"niave" poems
She knew that she was broken
From the second that she could breathe.
She always tried to be hopeful,
But realized she was just niave.
She began to feel the world,
For what it really was.
And it pinned her down upon the ground
And killed her hopeful buzz.
She had things inside her,
That no one else could see.
A secret truth to who she was
And who she wanted to be.
It pushed out all her insides,
And raced a virus through her blood.
She didn't want to live anymore
In a world void of her love.
She didn't want them to find her,
In the bath tub down the hall.
But she cried for help so many times
With no answer through the walls.
She put on her best dress,
And lipstick for good measure.
She wrote notes to all she loved
And assigned them each a treasure.
She didn't want to be known as the girl,
That many never knew.
Because she felt in the short times she was here
She had only touched a few.
She envisioned a world of light,
But didn't have her own to give.
And she didn't want to be another blurred face
Who didn't want to live.
So she grabbed a brand new razor,
And laid down in her bed.
She said a silent prayer to the angels in her head.
She let her secrets spill
Down her fingers to the floor.
She was terrified and guilty
At who would find her through the door.
Her spirit finally lifted,
And she smiled from above.
Because she was finally light,
And she was finally love.
Some people were angry,
That she left them all alone.
But she made them understand
That she had never gone.
She looked down from the skies
And watched them with a smile.
Sometimes she'd turn into wind
To be near them for awhile.
She hoped they knew she'd loved them
and that they weren't to blame.
She just thought she could do more good
If she was only a remembered name.
Before she took her own life,
from the sadness and the hurt.
She wrote down a note
And made sure they'd see it first.
It read:
*I am sorry little brother.
I am sorry mom and dad.
I am sorry to my best friends,
And my little sister who was the best friend I've ever had.
Its not that I don't love you
Because I promise that I do.
I just feel too much pain
And this is what I want to do,
Don't think of me as dying,
Think of me as finally being free.
Because it is no secret
That you never needed me.
I hope you all find love,
And spend your life growing inside.
And most of all I pray,
That you all are filled with light.*
So that is her story
And the last one she'd ever tell.
But her soul was finally happy.
And her spirit..
It was well.
May 14, 2014
May 14, 2014 at 3:07 AM UTC
A dozen fellows draped in threadbare tread densely,
Profligating goons in obsidian gowns
gathered under rainbow
moonshine shaking bronze hands,
howling and ****** in the shambles of the moon,
rap'n and nod'n to the notes of midnight.
The mellow marines mourned over malice,
lionizing over lost ones,
many howled venerated, exalted in wonder
in favor of their thrilling grace, and delight,
and brilliance, and might!
but some neighboring sticklers,
behaved haughty and in disdain,
of the crowdy Cavaliers bellowing echoes
signaling out
to the seers of the sea,
singing to the wands overwatching the wedding,
and ravens listened,
roving like noble patrolsmen.
Traveleres and trainees at sea
humble and bright
niave, and frieghtened
in traverse,
volatile and toiling,
tireless,
Lunatics, (laughing, laughing, laughhing,)
Rumaging through rain,
fireciely,
rallying and rableroused,
through towering halls of mohogony,
hefty and wholesome were their hearts
though, beast of the woodsy edifice
were foul and benumb
scowling with contempt,
haste to devide and devised to hindrance.
Hence the heroes heed
to the valleys of rose, and violet,
and strawberry fields of forever,
seeking Saint Nicholas,
in the bustling Byzantium,
in the murky shadows of doubt.
Sep 18, 2018
Sep 18, 2018 at 10:08 AM UTC
Stupid people on the phones
Call me slander
call me your words
You think I care?
You think you hurt?
HAHAHAHA
Yeah RIGHT
You're rudness
and your hate
Just become the butts of jokes
Making my day
Stupid people on the phones
Talk down to me
Make fun of me
You think me stupid?
You think me Niave?
HAHAHAHA
yeah RIGHT
I know more then you think
I can hear you talking
I hear your murmers
Stupid People on the Phones
just remember
you cant see me
While you hate
and slander
and talk down to me
You dont see me
through this screen
you dont see what I do
Stick my tungue out
Stiffling my laughter
Middle finger in the air
So to all you stupid people on the phones
Think twice about being rude
to a sales person
We can be twice as cruel.
