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Jay Sep 6
what will happen to
your newly bought home
all your dreams
half finished

will someone sell your
apartment
your furniture

what about your clothes
all the lonely socks
spread around your bed
your laundry
half washed dishes

all your accounts
all the things I wrote to you
unread

what happened
to you
all that was
you

when you died
Jay Aug 16
get stuck on me
like you were at times

around your kitchen table
in the reflection of your eyes
i could be
everything
anything

in the corner of your bed
i hear the future
in your breath

you see
dreams
in the hair
behind my ear

but
you close your eyes
breathe out
my hair falls out
again

everything is passing
with you  

ending.
Jay Jul 14
it can't be you.

you are too lucky.
in all.
(no, not all)

you are too fortunate.
always stumbled across success.
(you were raised by a beater,
alcoholic)

but you are a survivor.
you are. you are.

you can't have been on that plane.
no you just cant. you can't.
it's not like you.
(but on sunday's you almost always are)

i long for your reply.
"no thank god i'm fine"
(my god. you are not usually this silent)

.

rest well.
Jay Apr 24
feverly searching
for that toxic taste
of gasoline

light my match
on your air
conscious clean

all i am
are explosions
and the time between them
on the floor

gathering my parts enough
to set myself
on fire
once more
Jay Feb 16
this time
i need to make it out
alive.
Jay Feb 9
suddenly
everything changed.

we do not play
by the same premise
anymore

you have the power
to start us up
finish us off

i'm meant to follow.
feel.

you categorize me
squeeze me in
reduce me
to this.

give me two options
to be
both equality wrong
because they are not me

and i hate you
forcefully
for this

we do not play
by the same premise
you and i

you are the man
i am the woman

now
we are reduced
to this.
Jay Feb 2
i wondered how it would affect me
if it would at all

i know how i was before
i know how i am now

[before]
restlessly calm
i searched
for skies
in concrete

half a breath
it will sort itself out

[now]
the distance
calms me

i can accept
practically
anything

it have always been worse

half my hand
i lend you

you're one step
back
im already
on my way

i wondered how it would affect me

hand on heart
i was
restless
[before]

[now]
i am
afraid.
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