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1

Senlin sits before us, and we see him.
He smokes his pipe before us, and we hear him.
Is he small, with reddish hair,
Does he light his pipe with meditative stare,
And a pointed flame reflected in both eyes?
Is he sad and happy and foolish and wise?
Did no one see him enter the doors of the city,
Looking above him at the roofs and trees and skies?
'I stepped from a cloud', he says, 'as evening fell;
I walked on the sound of a bell;
I ran with winged heels along a gust;
Or is it true that I laughed and sprang from dust? . . .
Has no one, in a great autumnal forest,
When the wind bares the trees,
Heard the sad horn of Senlin slowly blown?
Has no one, on a mountain in the spring,
Heard Senlin sing?
Perhaps I came alone on a snow-white horse,-
Riding alone from the deep-starred night.
Perhaps I came on a ship whose sails were music,-
Sailing from moon or sun on a river of light.'

He lights his pipe with a pointed flame.
'Yet, there were many autumns before I came,
And many springs. And more will come, long after
There is no horn for me, or song, or laughter.

The city dissolves about us, and its walls
Become an ancient forest. There is no sound
Except where an old twig tires and falls;
Or a lizard among the dead leaves crawls;
Or a flutter is heard in darkness along the ground.

Has Senlin become a forest? Do we walk in Senlin?
Is Senlin the wood we walk in, -ourselves,-the world?
Senlin! we cry . . . Senlin! again . . . No answer,
Only soft broken echoes backward whirled . . .

Yet we would say: this is no wood at all,
But a small white room with a lamp upon the wall;
And Senlin, before us, pale, with reddish hair,
Lights his pipe with a meditative stare.

2

Senlin, walking beside us, swings his arms
And turns his head to look at walls and trees.
The wind comes whistling from shrill stars of winter,
The lights are jewels, black roots freeze.
'Did I, then, stretch from the bitter earth like these,
Reaching upward with slow and rigid pain
To seek, in another air, myself again?'

(Immense and solitary in a desert of rocks
Behold a bewildered oak
With white clouds screaming through its leafy brain.)
'Or was I the single ant, or tinier thing,
That crept from the rocks of buried time
And dedicated its holy life to climb
From atom to beetling atom, jagged grain to grain,
Patiently out of the darkness we call sleep
Into a hollow gigantic world of light
Thinking the sky to be its destined shell,
Hoping to fit it well!-'

The city dissolves about us, and its walls
Are mountains of rock cruelly carved by wind.
Sand streams down their wasting sides, sand
Mounts upward slowly about them: foot and hand
We crawl and bleed among them! Is this Senlin?

In the desert of Senlin must we live and die?
We hear the decay of rocks, the crash of boulders,
Snarling of sand on sand. 'Senlin!' we cry.
'Senlin!' again . . . Our shadows revolve in silence
Under the soulless brilliance of blue sky.

Yet we would say: there are no rocks at all,
Nor desert of sand . . . here by a city wall
White lights jewell the evening, black roots freeze,
And Senlin turns his head to look at trees.

3

It is evening, Senlin says, and in the evening,
By a silent shore, by a far distant sea,
White unicorns come gravely down to the water.
In the lilac dusk they come, they are white and stately,
Stars hang over the purple waveless sea;
A sea on which no sail was ever lifted,
Where a human voice was never heard.
The shadows of vague hills are dark on the water,
The silent stars seem silently to sing.
And gravely come white unicorns down to the water,
One by one they come and drink their fill;
And daisies burn like stars on the darkened hill.

It is evening Senlin says, and in the evening
The leaves on the trees, abandoned by the light,
Look to the earth, and whisper, and are still.
The bat with horned wings, tumbling through the darkness,
Breaks the web, and the spider falls to the ground.
The starry dewdrop gathers upon the oakleaf,
Clings to the edge, and falls without a sound.
Do maidens spread their white palms to the starlight
And walk three steps to the east and clearly sing?
Do dewdrops fall like a shower of stars from willows?
Has the small moon a ghostly ring? . . .
White skeletons dance on the moonlit grass,
Singing maidens are buried in deep graves,
The stars hang over a sea like polished glass . . .
And solemnly one by one in the darkness there
Neighing far off on the haunted air
White unicorns come gravely down to the water.

