Cotton candy clouds
Fill my throat with cement
I want to be the moon
I'd like to be somewhere else

When birds sing into my window
I float in an ocean of sheets
I would drown in them if I could
Alone alone alone

When the day becomes golden
I wish I could love it for myself
I'd hide it from the world
Alone alone alone

When dark streaks of clouds illuminate
And the streets becomes calm
I'd like to be as smooth as the warmness in the breeze
I wish I was the moon
I'd like to be somewhere else

If I could bury me down into the earth
If my toes became roots
My arms, strong branches
My soul would not be still

I would fly into the godly skies
Clouds of yellow, gold and rays of light
And I would compress this all
With my two bare hands
Alone alone alone

I am caged
I am weak
When I am with you
And when I miss you

Lonely as ever
Clinging together
I'll kiss you then cry
And you'll ask me why

I felt it the other night when I laid
2:58 and my mind felt awake
I felt eyes around my head
And eyes  around my bed
And there was indeed a heavy dark weight
It laid on my back and sat satisfied
And I felt for once empty and hollow inside
And I think it must have been all the heaviness that had settled deep within
That decided to come out but still somehow clung to my skin

I remember once
I laid needing for you
Waiting to hear the steps
And I waited
And I had given up

The door squeaked and you peeked your head through
And whispered innocently
"Can I sleep here with you?"
And that was a joy I had never felt in my life
I thought it was a sign, I thought truly it was right

And of course he gives me comfort
He fills my time with bliss
I will love him with every word and every kiss
But I have yet to feel another joy in that way
And I had once dreamt of you in the night and through the day
And so it humbles my heart to say
I often wish we talked

I felt it the other night when I laid
2:58 and my mind felt awake
I felt eyes around my head
And eyes  around my bed
And there was indeed a heavy dark weight
It laid on my back and sat satisfied
And I felt for once empty and hollow inside
And I think it must have been all the heaviness that had settled deep within
That decided to come out but still somehow clung to my skin

The days are dull
Dull and dim
Floating unimpressed with tired bloodshot eyes

The nights can be better
Although they're usually aided
And medicated
And I see ghosts everywhere

People who I knew
Who I have loved and lost
Linger in my atmosphere, very present
But their presence is no longer for me

The Autumn sky was setting
Rubbing its beauty into my face
Whimsical and mystical
Blue and pink and I was gray

And I see people everyday
Stuck in their humanistic ways
One track mind set, living their lives away
And they are fine and I am gray

There was a time not long ago
When the air was hot and free
When my world was full
And flurished with simplicity

Tell me where my heart went
It left when the days became shorter
Maybe it is because I shed my skin
Maybe it is because I am older

Had it left with my morals?
Back when I truly believed?
Has *** pills joints and tabs
Made me less or more niave?

Tell me where my heart went
It ran when my eyes began seeing
I let it slip right through my fingers
And I mourn with every fiber in my being

The moon has lost its inspiration
But the nights still keep me up
- And I say to others and myself
Just let me live

I just want to live