racism and stereotypes
I’m not chief keef but that’s that **** I don’t like
especially when I’m judged like when people say that I don’t “look right”
cause I tell I’m samoan so I’m supposed to be big and strong
and playing some stereotypical sport like football
it’s just an ethnicity, like anyone else, relax
but on a more serious note, I feel bad for the blacks
tell me why a few weeks ago, my roommate is walkin’ down on mill ave.
and he sees some girl sittin’ alone so he comes over cause he just wants to chat
but as soon as he approaches her, she gets all tense and afraid
cause she’s over here fabricating some image that he’s some kind of troublemaker, like the dude from the movie crash, you know the one with the braids?
I find that **** ludicrous
that many people out there judge off the color of someone’s skin and think they knew all of it
all of who you are and all of how you act
so you supposed to be a gangsta on the streets cause you young and you black
or the only explanation for the brotha with the beemer is he be workin’ that corner sellin’ out dime sacks from his nike knapsack or maybe he’s just one of those cats that likes to rap and occasionally slangs crack
but no, he can’t be no college educated man
he’s wearing a nike outfit and his skin is all black
and don’t even get me started on all the idiots that judge Hispanics and call ‘em wetbacks
what the hell is wrong with this world?
latinos are arguably the hardest working people around
but jose and carlos must be illegal cause they’re holding a shovel and their skin is all brown
so let’s get a group of racist ******* to push sheriff joe arpaio to introduce sb1070
good job Arizona, you’re now the most hated state in the country
cause we don’t like Mexicans cause they’re taking all the jobs that we could have had
but let’s skip the fact that they’re willing to work twice as hard for half the pay with no insurance to cover their back
how do you disrespect anyone, who’s willing to do all that?
and as we go over these issues with all the minorities
racists begin to develop a sense of hate for those that make up the majority
the white people
this girl in class may have not have been paying attention or got an easy question wrong
so let’s just whisper under our breath that she’s just another “dumb blonde”
let’s just assume that she’s daddy’s spoiled little girl cause she has a coach bag
and that she has a lotta of money, no rhythm, and above all no ***
and her daddy’s daddy’s daddy must have owned slaves back in the day
so I’mma use that against her if she ever misbehaves
and act like the majority of her people haven’t matured past that stage
and since they seem like their living well, it must be safe to assume that they were born privileged
and that they’re completely oblivious to the sufferings of other races and completely ethnocentric
*******
all these stereotypes and racist assumptions, *******
why can’t we,
live in a colorblind society,
where all races can connect without the animosity?
well, the answer is, we can, but it starts from us
stop the racism, stop the stereotypes, stop the hate, and begin to trust
in people of all colors with different mothers
like the cliché goes, don’t judge a book by its cover
so just because he ain’t a brother
that don’t mean you gotta give him the cold shoulder
so, if everyone can, I need yall to do me a favor,
I need you to love you, love him, and even love me
love her, love them, love everyone equally
and as for me? I’mma just be me
regardless of what people assume, I have the right to act freely
cause I’m not trynna be the center of attention or the definition of perfection
I’m just strivin’ to be proud of what I see in my reflection…

Hell is like waiting in a long line for the zoo
So this must be limbo...

Time stretches / skeleton skin skeins
The tock the tick / the clock
Sketches
Schizophrenic melancholia
Mockingly sickening
Traffic of panic / deafening
Time stales / takes Forever
A long while - in limbo
Zombie shock / mind akimbo

And loneliness is a box
This corpse sits in
As existence / outside frightful / persisting
***** and spritz-ing
Our vibrant thangs
Songs shouts to gang sign slangs
Even when the lyrics
Go deep
Six feet sorrow
Hip hopping to defeat

But we gots to love it
The life we have
The Flava and the savor this last dance .
Makes me wanna Dougie
Percolating / jump / criss cross
Vanilla bean / jump jump

But what is a song to a diminished bird
No cage more cruel than the loss of worth
Hearts depart from its soul
Jester / fools / without cheer
No cartwheels glee or clue
Happy days adieu
High times zero new
Birds to the sky / fist pump / guns
This is for the Razza
End what's done begun

Waiting to get thru
Theme parks colorfully masking
Reality's streets and truth
Inmates as we are forced to wait
Hate is quicker to arrive
Behind bars hollows Time
Takes our forever
Even waking up
Still in limbo / thirsty without a cup
Same ole system
Who's business makes slaves
Kept blind and silently afraid
Kept
In a state / of mindlessness
Now worse than before

Schitzo screaming schisms
Crazy IS the war
Fear wreaks havoc
Boom boom back to a room
In your head goes the bomb
Shrapnel wounded / half none...