No silver bells are heard. The westering moon
Lights the pale floors of caverns by the sea.
Wet **** hangs on the rock. In shimmering pools
Left on the rocks by the receding sea
Starfish slowly turn their white and brown
Or writhe on the naked rocks and drown.
Do sea-girls haunt these caves-do we hear faint singing?
Do we hear from under the sea a faint bell ringing?
Was that a white hand lifted among the bubbles
And fallen softly back?
No, these shores and caverns are all silent,
Dead in the moonlight; only, far above,
On the smooth contours of these headlands,
White amid the eternal black,
One by one in the moonlight there
Neighing far off on the haunted air
The unicorns come down to the sea.

4

Senlin, walking before us in the sunlight,
Bending his small legs in a peculiar way,
Goes to his work with thoughts of the universe.
His hands are in his pockets, he smokes his pipe,
He is happily conscious of roofs and skies;
And, without turning his head, he turns his eyes
To regard white horses drawing a small white hearse.
The sky is brilliant between the roofs,
The windows flash in the yellow sun,
On the hard pavement ring the hoofs,
The light wheels softly run.
Bright particles of sunlight fall,
Quiver and flash, gyrate and burn,
Honey-like heat flows down the wall,
The white spokes dazzle and turn.

Senlin, walking before us in the sunlight,
Regards the hearse with an introspective eye.
'Is it my childhood there,' he asks,
'Sealed in a hearse and hurrying by?'
He taps his trowel against a stone;
The trowel sings with a silver tone.

'Nevertheless I know this well.
Bury it deep and toll a bell,
Bury it under land or sea,
You cannot bury it save in me.'

It is as if his soul had become a city,
With noisily peopled streets, and through these streets
Senlin himself comes driving a small white hearse . . .
'Senlin!' we cry. He does not turn his head.
But is that Senlin?-Or is this city Senlin,-
Quietly watching the burial of the dead?
Dumbly observing the cortege of its dead?
Yet we would say that all this is but madness:
Around a distant corner trots the hearse.
And Senlin walks before us in the sunlight
Happily conscious of his universe.

5

In the hot noon, in an old and savage garden,
The peach-tree grows. Its cruel and ugly roots
Rend and rifle the silent earth for moisture.
Above, in the blue, hang warm and golden fruits.
Look, how the cancerous roots crack mould and stone!
Earth, if she had a voice, would wail her pain.
Is she the victim, or is the tree the victim?
Delicate blossoms opened in the rain,
Black bees flew among them in the sunlight,
And sacked them ruthlessly; and no a bird
Hangs, sharp-eyed, in the leaves, and pecks the fruit;
And the peach-tree dreams, and does not say a word.
. . . Senlin, tapping his trowel against a stone,
Observes this tree he planted: it is his own.

'You will think it strange,' says Senlin, 'but this tree
Utters profound things in this garden;
And in its silence speaks to me.
I have sensations, when I stand beneath it,
As if its leaves looked at me, and could see;
And those thin leaves, even in windless air,
Seem to be whispering me a choral music,
Insubstantial but debonair.

"Regard," they seem to say,
"Our idiot root, which going its brutal way
Has cracked your garden wall!
Ugly, is it not?
A desecration of this place . . .
And yet, without it, could we exist at all?"
Thus, rustling with importance, they seem to me
To make their apology;
Yet, while they apologize,
Ask me a wary question with their eyes.
Yes, it is true their origin is low-
Brutish and dull and cruel . . . and it is true
Their roots have cracked the wall. But do we know
The leaves less cruel-the root less beautiful?
Sometimes it seems as if there grew
In the dull garden of my mind
A tree like this, which, singing with delicate leaves,
Yet cracks the wall with cruel roots and blind.
Sometimes, indeed, it appears to me
That I myself am such a tree . . .'

