Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy!
     Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy!
The world is holy! The soul is holy! The skin is holy!
     The nose is holy! The tongue and **** and hand
     and ******* holy!
Everything is holy! everybody's holy! everywhere is
     holy! everyday is in eternity! Everyman's an
     angel!
The ***'s as holy as the seraphim! the madman is
     holy as you my soul are holy!
The typewriter is holy the poem is holy the voice is
     holy the hearers are holy the ecstasy is holy!
Holy Peter holy Allen holy Solomon holy Lucien holy
     Kerouac holy Huncke holy Burroughs holy Cas-
     sady holy the unknown buggered and suffering
     beggars holy the hideous human angels!
Holy my mother in the insane asylum! Holy the *****
     of the grandfathers of Kansas!
Holy the groaning saxophone! Holy the bop
     apocalypse! Holy the jazzbands marijuana
     hipsters peace & junk & drums!
Holy the solitudes of skyscrapers and pavements! Holy
     the cafeterias filled with the millions! Holy the
     mysterious rivers of tears under the streets!
Holy the lone juggernaut! Holy the vast lamb of the
     middle class! Holy the crazy shepherds of rebell-
     ion! Who digs Los Angeles IS Los Angeles!
Holy New York Holy San Francisco Holy Peoria &
     Seattle Holy Paris Holy Tangiers Holy Moscow
     Holy Istanbul!
Holy time in eternity holy eternity in time holy the
     clocks in space holy the fourth dimension holy
     the fifth International holy the Angel in Moloch!
Holy the sea holy the desert holy the railroad holy the
     locomotive holy the visions holy the hallucina-
     tions holy the miracles holy the eyeball holy the
     abyss!
Holy forgiveness! mercy! charity! faith! Holy! Ours!
     bodies! suffering! magnanimity!
Holy the supernatural extra brilliant intelligent
     kindness of the soul!

                                   Berkeley 1955

How come everytime i turn around
People are worried about others opinion?
How come everytime i turn around
People are dying
Dying cuz they are scared to be themselves
Scared cuz the world is soo cruel
Losing all hope
Dont know what else to do..
Society why
Why Do you implant things in our head
Making us believe
What seem soo real
But its oh so fake
Making us blind
And feeding us with soo many lies
Sociey why
Why are you doing this to us
Taking what we love and live for
To give us something thats filled
With so much hate
Giving us our only option
To give up and die
We have no hope
Society why
Do you make use feel soo little
When we mean so much
Making this world a death trap
We die either way it go
If we dont **** ourselves
Then the world do
Our only safety
Is away from humanity
Society
We shouldnt have to feel
Or live like that
Society why
Do you pay more attention to the rich
And ignore all the poor
Its like a war
Rich against poor
How much more bull
Can we take?
Society why
Are you hiding soo much history
And leaving parts of our brain so empty
Making us believe
What you want us to believe
You try to make us seem dumb
So that no one can "Rebell" against you?
Society is ****** up
Just like the government is
Society why
Are you doing this to us
What happen to peace?
Or love?
Or forming a better union?
All the past activist
Will be very disappoint in you
Society
please give us a break
I dont know how much more people
Can handle
Giving us limited options
Society is a comedian
And the biggest joke is us.

I was foretold, your rebell ***,
  Nor love, nor pitty knew;
And with what scorn you use to vex
  Poor hearts that humbly sue;
Yet I believ’d, to crown our pain,
  Could we the fortress win,
The happy Lover sure should gain
  A Paradise within:
I thought Loves plagues, like Dragons sate,
Only to fright us at the gate.

But I did enter, and enjoy
  What happy Lovers prove;
For I could kiss, and sport, and toy,
  And taste those sweets of love;
Which had they but a lasting state,
  Or if in Celia’s brest
The force of love might not abate,
  Jove were too mean a guest.
But now her breach of faith, farre more
Afflicts, than did her scorn before.

Hard fate! to have been once possest,
  As victor, of a heart
Atchiev’d with labour, and unrest,
  And then forc’d to depart.
If the stout Foe will not resigne
  When I besiege a Town,
I lose, but what was never mine;
  But he that is cast down
From enjoy’d beauty, feels a woe,
Only deposed Kings can know.

Have you ever watched a wild horse’s rage when they try to tame it in? Or ever watched a wild leopard fight back, when they Try to steal it’s skin? Have you ever watched a lion’s fierce roar, when they try to cage it in? Like the wild, leave me.wild child.