May 8, 2014
May 8, 2014 at 2:17 PM UTC
"I got them old bones man"
There shakin’
And there rattlin’
These demons
I’m battlin’
Time
Is unraveled in
Sin, desperation, disbelief
Misconduct and mischief
Stretching
Feels like a prison camp
For old men
Where all those old men do
Is stretch
My body is a concern as my mind
wanders,
And ponders,
And potentially acts, on
large acts of
greatness
and I bear witness
to future bewilderment
that has already past
but lingers,
and fingers,
the ******* blame
on my ***
I wanna live a life of positive affirmations
That’s what I feel is happenin’ you know what im’ sayin
And I keep playin
Games I love and things that I believe
Goals not yet not accomplished
And new one’s I wanna achieve
And a New year brings new things
Don’t break your dreams
Don’t undervalue and don’t leave
Places you don’t want to be
Don’t be a double negative
Take advantages of openings and opportunities
Don’t be a hypocrite and you will completely agree
All those good things
Your gonna do more of in a new year
No matter how niave, egocentric or misadvised…
… in someone else’s eyes
Have no fear
share your gifts
and create your gifts
don’t buy them,
and if you buy them
don’t buy them at walmart
or in malls or in big cities
Everything I ever wish to write
Is an anthem to change the world
And the revolution starts
As soon as I change
As soon as I arrange my priorities
**** the majority
Start a brother/sister sorority,
And I will put down this beer,
Quit a job that doesn’t matter
And put my energy
Into passions and emergencies
And change the world
By meditating
Saying some kind words about myself
With my eyes closed
While deeply breathing
And exploring galaxies with ease
The entire universe…
… I think I Am going back to university
Jan 10, 2014
Jan 10, 2014 at 3:25 AM UTC
She frolicked through trouble, and dandled with mischief. Alison Wonderland; everything I wished I was and so much more. Ever emanating her doe-eyed façade; proclaiming our jests mere “mischief.”
Yet, an unspoken verdict (Foretaste? Conception? Notion?) had cloaked the truth: wickedness rippled beneath our parade.
I nuzzled her contours; my peripheral eye – nailed to her profile, her blueprints, her chassis. I stalked her mirage – dancing with vapor.
She glissaded about, no fool to my truth, varnishing my mantle.
I belonged to Alison: perpetually at her side. Our couplet became a “we.” So, We regretted nothing. We veered for the pyre: caroming(skimming?) those embers alit with vice.
She narrated my mental seminar. Discarding my dogmas to uphold her own; and thus, my mind was hers.
My mind was her mind.
Alison made heads turn, and mouths water, as we sidled – hand in hand – down the street. She was my Christmas morning: each colloquium – giftwrapped with finesse. She personified paradise, she illustrated utopia. Hatching our Carnival; netting us, enamored, sidling the Carousal. We’d skim, we’d sail, her halo – my fossil. Her lips, her eyes, her hands… they echoed the innocence of a child. Niave, innocent, and giftwrapped in wonder.
Little Miss Wonderland: my very own fairytale. She was mine alone; she was mine to keep.
Did I want her, or did I want to be her?
Alison Wonderland.
Her aura – so celestial – paralleled my prose. When she banished my husk – Maple Thatcher – I cackled good riddance… And I grew a new personality to accommodate her own.
For, without Ali – devoid of our we – I doubted the very existence of me.
On my composition, she bestowed rhythm. She gave tune to my silence; her chimes, her cadence. My ink was her song – fusing a symphony. A symphony of Alison: the melody to solidify our tryst.
My mind was her mind.
And yet… somehow, I missed a carriage – or two – aboard her train of thought. For, the same felon spiting my existence, was the angel I loved to life. Gladly, I huffed, and I puffed, and I blew Maple down.
Fused against Alison, I needed none of Maple.
Carnival infatuations…
Alison Wonderland.