. . . And as we hear from Senlin these strange words
So, slowly, in the sunlight, he becomes this tree:
And among the pleasant leaves hang sharp-eyed birds
While cruel roots dig downward secretly.

6

Rustling among his odds and ends of knowledge
Suddenly, to his wonder, Senlin finds
How Cleopatra and Senebtisi
Were dug by many hands from ancient tombs.
Cloth after scented cloth the sage unwinds:
Delicious to see our futile modern sunlight
Dance like a harlot among these Dogs and Dooms!

First, the huge pyramid, with rock on rock
Bloodily piled to heaven; and under this
A gilded cavern, bat festooned;
And here in rows on rows, with gods about them,
Cloudily lustrous, dim, the sacred coffins,
Silver starred and crimson mooned.

What holy secret shall we now uncover?
Inside the outer coffin is a second;
Inside the second, smaller, lies a third.
This one is carved, and like a human body;
And painted over with fish and bull and bird.
Here are men walking stiffly in procession,
Blowing horns or lifting spears.
Where do they march to? Where do they come from?
Soft whine of horns is in our ears.

Inside, the third, a fourth . . . and this the artist,-
A priest, perhaps-did most to make resemble
The flesh of her who lies within.
The brown eyes widely stare at the bat-hung ceiling.
The hair is black, The mouth is thin.
Princess! Secret of life! We come to praise you!
The torch is lowered, this coffin too we open,
And the dark air is drunk with musk and myrrh.
Here are the thousand white and scented wrappings,
The gilded mask, and jeweled eyes, of her.

And now the body itself, brown, gaunt, and ugly,
And the hollow scull, in which the brains are withered,
Lie bare before us. Princess, is this all?
Something there was we asked that is not answered.
Soft bats, in rows, hang on the lustered wall.

And all we hear is a whisper sound of music,
Of brass horns dustily raised and briefly blown,
And a cry of grief; and men in a stiff procession
Marching away and softly gone.

7

'And am I then a pyramid?' says Senlin,
'In which are caves and coffins, where lies hidden
Some old and mocking hieroglyph of flesh?
Or am I rather the moonlight, spreading subtly
Above those stones and times?
Or the green blade of grass that bravely grows
Between to massive boulders of black basalt
Year after year, and fades and blows?

Senlin, sitting before us in the lamplight,
Laughs, and lights his pipe. The yellow flame
Minutely flares in his eyes, minutely dwindles.
Does a blade of grass have Senlin for a name?
Yet we would say that we have seen him somewhere,
A tiny spear of green beneath the blue,
Playing his destiny in a sun-warmed crevice
With the gigantic fates of frost and dew.

Does a spider come and spin his gossamer ladder
Rung by silver rung,
Chaining it fast to Senlin? Its faint shadow
Flung, waveringly, where his is flung?
Does a raindrop dazzle starlike down his length
Trying his futile strength?
A snowflake startle him? The stars defeat him?
Through aeons of dusk have birds above him sung?
Time is a wind, says Senlin; time, like music,
Blows over us its mournful beauty, passes,
And leaves behind a shadowy reflection,-
A helpless gesture of mist above the grasses.

8

In cold blue lucid dusk before the sunrise,
One yellow star sings over a peak of snow,
And melts and vanishes in a light like roses.
Through slanting mist, black rocks appear and glow.

The clouds flow downward, slowly as grey glaciers,
Or up to a pale rose-azure pass.
Blue streams ****** down from snow to boulders,
From boulders to white grass.

Icicles on the pine tree melt
And softly flash in the sun:
In long straight lines the star-drops fall
One by one.

Is a voice heard while the shadows still are long,
Borne slowly down on the sparkling air?
Is a thin bell heard from the peak of silence?
Is someone among the high snows there?

Where the blue stream flows coldly among the meadows
And mist still clings to rock and tree
Senlin walks alone; and from that twilight
Looks darkly up, to see

The calm unmoving peak of snow-white silence,
The rocks aflame with ice, the rose-blue sky . . .
Ghost-like, a cloud descends from twinkling ledges,
To nod before the dwindling sun and die.