My love flow like  rivers, It comes deep as the seas. My emotions can be contagiously calming but can change like the ties of a raging sea. I don't know where I am going, but I know where I been, I desire to live like the wild, I rebell when cage in. Living to be free, Independent spirit of a loner wolf. Jane to Tarzan? yea... I would live like them if I could. Wishes to be unconstrained by society.  How could I be put in a box. When you have courage like a lion an strength of an ox. Can not be compared to a thing, or an ordinary human being. Gypsy by heart, obsession for freedom, born bohemian Queen. Though control over others can be a blessing, more of a curse. When flesh and ego bound by unresolved past, turns me into the worse. But my awareness of it all, picks me up from the fall. and leads me back to soul, when I hear divinity call.  Ancestors guide me,Truth in the stars. Moon child in chart. Pisces in sun. scorpio by ascendant, Venus ram thrives, I see God in the sun. My soul is undefined, Old fashioned and style. Mind me like nature and love me like the wild.

Have you ever watched a wild horse’s rage when they try to tame it in? Or ever watched a wild leopard fight back, when they Try to steal it’s skin? Have you ever watched a lion’s fierce roar, when they try to cage it in? Like the wild, leave me.wild child.

The ghost of Bill Kettchel still sits glumly on the bluff
Not but a few paces from where he  was fell
He has risen majestic at night from the well.

Still screaming out loud, Hey give em hell boys, give em hell

Dropped in head a foremost by the heel of his boot
Give em hell goes the echo, by god give em all  hell

The fields glistened  brightly with crimson and gore
The fighting was grisly like none seen before.
All stacked up  like cord-wood a good  ten foot high, they smote grey and  smote blue
by  the hip and by the thigh.

Give em hell boys by god, came the echoing cry.

Now musket ball splatter, now cannon grape rain.
March through the death gauntlet and line up again.
As the dying lie crying Under shade tree spread wide.


I'm a Yankee doodle dandy. Yankee doodle do or die.
A real live nephew of my uncle Sam born on the fourth of July.
Look away ,look away look away.

Dumped in head a  foremost  by foot and by heel. My self, Andy, Caleb  
Rest daily in the well. By day we lie peacefull, at night we rebell.
Especially those nights when the moon is aglow
We rise to the mouth and we holler and shout.

Give em hell boys  by god, just send them all straight to hell.

Done Aug. 8. 1653. Terzetti.

Why do the Gentiles tumult, and the Nations
Muse a vain thing, the Kings of th’earth upstand
With power, and Princes in their Congregations
Lay deep their plots together through each Land,
Against the Lord and his Messiah dear.
Let us break off; say they, by strength of hand
Their bonds, and cast from us, no more to wear,
Their twisted cords: he who in Heaven doth dwell
Shall laugh, the Lord shall scoff them, then severe
Speak to them in his wrath, and in his fell
And fierce ire trouble them; but I saith hee
Anointed have my King (though ye rebell)
On Sion my holi’ hill.  A firm decree
I will declare; the Lord to me hath say’d
Thou art my Son I have begotten thee
This day, ask of me, and the grant is made;
As thy possession I on thee bestow
Th’Heathen, and as thy conquest to be sway’d
Earths utmost bounds: them shalt thou bring full low
With Iron Sceptir bruis’d, and them disperse
Like to a potters vessel shiver’d so.
And now be wise at length ye Kings averse
Be taught ye Judges of the earth; with fear
Jehovah serve and let your joy converse
With trembling;  Kiss the Son least he appear
In anger and ye perish in the way
If once his wrath take fire like fuel sere.
Happy all those who have in him their stay.

Aug. 12. 1653.

Jehovah to my words give ear
My meditation waigh
The voyce of my complaining hear
My King and God for unto thee I pray.
Jehovah thou my early voyce
Shalt in the morning hear
Ith’morning I to thee with choyce
Will rank my Prayers, and watch till thou appear.
For thou art not a God that takes
In wickedness delight
Evil with thee no biding makes
Fools or mad men stand not within thy sight.
All workers of iniquity
Thou wilt destroy that speak a ly
The bloodi’ and guileful man God doth detest.
But I will in thy mercies dear
Thy numerous mercies go
Into thy house; I in thy fear
Will towards thy holy temple worship low.
Lord lead me in thy righteousness
Lead me because of those
That do observe if I transgress,
Set thy wayes right before, where my step goes.
For in his faltring mouth unstable
No word is firm or sooth
Their inside, troubles miserable;
An open grave their throat, their tongue they smooth.
God, find them guilty, let them fall
By their own counsels quell’d;
Push them in their rebellions all
Still on; for against thee they have rebell’d;
Then all who trust in thee shall bring
Their joy, while thou from blame
Defend’st them, they shall ever sing
And shall triumph in thee, who love thy name.
For thou Jehovah wilt be found
To bless the just man still,
As with a shield thou wilt surround
Him with thy lasting favour and good will.