Jan 23, 2016
Jan 23, 2016 at 8:04 AM UTC
I'm not heartless or jaded or broken
Though I have been rejected a few times before
I'm still complex but I'm working on it
And all that matters is not what I've done, but what I'm doing to be better than yesterday
I'm not exactly where I wish to be just yet
I am still sensitive and protective and I admit I have doubts
I don't say sorry as much as I should, but I have my way of making ammends
I'm not lost or searching or impulsive and weak
I'm curious and interested in expanding my horizons
My imagination takes me everywhere and sometime I don't want to come back
But I still try my best to improve what I do have
I do what I can and when I fail it's a lesson
If I didn't do my best, I'll take a look at what went wrong
I'm a hopeless romantic and a dreamer in the process of making use of my life and all my potential
I can be funny, sarcastic and niave all at once
But there are times when I'm serious and all I want is respect
I earned what I have and threw away many oppurtunities
But thats the beauty of life whether I like it or not
I forgive easily and remember most things
Especially what it feels like to be hurt and left alone
I enjoy what life brings me and I've learned that I'm capable
I've found my voice and I'm not afraid to be singled out
My head holds a crown that might be too heavy
But all my burdens are mistakes that paved a path towards my successes
I was a girl but now I am a woman
And to be honest, I love who I've become
Some people like me, some may be critical
But the only opinion that matters, is the one in the mirror
I like to laugh, I like to share, I like to listen to my friends
But most importantly I love to smile, even when it's difficult and everything is falling apart
Because in the midst of rainstorm always comes a rainbow
Soon after any day now, the sun will shine on my destiny
And the puzzle of life will still make no sense at all
Jan 21, 2013
Jan 21, 2013 at 12:44 AM UTC
Stomach is tying,
In an interlocking knot,
A constant reminder,
Of an eternal promise.
I am young.
Perhaps a little dumb,
But love is dumbstrucking,
And a bit niave.
To promise a half.
Your better half.
To never deceive,
Is a heavy choice.
But here i am.
Taking the plunge.
And promising.
I'll stay stuck in love.
Dec 20, 2012
Dec 20, 2012 at 3:56 AM UTC
You like them niave
So you can do as you please
Tell them you love them
And have them believe it with ease
You like them niave because you know they'll never leave
May 14, 2014
May 14, 2014 at 8:21 PM UTC
I went under the rainbows and through the rainstorms on a little pink cloud of hope
Everyone kept telling me it was useless and hopeless and such a big waste of time
But I followed my heart and bled on my blankets and even cried myself to sleep now and then
Crossing my fingers that something would happen and this wasn't just another mistake
I might have be wrong, now that I think of it
I might have been stupid for trying to reason with the unreasonable
I might have had false hope and impossible faith
But chasing after the magic of uncertainty was all part of the journey
I was innocent and a little niave at times
But there was something that kept me fascinated
I think it was the magnatude of self pity and lust
But after all this time, I still have no regrets
Some days I want to ask why and what happened?
But I'll never have closure I truly deserve
I guess thats part of the lessoned learned;
When you live for your love and your love does you wrong
When you keep on convincing yourself that its right
When you keep on swallowing your pride in the mirror
And you pretend like its perfect when its all such a disaster
I still can't be jaded when I'm a hopeless romantic in the heat of the night
When a stranger is a temptation and its difficult to keep at a comfortable distance
Because even though my ego was burnt and my heart hurt like hell
I still love with my soul and lead with my head
And not everyone's kindness is meant to wasted
And one day I'll be loved in return
And that love is worth all the burdens I carry
And one day, is getting closer by the minute
Dec 21, 2012
Dec 21, 2012 at 1:51 AM UTC
Its usually happens during the day,
I will catch myself laughing,
radiating genuine joy instead of the usual fraudulent happiness.
I'll feel the relief wash over me like a wave,
carrying away every dark thought i've ever had.
Leaving me feeling weightless and euphoric.
And in that brief moment
I can finally see the rays on sunlight
shining through the murkey waters of my mind.
I will be overwhelmed at the concept
to have finally made it.
To finally see the significant beauty of life
through untainted eyes.
Yet at 2am,
when the worlds asleep and i'm all alone.
The only company being
my bedroom walls.
The air will begin to thicken in my lungs,
and I will forget how to breathe.
The silence will scream at me as the empty
walls start to close in.
I will feel the numbness sink in,
and it will consume me,
as I let the tears fall begin to fall.
I will cry for myself,
and i'll cry for everyone I love.
I will cry for the ones who betrayed me,
and for all the people I have betrayed.