'Something there is,' says Senlin, 'in that mountain,
Something forgotten now, that once I knew . . .'
We walk before a sun-tipped peak in silence,
Our shadows descend before us, long and blue.
Brooklyn Brooks Feb 2015
Together we are alone
the wishers utter was always unheard

the Art of my consort is like ash in the wind 
this purified drift of the eternal fire burning for all eternity

Timid little shell as fragile as the pearl inside
Impurities imparted and manifested into a gem

Let me see the diamond 
the diamond in your mind
I ve been mining with a keen intent
to break down the barriers only to be surrounded by the remains

Im intrigued by lustered reflections of light in these rays of waves in this passing haze of the delicacy protected by your shell

Pandoras box and eves delight
only gives me a peek of that iridescent insight
Such an elusive emblem of the coveted representative Aphrodite

Awakened by impending doom
To
Cross the threshold of a Careless bloom
you turn to me to turn away
that I see
the Diamond is your mental mineral.
we must first be secure with ourselves to relate properly to each other.
we are all so fragile yet so enlightened when our greatest weakness becomes our greatest strength.
John Graham Jan 2015
THE CAMINO CHRONICLES
( Sidhe – Spirit, Ard Ri - High King, Tir na nOg – Land of eternal youth )
JUST A MOMENT AGO
Just a moment ago, it was just a moment ago
Father in Time embracing Mothers Melody to rhyme
Birthing Sidhe candles smile, lights of love, souls glory
Stars dancing with joys release, Sidhe awakening to loves destiny
Just a moment ago, it was just a moment ago
I stood upon Erins western shore amidst constellations considerations
And dreamed I had sailed again across the eternal sea
To Tir na nOg there returned to be
Oisin the Wanderer no more, ever seeking my beloved Naimh’s shore
Queen of the Sidhe, her consort again, Ard Ri of Eternity
Ah my heart demands my Sidhe sings of Naimh’s wondrous beauty. .
Her Eyes Like Twin Candles Dancing
Lips Full Of Mysterys Promise
Her Hair Bound, Crowned With Lustered Glory
A Smile To Die For . .
She Moves . . Sidhe Moves . . Like Poetry . .
Aie, Her Voice, Her Voice, Like Honey and Cream
Just a moment ago, it was just a moment ago
When love was a rose without thorns
Before tides of centuries tears
Swept us apart
Just a moment ago, it was just a moment ago
The glorious moment of our days glory
Our age of grace
Father in Time embracing Mothers Melodys Grace. .



INTO THE DARK
What does a candle remember . . .?
What does its flame recall . . .?

Aiee Aiee . . . Akhenaten Flee We  . . . Nefertiti Aieee Aieeeee
Flee . .Flee . . . Undone We . . . Betrayal. .Flee Flee
Akhenaten Akhenaten . . . Must Flee We . . . Wee Wans Take
Nefertiti Holds  . . . Flee We Must . . . Fleet . . . Flee Fleet . . .

Harps heart has chambers that sigh with grief
Ashes of roses burned with weeds
Remains of our loves day
Harps heart by hearts harp no music moved to test
Hall of memories by no one chorus caress
No whispered echo no candles smile no Nefertiti
NOW MY CITADELS HALL I MUST NEEDS MY IRE
RETREAT TO WHERE NEEDS MUST ABJURE DESIRE
Once more to recite survivals bitter creed
By heartstone embers to gnaw betrayals cold deed
WILL TO BEAR SILENT DEEP EMPTY DAY
HARP HEART STILLED
by no Nefertiti played.
Swastik Feb 2018
Like the stars glanced,
How far the wind blew.
Wherever I went,
I found there you.

Miles were you away,
But I found you so nigh.
Your twinkling I could see,
Though my flow not so high.

Icebergs of the sky,
They made you so far.
But I rained them down,
And reached you, o star.

Dropped then the sun,
Flew birds with their songs.
Our faces glimpsed with them,
I hoped it a little long.

The tones of those birds,
May with time, fade.
But not that song,
And love that they made.

May we live in heaven,
Or in world of desire.
Wherever we breathe,
We together respire.