The 4am need of smoke with clear cold sky and blanket.
Kalahari desert of old.
Hominini are wondering about water and grub.
Butterflies are playing with flowers.
Purple is moving forward with no regard.
Now Humans are here - and the tank is almost empty.
The sun burns hard through the smoke cleared.
Clean is the sphere - but expected kindness was not to be.
Clear of purple violet is the new fear.

Time does not wait for compassion.
Earth will rebell and take her children back.

Where was it I left off? Oh yes, the rebellion of a slave to its master

I Believed my deceitful heart knew the way, but the way to disaster

As the days visited me and went, the colder I grew, and the more beauty fled

I scratched, I punched, I kicked, I hit the doors to try to break them open... and continuously I bled...

My eyes grew white and blind... so I could not see the destruction I was causing to myself and around me...

I was so certain that this hall was the hall where my life would unfold, where I'd find everything I could ever need...

Skin chipped away, muscles scrapped slowly down to the bitter bone...  I refused to have anything heal

I made a blood pool mess of pride at the entrance... along with a few puddles of a broken deal...

My God did not leave me though... He was there... but within spirit... but I denied it...I didn't care about my loss of purity

"Do you not have trust?" A young blonde servant whispered, kneeling to my level of insecurity...

"Why continue to make your self suffer when you can rise again?"

"And what reason would I have to rise? My desired fellowship will never amend..."

I intended to be rude to show her kindness and words were not welcome here

"You sound as if our Master is unfair... You doubt him.. you doubt his decisions, His choices, it's that clear..."

"You must be in His favor... To be so hopeful and life filled... Do you even have the slightest taste of suffering?"

Her knees laid in my pool of blood, her blue jeweled eyes stared into mine, my mind constantly puzzling

Closing those sapphires, and reopening them brought forth a vision of her past or tormenting love and tears

" Foolish girl... You're selfish to believe you are alone in this feeling... I was ONCE lock in your cell... Trapped by fear"

"And there are more down another hall who would know that pain all too well... Please... arise and come with me..."

"Why?.... What's the point when I have already fallen and failed and there is no possible better beauty..."

"They can answer your doubts and questions since they have had the same shoes..."

".... but I'm too blinded to even see my self... all I see is strangely you.." I tried to look down... but pain wouldn't allow me to move

"Then I guess you have no choice but to trust me... Do you think you can treat your wounds if you can't even see your own body?"

Anger irrupted inside of me... Only because I know this Blonde was right. So with her guiding hand, I rose to my feet

My soul screaming and shouting... Begging to rebell... but how could I? My body was dying and in defeat...

One warm white skinned arm wrapped around my brittle waist to guide me to the other side of the castle

A trail of blood footprints followed behind me... As I felt the connection between my flesh and the beaten door hassled

Trying to carefully slip away... I could feel the strength in her arm... there was no escape

So off me and this Blonde went... Leaving behind the hall that I want and also, or so I thought, the Hall God had planned and shaped...

Isn't it incessant!?
That tick tick ticking within the walls of my skull.
It will count me down, entrap me in my own noise,
So thunderous!
And I can only pray for release,
Into dullness.

Why must my tired pupils notice everything!?
They rebell against me, despite my pleas to sheen over,
Ignore,
Shut tight and,
Let peace wash me away!

Together, they assault me with experience,
And I am shoved in a wedge of darkness,
To beg for tranquility in vain.

The constant thoughts turning over,
And eyes which take in light...
This proof that I am living,
It is my agony.