Are we there yet?
Just farts in the wind
Waiting is hell / how does life begin?
Just passing by / passed away / a passerby
Yelling and complaining
Let me in ? Get me out ?
Ghost to life's boo hoo / poor you
What happens to dreams wasted
In the zoo
Eyes turned frozen
Cold uncaring
Dying and lying / lifeless stories to share
As beauty within is in despair
As beasts overcrowd the fair
Flotsam in limbo float
Alone in its killer cold
Time still passing / parole / on hold
Much hope

Where are we
If there is nothing
No penny for fairy tale wells

Wishes are dead in fountains
Rich and heavy to the bottom
With tossed currencies. Fell.
How will a coin speak
Who will ever know
If we do not paint out loud
The masterpiece of the dream?

Tell me dreamer what time do you have
Still waiting?

In this zoo...

When it always was and is
And always will be

Up to you.

The other day
I was jerking off to ****, right?
and
I'm in mid stroke
watching this ***** get banged
by some dude with a ****
that he slangs
in and out
all this nasty ****
got her *** spread open
dove in
lookin creepy
with this goatee
nasty *** *******
and her
got those eyes
that u can stare in forever
and still see nothing
but she got a body
who knows where her soul went
and as I'm getting mine off
watching these two ***** get off
these thoughts creep off
in my head
and I stop
and think
for a minute
the **** am I doing?
why do I have to need this?
to survive?
clicked play
and continued
and finished
stopped the video
and then thought the same thoughts
that I thought
when I first pressed pause

It varies from woman to woman, however
this girl will always hate giving birth

Maybe she wouldn’t even get married nor have ****** *******
More than forty years ago those childish thoughts kept circling in my mind
It didn’t take long for her to realize that *** and babies had something in common
Nana so often said to us girls with her Island slang
“What sweeten a goat mouth, would burn his tail end”
So girls you're worth it, don’t do it
The after effects, the after effects so complex and powerful

Nana woke us up in the wee hours of the morning
either with her singing, or the rattling of the *** and pans
I knew at some point I would come to hate being a nurse
I probably wouldn’t be able to show Compassion
If you aren’t compassionate enough: being a Nurse isn’t for you
I hated those homebirth early morning deliveries
Not enough light, no running water in the homes,
And the list goes on in late sixties on the Island

When I finally woke up that morning
I noticed Nana’s black bag on the table:
  Her lily white apron on the back of the chair
How she got her uniform to stay so white was a miracle to me
Granddad was outside fixing something under the old Wolseley bumper
Using an old flittering kerosene paraffin lamp to get the job done

Our country farm house sat the bottom of the hill
So Grandad needed the old Wolseley car to be in good condition
To pulled Porte hill and there I was about to be Nana’s Nursing Assistant

Was I up for the yelling, screaming, crying? At my age, I wasn’t,
  However, being defiant wasn’t appealing, Nana played on our emotions
  another one of her favorite island slangs
“Some children are to be ****** to death if they are defiant to their parents said Nana”
I was also too sleepy to sulk so I sat and quietly listen to her rambling on and on:

So I turned all my thoughts and energy to Genesis 3:16
To the woman he said, "I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

And that was my last words to Nana: No man shall have control over my body

  and that was my last trip with Nana on her delivering baby route.