I will cry because there is nothing
I can do to stop the feeling of nothingness
and imense sadness hit me
in these early hours.
Tearing away my sanity with it's
claw like nails.
And only in the early hours
will I curse myself for being so niave,
foolish to think I could ever
escape my mind.
To think that I was ever ok.
Sep 28, 2014
Sep 28, 2014 at 1:46 PM UTC
i'm left feeling tense
on the wrong side of the fence
i try to clear my head
it's impossible, getting over of what's left unsaid
all of the lies and desception
but i'm niave enough to give you the exception
listening and talking obediently needs to stop immediately
i believe i'm finally seeing clearly
i don't mean to be an imposition
but won't question like the inquisition
forget superstitioin, i listen to my intuition
two ends of the spectrum
people are either lazy or crazy
try to play you for a fool
only being used as if you were a tool
since when did that become cool?
you try to be real but in return you get lies
that's why i no longer believe what i see with my eye's
there's been a depletion of the soul
and too much appreciation for ***** coal
the fire needs to start within
and once it's burning they try to put it out like it's a sin
these words only begin to tell where i've been
and at the end of the day it still pains
unless you learn to let go of the reigns
but i can still only look within
Oct 8, 2013
Oct 8, 2013 at 8:21 PM UTC
Stomach is tying,
In an interlocking knot,
A constant reminder,
Of an eternal promise.
I am young.
Perhaps a little dumb,
But love is dumbstrucking,
And a bit niave.
To promise a half.
Your better half.
To never deceive,
Is a heavy choice.
But here i am.
Taking the plunge.
And promising.
I'll stay stuck in love.
Dec 20, 2012
Dec 20, 2012 at 3:56 AM UTC
To teenage dreams of love and wealth
To living life
Instead of breathing death
We are here for today,
Though too foolish to believe
That there is not always tomorrow,
You call us niave
For hoping for more
for caring
And walking into the world daring
it to take us down
We are young
We never belong
We hope
With heads full of dreams
And hearts full of promises
Aug 30, 2010
Aug 30, 2010 at 3:54 PM UTC
Your fingers were rough and calloused
Always rough and calloused
Work was all you knew
Besides women and *****
***** and women
Your soft sad smile I remember well
And your smell
I could get high from the heavy mix of wood and paint
Your black hair slicked back
I loved when you took me to bars
You'd buy me an ice cream or some pop
Oh, those were the good ol' days
When you flirted with waitresses and bartenders alike
I was so niave
A blissful thing, to be a fool
A beautiful fool
Nov 24, 2013
Nov 24, 2013 at 5:54 PM UTC
*Turning the thoughts over
Again and again
Sweet, dancing lover
Trapped in my head
Slow and melancholy
Swooping low to the ground
Springing back up
To my heart beats sound
Fluttering softly
Round and round
Spiraling silently
Long, graceful bounds
Our feet fall into places
That our eyes cannot see
Avoiding eachother's faces
Ignorance like a sheath
I hated your innocence
So pure and niave
When we are dancing
I think of these things*
Sep 7, 2016
Sep 7, 2016 at 11:40 AM UTC
I'm drawing inspiration from the negative,
my attention biases towards certain phrases,
they leap out to me and I thought by now they'd be the ones to represent happiness and hope;
But still internal unrest is at the forefront,
And I still feel incongurance.
Because to relate to the positive I may as well take a syringe to a dry sponge,
I draw nothing but air,
but I guess at least im drawing now and that's progress.
But there's only so many times I can ventilate the same air without questioning,
why my head magnetises certain stimuli in a world so far from bare?
I can't explain, but to use optimism, hope, love and success as my muse feels unnatural, it's strained,
l am unworthy of it.
I let my mouth take the lead,
bypass my brain so I write how I feel, it flows without me.
And maybe its a Fruedian slip in the form of a sentence,
but im scared if I slip too far i'll drown and in my sponge I will suffocate.
So I speak without thinking let my brain take the stage and im back,
back circling the same topics again,
maybe in life I repress them and this is their escape I just dont know.
Because when I write about my excitement for the future or how I dont want to leave your arms or how you personify comfort I feel obnoxious,
I feel niave
What is it about me that feels so uncomfortable,
so exposed,
so vulnerable,
to say i'm happy?
