Or toil and trouble
Or earthy treasures
Of foolish hope
Or love of flesh

Can ever contend with
Or ever fulfill

The promises of God.

Pinned to the cross
Nailed to Gates of hell
For death is fleeting
And sin all done in vain
For a mortal man
Who's home is heaven

Oh saint, take your place
At the foot of the throne
For peace is found
In heaven your home
Aug 2017 · 233
Toxic Live
Lexie Aug 2017
She loved flowers
And so gave her roses

But I grew them out of my very own chest

She loved music
And so I wrote her a song

But I pulled the words from my very own soul

This toxic love

I cannot even breathe
The temperament
And all I believe
Toxic love roses abuse chest pain
Aug 2017 · 151
Moon
Lexie Aug 2017
Damm you were bright
But the moon is my lover

Sun of my life
I love like no other

My star in the sky
None can eclipse

The kiss of the night
By day, she I miss

Wonder of the world
She lives while you rest

Daughter of the night
The reaper of the blest
Lesbian eclipse moon queen
Aug 2017 · 377
Untitled
Lexie Aug 2017
I am fustrated by your willful lack of inaction.
Aug 2017 · 81
Monster
Lexie Aug 2017
I was the one under the bed and she was the one in her head
A monster and her demons could never be friends
I live in the shadows  twixt the four posts
She thrives in the dark thoughts in her mind
Aug 2017 · 159
Anger
Lexie Aug 2017
This red torrent
Rains and pours through my head
All the animosity grows
And it rushes like rapids

I gave you the knowledge
I told you everything you needed to know
And yet this is your response
Stupid silence

You said when he crossed the line
That it would be far enough
But you didn't even draw it
So he gets away with it all

His hands on temples
That do not belong to him
DONT ******* TOUCH ME
Its. Not. Your. Body.
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