Do not let growing up in the streets define you as a person?
You are older now and don’t need to talk the street talk and slangs.
Educate yourself to what you can be, not what you was.
I do not want to be defined as a street **** or a ghetto rat
But as a person who has learned to talk properly and has
Left the streets to the streets.
Because I do not have a college degree does not mean
That I am an illiterate; it just means that I did not pursue my education.
No one has to be defined as low class, trash, or ignorant.
Because you are born in the hills does not make you a hillbilly!
Or born in the swamplands does not make you a swamp rat!
Titles have always been given to every ethnic group, such as
The Hispanics was spicks, the Irish – miks , the Italians as wops
Or guinies and the blacks as ******* and so on down the line.
If you are one who likes to use titles on others, then there is
Only one title that you can use.
“HUMAN BEINGS” which classifies everyone.
I want you to stand proud, because you are a HUMAN BEING
Made by GOD, and he doesn’t make garbage.
Learn your own self-respect and others will respect you!  DON’T BE DEFINED!

Not knowing who I am
Or who I want to be
I lose myself in fashion
Slangs
In someone else’s youth
Just to be on the in crowd of something that isn’t me
Confused by the age of innocence
I have tried to relive what I shouldn’t
Couldn’t
Wouldn’t
Only to have it pushed back at me
Cause I’m confused

I did nothing
I said nothing

They were laughing
You were watching

The less I loved myself
The more I faced the taunts towards myself

My dejection,
Became your entertainment

My cries,
Made you to smile

I hate myself for liking you
I loathe myself more for telling you

My cards were slapped on my face
The fragile flowers I gave you, made you feel disgraced

Breaking the heart of a peasant is no big deal for you, even I know that

What did those flowers every did to you, I never understood that

I returned home, feeling detached from my own emotions

Didn't actually felt bad for my heart or the things you said and did

But felt bad for destroying those beauty

Everyone and everything in your life teaches you something..

This was my lesson to learn
From you

I don't know why I never loved myself,

Maybe because my eyes are too dark or my hair too short

Maybe my cheeks are too puffy
Maybe my skin is too dark

Maybe because I'm too loud and weird, for everyone around

Maybe I'm too boyish Or too frank,

Maybe it's my thinking that let it be later it'll be all right

Maybe it's my patience that makes me think that you'll change one day

But those flowers,
What was wrong with them?

They were simply beautiful,
Yes, I agree, some petals on the flowers were not equal to each other

Every petal was different from the other,
Some flowers were in perfect shape and some where beautiful in colour

Look closely,
Every petal is formed within the flowers with each other,

Each flowers are born from the very ground beneath us,

Their veins connected to each other

Some were different from eachother but all were the same

Maybe it's same with humans also,
Everyone is literally the same thing,

But a little difference made us completely different from eachother,

Why should I not love myself?

I can scream louder than anyone,

My slangs, stand out from everyone around

Anyone who knows me, realises I have arrived due to my nest like hair

Everyone I know is honest with me and honestly I like it that way

So why don't I love myself?

The more I found the positive things about myself, the more I started to love myself

You and your friends were trying to make fun of me,
For saying my heart's desire

I made fun of myself in front of you, and said, everyone does stupid things once in a while

Your friend said, you're a tomboy, you're way to boyish
You should wear skirt and keep your hair long

I said, I do know that and I like it that way
Skirts and long hair is not my thing, probably it'll suit you

You said that I've changed
I said, Really, how so?

The bell rung, I went to class,
Now when I actually think about it,
I never got an answer from you!

But frankly I don't care,
We all are flowers born from the ground beneath us,

We may look different, but we've got the same veins connecting us to each other

___

Does anyone else completely cover their arms in words if they have access to a pen? :P

Does anyone else stay up really late like the badass they are... to read novels in the dead of the night? :P

Does anyone else insist it isn't that cold outside and refuse to wear a thick jacket then find out it actually is freaking freezing out but refuse to admit it and think oh well, my pride will keep me warm! ...omfg im an icicle.

Does anyone else read a text from someone then have to google what one of their abbreviations or words or slangs mean instead of just asking them so they don't feel stupid?

Does anyone else laugh at RIDICULOUSLY stupid things, but can hardly breathe they are laughing so hard?

Does anyone else get that feeling where you just want to jump right out of bed? HA! yeah, me neither.