I don’t know how to begin a poem
I don’t know how to start to write down the words in my heart and sow them
I don’t know how to make a proper rhyme or rhythm
I don’t know how make something sound genuine but polished
I don’t know how to show both my creativity and my knowledge
I don’t know how
I don’t know
I don’t…
In reality there is not much I can say
I can write for an entire day
And only have one line written
On display.
Man, why am I here?
Am I just trying to prove to myself I’m deep and clear?
When in reality these words mean nothing
But yet i craft them together to try and make it something
ABC, twenty-seven letters mixed together again and again
Mix in some punctuation and call it win
When really
What do I have to say
I’m seventeen, young, and have never known pain
Maybe years from now, when I’ve lived past my mother
I will look back and see me as another.
It’s odd,
For someone so privileged in their life-
I was loved from the moment I was born
And probably will be loved till I die-
But still why do I feel so much pain?
It’s not the same as they described it
Symphonies of screams or echoes of rain
The crushing memories or nightmare at night
The blood pumping in a sudden fight or flight
No
It’s just quiet here
A damp room
A lonely light bulb
It’s empty
It’s cold
It's too foggy to be clear
I've never been in love
I haven’t loved a single thing my life
And I know everyone says its my age or my youth
That I just have to wait and wait until I meet the right person
Then my world would explode into light
My heart would beat and threaten to burst out my chest
A pulse stopping, deep love that would blow out the rest
Yeah
I don’t think that will happen
And maybe it’s just me being a cynical teenager who pretends to know what’s happening
Who's convinced that somehow my experience is different from the thousands of people who have already lived
Or maybe it’s because I don’t work that way
Maybe there’s a gear broken inside of me
Something that won’t fit
Because each time I try to love something
I’ll get hit with my own thoughts, something that nags me
And says
You don’t know this is real
You aren’t happy
And it’s ridiculous I know
But the feelings true
How can you love when the only thing you know is real is you?
Huh
For all I know,
This is inside my mind,
And i’ve been dead weeks ago
It’s hard to love
And it’s hard to get lost
When your thoughts are always caught up in the fact that these feelings are apart of some plot
That the feeling ‘love’
Is just a chemical
That convinces animals to breed and is nothing more than mechanical
I want
To believe it’s something more
But my mind likes to rebell
And ignore every score
Maybe that’s why I can never fall in love
I’ve met good people who would’ve been perfect for such
But their love has never affected me much
Maybe that’s why I’ve never been able to dream
Because I know the real world and it is as much as it seems
I’ve never had large desires
Because some part of me sees it as pointless
It’s hard to dream big in word where sometimes you're not ever sure if you exist
And yet I balk at the thought of death
Of the afterlife
Or nothingness
Sometimes when I’m in class and the bell is about to ring
And everyone talks and jokes around like it’s not a thing
I’ll look around
And suddenly feel
As if I’m the only one whose real
As if I’m the only one who sees the world from outward perspective
Like a narrator
An onward looker on the main action
Aware of how everything is so temporary
Dramatic irony isn’t so fun when you know what it carries
But I know I’m not
The only one who feels this way
A concoction of hormones and disorders to start my day
I’ll probably grow up
Do what my parents did
Normal job, marriage, one or two kids
I’ll look back at my teenage dramaticism
And roll my eyes
Thinking that I knew nothing
My emotions too big for my size
But sometimes
I hope I remember what rain felt like in september
Or the fact I wrote that line without actually know what it meant
Or how I worked and worked until my brain was completely spent
****
What am i even doing here?
Writing a poem no one will ever hear
Lines between lines
That could show my world clear
I should just shut up
I don’t know what I’m saying
I don’t know how to write a poem
I don’t know if I’m praying
I don’t know how
I don’t know
I don’t
I…
I am alone.

waste no time
explaining for her
she never gets what its like
for  a machoman
out there

give no effort
to  listen to her longer than
your crush
they've even made up a word
to prevent that
****

dont let her think about
making a point
judge her by the looks instead

and if she behaves badly
just call her a ****
and wonder outloud
what her family done wrong

it's her flaws
so punish her
still, dont give her the beauty of being a rebell
she must have been taught wrong
from somewhere

you hush her up
there's three simple words to describe her
beautiful, ugly or ****

it's as simple as that
move her from beautiful
to ****
if she reach more than
a certain amount of boyfriends
a year
or dismiss you

proven even by the hate of gay
there's something wrong with not beeing
man enough

you rip her apart
with feelings only a whip hand man
can provide her with

yet she's the one left with
shame and disbelief
answer
weren't you leading him on

give her the signal that
leading him on is punished
with ****

you never heard her rap about
a man in every state
with pride

because you see
there's a big difference
to the glory of it
when you add a S
in front of the he

The none rebell...
Tattoos
Piercings
Hair
And gauges
Not for rebellion
But to keep her culture alive.
As she ****** her
Lollipop
With a sassy additude.

Man mortal, sin,Lucifer ,
the good book and Jesus.
The absolute truth is unknown.
Yet we believe,some chose to.
Others rebell and have no faith.
Some over believe by choice.
They become blinded by hate
and consumed by rage.
So they act in the name of God.
But God sits back and watch the act.
He's good all the time and He's just.
He leave choice and battle to us.
I can't question,I can pray and belive.
Slaves were not not resist ,it was sin.
The masters read it to them every day.
God sat back and watched,every day.
He wasn't pleased,slave masters were.
Nothing else is to be said, not now.

#IvanBrooksPoetry ©️
4.16.2019