You would glaze,
And I won't be seen.
But whenever you twinkled,
There I had been.
snipes Jun 2021
A star died in my eyes
A black hole in my iris
A light I thought I shined
Instead casts hazard alert signs

My horizon is lack lustered
The fall is an everlasting lost
I want to believe these eventful dreams
Are preparing me for the relative of death
Or maybe to rest on a point of no return
Such as my eyes looking too the past
As the iris collapses

These thoughts are micro
Yet weigh on me heavy
My eyes engulf aglow
Yet dream only sightly
I want to write a poem for
the sincerity of your fingers
the small silver stream that flows
from the edges of your forehead
to the ends of your hands
the thousands of cyan workers
digging the frets with their bare members
the breath that breeds forget-me-nots
on each rhythmic exhalation

I want to write a poem for
the gentleness of your fingers
the sky that blooms within
explosion after explosion - and then
crushes and then blooms again
the thirsty animals anticipating
patiently the rain
tightly embraced

I want to write a poem for
the taste of your fingers
salt, lustered shells and metal
from carcasses of boats
-one, two, three, four, five
six, seven, eight, nine, ten
forbidden fruits
for as long as this poem holds,
my very own.
Written in July 2017, conceived in a jazz concert
Rustling among his odds and ends of knowledge
Suddenly, to his wonder, Senlin finds
How Cleopatra and Senebtisi
Were dug by many hands from ancient tombs.
Cloth after scented cloth the sage unwinds:
Delicious to see our futile modern sunlight
Dance like a harlot among these Dogs and Dooms!
First, the huge pyramid, with rock on rock
Bloodily piled to heaven; and under this
A gilded cavern, bat festooned;
And here in rows on rows, with gods about them,
Cloudily lustrous, dim, the sacred coffins,
Silver starred and crimson mooned.
What holy secret shall we now uncover?
Inside the outer coffin is a second;
Inside the second, smaller, lies a third.
This one is carved, and like a human body;
And painted over with fish and bull and bird.
Here are men walking stiffly in procession,
Blowing horns or lifting spears.
Where do they march to? Where do they come from?
Soft whine of horns is in our ears.
Inside, the third, a fourth . . . and this the artist,--
A priest, perhaps--did most to make resemble
The flesh of her who lies within.
The brown eyes widely stare at the bat-hung ceiling.
The hair is black, The mouth is thin.
Princess! Secret of life! We come to praise you!
The torch is lowered, this coffin too we open,
And the dark air is drunk with musk and myrrh.
Here are the thousand white and scented wrappings,
The gilded mask, and jeweled eyes, of her.
And now the body itself, brown, gaunt, and ugly,
And the hollow scull, in which the brains are withered,
Lie bare before us. Princess, is this all?
Something there was we asked that is not answered.
Soft bats, in rows, hang on the lustered wall.
And all we hear is a whisper sound of music,
Of brass horns dustily raised and briefly blown,
And a cry of grief; and men in a stiff procession
Marching away and softly gone.
Hannah Gold May 2017
When Light craved your soul to see in kissing colors
as the evening envisioned to die in the dawn of depth,
when Soul lustered for learning, as blood bespoke to her bones
for building the star of flesh, when Time needed the resentment
of its ubiquity to be understood. The moment texture lured touch to
tease with a thousand sensations, when the labor of love sought a language
to express the extremes of its lips, as romance raged through the ravishing of
hardened hearts, when sorrow’s seduction made heroes of loving men and women.

When Justice is seduced to her innocent words,
as bravery battled the basic questions of conquest,
war demands a metaphor in the terror of its destruction,
as Faith finds resolutions to her problems in seconds,
Death wallows for relief and Life’s supercilious meaning upon its skyline.
When God wanted imagination to invent immaculate existence…
Poetry began, born as an eternal being,
because, the only vow of a Poet, is Passion!
**any suggested titles?**
DieingEmbers Dec 2012
Earthbound angel...

pray not weep
for lose of heaven

as I will show you
such love
and tenderness
as to rival even the beauty
of the stars
now hung lack lustered
in a forlorn sky...