Concepts  👁‍🗨


(the light at the end of the tunnel was somebody else's iPhone)


39 • Speaking the language of the ocean as an Opening Statement oath

38 •  house where gathering on lunch tables is the validation of love I've been taught everything but home

37 • I'm less of a city than id like to be I’m
more categorized i never asked to

36 • It's raining and Thunder storm never fitted my skin this completely  
And —

35 •  yes I'm using too many personification because you know what, The sky is the only one took me in its basement when gods condemn me and my family turned my bedroom to a storage room-
And —

34 • no You can't be as dead as a poet lost herself trying not to pull the trigger every time her hands stopped writing

33 • I wore the moon as a guilt dress and called it mine. when gravity traumatized the earth; it never was okay not to maintain your skin

32 • love shouldn't be this futile mathematical formula, it was either give it all your cosmos or leave its atoms be.

31 • The worst case scenario saying that you cared

30 • Blaming your sign or your daddy issues doesn't facilitate you a permission to justify yourself. domestic violence is never a family matter

29 • Using metaphors like translating love confessions to French, and addressing the lavender's scent on someone else’s sweater. facing the music and call it by its first name was never an option,  securing your handful of cards, clenching them tightly in your fist and never on the dinner table is all your upbringing taught you.

28 • promising not to repeat your parents mistakes only to become one with every time you improvise your toxic behaviors, your mood swings, and hunted past lives on people believed in you that you cast away 'till they walk out of you heathens

27•  she didn't.

27 • She kisses you homes and family members and your childhood playground ‘til your lungs is overflowing with fireflies and graduates

26•  you say “thank you” she said “it’s the god work at best” and man if getting her god's approval is such a tired game

25• I prayed for him 5 times a day, it’s been 5 years and he never answered me back

25 • Contradictions never made sense

24 • I hate the lake and i hate the house and I'm never in between?

23 • Leaving parts of you every time you leave her bedsheets is not a love story

20 • Fights and Interfering ihate-iloveyous like they were the same thing

19 • Trapped inside a voicemail
and made up tweets on happy endings and cursive curses,

this is not supposed to rhyme.

18 • Turning kitchen into dance floor half past eight AM  —her legs move to the music and her body hits you like a soft iceberg before its shape fit into yours now I don't know about you but I'm singing a holy ******* hallelujah on that ****

17• Using the same words fighting on who came up with it first

16 • If religion were to transform into human figure: sun lays inside her mouth, lavenders roots inside her ribcage both beautiful and suffocating.
- Moving the weather in reverse she reinvents clouds so catastrophic and put rain into being; that, my friend is the only miraculous evident  i'll ever worship. You see, the sun bends every time she shake the sky graceless only then she smiles and only then, atheism was irrelevant

15 • Love letters on cold rooms, Empty tea cups, crossed calendar, fake engagement rings and lovers who never came back

14 • tic-tocks, January 12  stuck on 3 minutes phone call ******* I'm doing it again !

13 • I'll seal my will to the seven seas and go down with the ship hopping you're the sailor

12• judging the book by the way it let's you go doesn't let their parents reject you little less

11• too many boarders in our town yet you come up with creative way to make death prouder than your dad ever will

10 • Matching cuts, different motives, Immortalize me a kiss and i'll pretend I'd refuse

9 • Turning heart into cereal box and Oreos and chew on them like love taught you

8• Ran out of blocks to architect so i run on empty vows on strangers lips that fades by the time sunlight knocks on the window

7• she texts you, then she texts you not.
she tweets your slangs and quote your favorite song lyrics and you Turn her notifications to on off on off on off on on on on !

6 • Too many plans too little swimming pools.

5 • turns out placing rings on people's finger doesn't help you keep them  

4 • Blackhole inside a blackhole inside a tunnel you wish it was more physically harmful than soul abusing i thought I've known better                
    
3 • breaking your surface to one and your heart for two Making love to visual screens  and screenshots it's not supposed to make sense, but you probably know what i mean

2 • Wearing funeral black since last   Thursday noon and Sunday                                           morning seeing you wearing the same    breaks my heart.

