Jay 1d

who are we?

we do not fight
we will not fight

except when this one
returns in waves

you
feeling
unprioritized  
unloved
scared

me
feeling
insufficient       
hamstrung  
lost

you are
my only
one  

i spoke of you
around the globe
trough the stars
and back

you made a
home for me
warm and bright
no strings attached

we never fought
we do not fight

but this one
these fears  
never seem to
fade

what will it make of us?

Jay 2d

so my one cat
are on a diet  
fat as a bun
marshmallowly white

the vet sais
i can slim her down eventual
if i change her food
and that it is essential

my other cat
are not  
furry like a fandom  
gingerly walnut

everyday
my ginger cat lifts my mood
he purrs and stroke my legs
so i'll bring him his non-diet food

when he gets it
he walks away into the hall
so my white cat can enter
and eat it all

in return
my white cat joins me in the sofa
purring and sweet
makes me think she needs me
brings me to my feet

she walks me to the door
where i see my ginger cat outside
waiting for me to let him in
(ignoring the cat door just beside)

we have our games
i know they fool me, absolute
but i can't help it
they're just so darn cute

Jay 2d

you looked at me
and saw all the girls you ever loved and lost

distant gazes
broken words
timeless longings

always so
impossible close to
possible  

and when i left
i left like all of them

when i looked at you
i saw all the boys i ever loved and lost

dreamless promises
close calls
distant closeness

always
for someone else's sake

so when i left  
i left for all of them

Jay 2d

"Let's take a walk. Just as friends, I promise. For old times sake, let's just talk"

So as friends
I ended up pinned down on the snow  
hands inside my shirt and forced to a kiss when I clearly said no
then simply left alone on the ground  
because apparently to you my no ment 'let's fool around'

just standard procedures with all your friends I guess
why should I expect anything less

as my friend
you told my boyfriends
behind my back
I wasn't one to keep

so when I was down
you could comfort me
as a friend
and maybe stay to sleep

I was told to see your behaviour as signs of love and be flattered
and that I maybe
anyway  
should have known better

like this precious friendship
was a perfectly logical consequence
of me ending it, telling you no
and therefore having too much confidence

but I can't mistake your lack of respect for love
and I have a right to choose the latter
besides, I firmly believe
you always were the one
who should have known
better.

Jay 3d

sometimes
i think all we ever do
is fall in love with the same person
over and over
in the shape of someone new

Jay Nov 7

most of the time
unnoticed
but sometimes I get that feeling
and I cannot breathe

I don’t mind
the world between us
it doesn’t separate us you see

but I do mind
that it makes it easier to hide ourselves

and nothing scares me more
than the apprehension
that you might not feel ok

Jay Nov 6

i miss
your giant sleepy-head
and cute butt
your cozy morning face  
and sleep walks

long for
our night talks
and shared jokes
your rowdiness
and falling asleep on the wrong side

catching up
after long days apart
wet kisses
before depart

we always valued
independence
and following our dreams
but 355 miles apart
today
it makes me value your presence
just a little bit more

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