let my tears reflect in mine own eyes
your pain

let them wash over you
and cleanse
from you
the sin done unto by others

let them be the waters of life
that bring you
such sweet succour
refreshing
tainted lips with renewed faith
in love and man

Bathe your soul within their depths
and know
though others sought to bring you diamonds
I will baptise and exorcise their daemons
from your mind

Earthbound Angel let me at least try
to heal thee.
𝐕𝐕 Oct 2020
Tragedy bestows the widowed sufferer.
Lustered in the cause of sheer beauty,
forlorn masks are shared generously.
when a widow suffers the remorse of tragedy, they have no choice but to share the same masks of the peers who present their condolences at a funeral.
nihiliti Jun 2018
fuzzy
glowed frozen
plop in the mind
like time
doesn't matter

picture on the wall
halls hollowed in grey matter
echo surreal
can't feel
but know

secret calling
soul's longing
wishing to away
to tomorrow
where nymphs
and the mythic play

malformed music
made not for ears
be fear that grows
deep in mind
and dredged in remembrance

spacetime slip
through wrinkle
dripping with dreams
and lustered lies
as we know
you don't

get out of your head, kid
Daydreams don't put bread on the table.
Cole Nubson Apr 2014
Growing words like a symphony sound the alarm
I can taste fear on the delicacy of your arm
Do not waste any of your faux charm
Such in impromptu little ******
is that faith you muster
or is it lustered
twisted in sync
to the sound of cuff links
driving to the mountain brink
The one who sits in front of my mind
The back seat of the car meanders behind
I dream that it forgets all the moments of crime
Kyle Hughes Feb 2014
I did it for you, why couldn’t you do it for me?

I lustered as any haughty teenager would over you, my secrete since I shared my cookies with you at school.

I risked it all and still kept my secrete, but can you “make” a secrete?

For awhile I thought it was just a friendship, of mutuality, and that’s why I invited you to my dreams.

I dream that I got you drunk, knowing you would be up for it, but what would I do after?

Would I let the walls melt away, and the lights dim, finally releasing myself.

Or would we just laugh, and go out into new towns finding any memories we could make as just “friends”
The stone lustered pink,
but in the lake, where I found it,
it destined to sink.

Only for a moment,
I held it in my hand.
And now, where it rests,
it holds my passions,
fears,
desires,
and plans.

It's like my heart sank to the bottom of the lake.

Really,
my lost object of affection
resides just off the beach.
But practically,
it lies
just out of my reach.

An ocean may as well separate us.

I won't ever find it.
And it won't try to find me.

I knew this piece of rose quartz
for such a short time.
I don't know where it came from.
I don't know who first had it,
and I don't know why
an unknown soul
left it for me to find.

I remember how it glistened
such a pure, perfect pink.
It had no inclusions, blemishes,
or defects I could seek.

That precious stone,
that I never got to know,
I'll never see again.
frankie Feb 2018
he's near sighted
everything from afar seems blurred and people seem to be
masses of motion in huddled crowds

he can see things up close
everything that's five feet in front gets noticed
i guess that why he never noticed me until i popped up on his phone screen
admiring from the mass of motion that he can't see

it's so easy
to fake a smile with him
i'll give him the signature "i'm dying inside and these tears aren't because i'm tired but look at these pearly whites" smile
and he'll belive it, but only because he can't really see  the falters in it

he's so pure
so golden
it makes me scared to hold
his hand because i wouldn't want to turn that gold black
or the diamond into coal
i'm scared he'll run if he ever saw my cold beating heart

he laughs when i shake, he jokes that i'm always cold
i mean what else would he think, i don't "look like someone with anxiety"
he thinks it's cute when i get all lustered and when my mind runs a mile a minute and that i worry consistently
but he doesn't know that these tendencies are due to the constant churing of gears in my head, working overtime and constantly leaking oil out
a working machine of overthinking