Dec 6, 2017
Dec 6, 2017 at 2:47 AM UTC
I tried.
I was as good as I could be.
We were best friends I thought.
We were friends but with some benefits.
I wasn't good enough and you left.
Everyone leaves but I honestly didn't think you would.
I guess I'm still niave.
I told you things that I wouldn't anyone else and you threw them away like our friendship.
I don't remember the last time we had a real conversation.
I don't remember you wanting to be my friend.
I miss you so much.
I tried but it wasn't enough.
I also think it has to do with her.
She's always hated me.
You're in love with her.
You always listen to her.
Did she tell you to leave me?
I just want to know why
Please tell me what I did wrong.
I miss you.
Come back to me.
Jun 8, 2014
Jun 8, 2014 at 12:59 AM UTC
seeing you now
but not kissing
you is like
looking at a
word, but not
reading it. it
makes me feel
empty, and desolate
inside, kinda achy
almost nostalgic but
still shaking silently
from the last
time that you
dragged your fingers
across my chest
and told me
that you loved
me, ******** i
said but you
kissed me so
hard that i
believed for that
moment that you
did.
and i was
wrong.
so wrong, how
niave i was.
stumbling blindly towards
you, the only
light in my
darkness. *look what
you've done to
me*
so don't tell
me that i
didn't try my
hardest
because
i did okay?
Mar 23, 2015
Mar 23, 2015 at 12:07 PM UTC
This is a story
A not so special love story
About a small town girl and a city boy
He was the good time
Life of the party
Mr. smooth talker suave'
She was the niave
backed in a corner
needing love type of thing
He talked to her
til the sun came up
They fell in love;
That's what they say
Well at least that's
how the story goes and
That's what she thought anyway
The nights were long that summer
She felt as strong as she could be
All they needed was one another
They thought it was forever
They thought it was forever
The years fly by
and the babies came
Struggles and lies
Slid their way in
Til late one night
It all began
Their house of cards
just caved in
Folks that's what happens
When you never talk
Such a sad ending
to what she thought
was real love
The nights were long that summer
She felt as strong as she could be
All they needed was one another
They thought it was forever
They thought it was forever
Apr 12, 2015
Apr 12, 2015 at 3:41 AM UTC
You see you were very toxic
But I did not know.
You see I was very niave and innocent.
You were my everything and I was completely madly in love.
You didn't feel the same apparently.
You left without saying goodbye.
I miss you.
I saw you everyday for a year but ignored you.
I finally got over you.
I don't miss you anymore.
I was done with getting hurt.
You came back.
You want me again.
You do the worst things to me.
I told you I wanted you again.
I don't and I'm lying to you about my feelings.
I'm not sure why, maybe I want to hurt you like you did me or maybe I just want you to be happy. Maybe I want to know what you felt like when you were doing it to me.
Or I could just be a heartless ***** because of what you did to me.
It's funny how the roles were reversed
Jun 8, 2014
Jun 8, 2014 at 12:49 AM UTC
Disrespect
Is served best
COLD
Unless you want to leave a burn
Then put desire in her heart,
Lust in her eyes,
&
Do as he did to her
* * *
The sky's been white for a while
The wind's cold like trauma
First little flakes
Then in abundance
The snow falls with grace
Kinda sounds like us
Our love had me way up
When the sun was shining
I felt Irie
But I noticed the leaves changing
Witnessed the rain & then the downpour came for me
All these doubts of mine confirmed
Didn't listen to what I knew
Ignorant & Niave
'you just made it easier for him to
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU'
& sometimes he did
most times I didn't mind it
forced myself to be submissive
{sips tea}
so I could bear the pain
so I could play this game
Shots to the face,
As this ***** taunts me,
but I just look hydrated
'So, you think that you're **** so you think that you know?'
{sips tea}
Personally , yes & if channeled indeed
Really it's you full of toxicity
I bet you wish that you were me
Never would you admit it so I'll stay HUMBLE
Growing up & growing old, you are the latter
Weary, yes I'm tired of maltreatment of my soul
Abused by those, who think they know more than me
Teach me then elder, don't you manipulate me
If I'm supposedly niave , then what does that make thee?