   1 • Remember when I counted down til the day i meet you when we started texting, isn't it ironic now that I'm counting our poem down to an end , I'd laugh but I missed the punchline since that 12th of January

I was becoming for the record I know I'm a liability what I administer is formation that was created from my days my minutes ...that cop that  came to rescue us when everyone left gave me his shhhhh he said no one will believe you OK ..All pretty all beautiful soul dancing ....suppress your only a savage !!go look after your kids look at you disgusting... OK !!! that worker did an assessment  on me ..unfit no good violent..but I can't tell you that I cry every night I don't even sleep in my own bed!! I make my kids sleep in one room just in case we have to jump out the window... but wait I'm violent I'm unfit I'm trying to protect myself from Mr. and Mrs. originally we were put on medication because were unbalanced and we need help psych ward is next for you you crazy Indian!!! I got to make it home tonight I sit in love for my family no one can take that from you !!it's mine !!educationally I sip this rage I sip this patience pour this quality into my baby girls I promise ...that Stagger makes you look vulnerable the cab driver pulls up loud music says our native slangs personally hand his number now he has us First Nation women on target !!!! where are you I just saw you we just spoke of our kids growing up together ...where are you I was trying to make a way I didn't have enough for this ..I'm sorry ..I'm lost I cry now ...you speak ..voice me tell my mama I love her my kids show them they're the greatest and to walk forward breathe me alive in your voice!!... they're going to call an apology accordingly as order is adopted their ways speak like them walk like them dress like them wash like them drink like smoke like them think like them wait I look different than them I feel different than them I try to fit in it just does not work OutKast original first nation take me home now ...I can't stay addicted the pain of civilization the hunger of the reservation the future of your instincts manifested in the waters deep enough to drown sorrows in your own backyard formers retaliating in healing formers regaining strength in value in self governing options on the white paper hidden eyes  so black so lost in your formality ...tie your own shoes don't try to walk in ours you have no sole... mysteries of loss graves reappearing lines found by mistake take me by the hand I won't take your truth I reform myself in dignity of my First Nation !!!!mercy kindness  truth!!!

Red ribbon, white socks
donned school uniform
9'o clock signals escape from study
a quick run into the alleys
then a gust of bus smoke
takes her to school
and then a lonely heart in
acute melancholy eagerly
waits for the day to die.

A thousand broken poems, bites the dust
It was my first love Stefi August

When dusk descended in the towns
this lonely heart dissolved in the wicked crowd
A night awakened by movie songs
and recently mastered slangs flew in the air
Tired of this cheap escapism
this lonely heart wants to buy pain
to inspire his poetry
that time Stefi August
in lover's imagination
try to penetrate his heart.

A thousand broken poems, bites the dust
It was my first love Stefi August

Maths notebook was adorned with pictures
her name, her portrait, page after page
a thousand festivals and morning hymns passes
this heart frantically waits for that golden day
When the night was busy with the hustle of theater
this heart waited for that moment
when in the stillness of night
in open windows
for once, just once if she stands
Stefi was too innocent
she didn't understand
occupied in her own wonder.

A thousand broken poems, bites the dust
It was my first love Stefi August

Not even a moment seems true,
Everyday the tantrums we've been through,
The slangs and slogans people have sprayed on,
It breaks my heart to see you gone,
I know there is no return of you in my life,
But hoping you succeed and thrive,
To become somebody from a nobody,
So one day you will be honored by everybody,
It's ok, I will deal with the shyts people spit around,
Don't worry as you will change with the new surround,
But you forgot to understand the fact of your loss,
Leaving me rusted in this place to flip and toss,
No last hugs, no goodbyes,
Seems like I lived with moments of fine lies,
I remember you said about living life together,
But today I sit back with memories and gather,
The moments that seemed true,
Now, without you...


©sim

A young man of age
Whom I know through the door
Of my father’s hut
With the buttock window of your short
May be a mad Dog had raced
After you of late
Escaped only with a mouthful
Bite of your bottom
Giving your *** an access to
Free breeze.

Three days in a week
Not five as of the ‘oyinbos’
Being sassed to go European way
Gives us a stiffed neck
In our own father’s farm
European education for our
Father’s harvest
Being able to speak in slangs
To win oyinbos ‘divine’
Hand shake
‘How are you, village lad?’
‘Fine taku!’
Sored the white hand with
Mud
Going bear-footed to pay homage
To the hand that held him
Hostage
Bearing the decayed teeth to the white

Coming back home hopeful of
Rising to the highest celebration
And an apartment beside the
Queen’s.