I say, "Guilty"
If we are talking legally.
In other words, that's foul play.
{sips tea}
A thousand kisses, I still wish you could receive
But I'm a queen , we are of different classes
You can serve but you may not sit with me , you fool.
How merciful I am
To even let you live
How far I've come
...
Like a rose
I've grown
Beautiful
& now dangerous
A step up from the disrespected tulip
I was,
I was
Picked & prodded at
He-loves-me-notted with
Reconcile before you come for me,
THE FORGIVING
Oh, I shall not forget ; the painful bliss
*** appeal, that's what gave you all of me
Exodus, I must voyage to a higher freak-queen-see
So you can see the vision
But I'll be out of reach,
preserving me
Nov 3, 2017
Nov 3, 2017 at 11:04 PM UTC
Day & night. The games you play. Taking advantage, knowing I'll stay.
Your sweet and warm, till your bored, and now your cold. You get rude, so very bold. I tell myself it's so old.
Conversations get rushed, you have excuses for excuses and become defensive. You point your fingers you think I'm distracted. Telling me how I over reacted.
My instinct has spoken time and time again. With the your silence, instinct is my friend.
I tell myself it's only a matter of time when I control the light, when I say it's night.
I'm sweet. I'm in love, but I'm not blind. I see you baby.
You see me small, blind, and so sweet. You see me, so you think.
Love is blind so they say, but that was me yesterday.
Now I sit and I wait.
Soon I'll say when, and it will be so. I'll be a new me, the one you don't know. I'll be the one you made with dishonesty.
I'll bide my time. I'll be prepared.
I may be broken even shattered, but you see what you want to see and I'm not me.
You see what you want to see and I'm not me.....
Jun 16, 2015
Jun 16, 2015 at 2:08 AM UTC
Breathe in breathe out
I believe in you even if you have doubt
Happy thoughts and self control
Yelling will never heal your soul
Time to stop time to breath
Sure you yelled, put it back in its sheath
You ****** up but you fix it
It was just a one hit
She hates now she will hate you for ever
But that's what you deserve you pulled the lever
To late to stop to late leave
You lost control she isnt niave
Jan 23, 2018
Jan 23, 2018 at 7:58 AM UTC
My sun
A truly pure spirit, rinsed in blood of rebirth
Loved dearly, by the tribe , by the womben
Conscious of his right doings & his wrongs
Overstand that mistakes will be committed in the name of con
Light , let it radiate from you, as the presence of darkness surrounds you
May zonsetyo protect you, bless you, & be with you
Maker of history, like the great Makandal
Revolutionary, the lwa
Reincarnated
Sun, I know who you be
My mission to raise royalty
Spread knowledge
Master self & discipline
Power then will be achieved
There will be many doors
You
& Infinite keys
Do not be niave
& fall a victim to wishful thinking
Delusions are not reality --
Which is vast enough for infinity.
This is not to say don't dream, this is to say self evaluate & plan accordingly
You can be a rose in the concrete, have a spirit of will. You can be that revolutionary, that the powers that be are out to ****
Zonsetyo be with you
Lwa be in you
All harm wished, will not be done
For the power of his light is equal to our sun
Ra
Ra
Ra
All that it touches, we can call home.
Radiating from your heart, a rolling wave
You are held to no limits.
Zonsetyo
Be with him
Zonsetyo
Live in him
Zonsetyo
Be light
Help him see
Zonsetyo
Be strong
Fight & defend
Zonsetyo
Affirm what has been written
Zonsetyo
Tell all evil, good riddance
Zonsetyo
Zonsetyo
I love you.
Nov 1, 2017
Nov 1, 2017 at 1:53 PM UTC
I turned around
Found you hiding
You smirked slyly
Ask me to keep my lip zipped
You must've thought me niave
Without the smallest shield
Certainly no breastplate or
Sword of protection
You assumed me a helpless mess!
My only crime,
Assuming you were honest
Honesty was too high a price
For you could not afford the consequence!
After realizing my mistake I found my
Roots so deep
Planted into the richest soil
By a never ending stream
My trunk so thick
No longer can you sway me
I am immoveable
Steadfast
Planted
Jul 12, 2017
Jul 12, 2017 at 1:21 AM UTC