he doesn't know all of what makes me.. me
every flaw
every diagnosis
every scar
every puzzle piece  
every event
nor does he have to
he'll learn as time goes by
but for now he can think that i'm fine
Josh Pearson Aug 2019
Faded memory
Of warm light
And entrancing laughter
And conversation
Desiccated,
Devoured
By rusty decisions and
Time,
Eroded by weeping skies,
Banished behind
Locked doors and
velvet curtains—
Folding into myself
To keep out the cold;
The silence left in place of
Muffled laughter,
Drowning,
Suffocating emptiness,
Dissolved by endless grey
When it seems
All these moving parts inside
Are yearning for an escape.
Will there be anybody around
When time takes hold
As my soul drags behind
Out of control,
Bound by friction
Sparking from the ground,
Withering away
Into less than a whisper—
Into a shallow, bloodied river
Taking shape from the *****
Carving the mountainside,
As the eyes that stare
Are blinded
By the despair
Of the clock inside
Drained of its force?
I want to feel happy days
Just once more
Before the trough
Sets the tide
For the last time.
The timer is set,
As my brain stem
Rooted from a seed
Planted
Thoughts with intentions
To undo me.
I’m a lone wolf,
As not I was
But forced to be—
As everyone eventually
All will leave.
For stardust we are,
And will return.
Why not sooner
Than Fate's watch predicted?
What is the point
If a universe vast
Sews insignificance
Into a soul gone astray?
A heartbeat of strain,
An aneurysm of suicide,
A fractured spine,
Of one
Attempting to be Atlas,
As the weight of the world
Collapses,
And nobody is there
To help bear the burden,
To offer a hand.
If to stardust we shall return
In this heat-death wave,
And if alone a life is spent,
The point is not;
It is all just a waste.
Empty spaces are buried
Eventually,
With the inevitability
Of our signs
Which used to have
Highs and lows,
That soon will cancel out
Into a plateau.
Hands creep to fists
Maniacally holding in
The impulse decision.
Terrified with rage,
On the brink of
An out of body escape,
Yet the universe in question remains.
A sky-bent feeling,
As nothing is certain,
And the dirt caves beneath,
Reminiscing in this moment
As the sky fades,
And the fall sets in
Before the break.
Is there anybody out there
Or am I alone
Again in this
Claustrophobic empty box
Lashing out?—
Giving way to the silence
With voices beckoning fists
Against the floor,
The walls.
My cross-eyed head
Tossed into insanity
Virtually proliferating palpability.
Alone fixating around
The point out there
In the stars
Staring down,
As the insignificance begins to ensue
From the audacity to look up,
When feeble heartbeats write
The bombshells battering.
In this eulogy,
I can escape.
For, the loss of one
Is enough to inspire many,
To briefly give rationality
Instead of insanity,
But turbulent tides
Ripple the shoreline
Of friends,
Of family
Gathered at a presence
Now gone
Into the deep
Of Mirkwood,
Where nothing is ever certain.
For, if the path is lost,
Never one
Can find it
Again
Is there anybody out there,
Or is it all a dream—
A simulation,
Or some shattered, harsh reality?
Nothing is certain—
Just bent on hermeneutics
And epistemology,
Wasting the nights and days
As time beelines away.
Hysteria eating the populous
On a sun-burnt earth,
Whose skin begins to drought
As the primary of the system,
The sun,
Begins its red giant phase
Cleaning the slate,
Without a doubt.
Shortening of breath,
There emerges a flame,
Burning all oxygen left
As every breath inevitably
Digs at one’s own grave.
This—
Is the way the world ends,
In an inflexible game
Of end times,
Of no escape.
In night terrors,
This new reality was forged—
The origins of the pain
And the fear
Caught by a thousand
Staring eyes
That used to understand,
And now are turned.
The nightmares
And this rage,
Throughout these years
I have held deep within,
Now depart from the hold
Because the strength I don’t have
To save them
From who I am anymore.
I am a Jinchuriki,
And this demon inside
Is slowly tearing through
Muscle and bones,
Exposing nerves.
I’m bleeding out
With nobody around
Because I can only speak
In euphemisms
To drown out
These signs,
So that I don’t have
To accept the gravity
Before the grave.
The fear swells underneath
As the skin
Becomes marred,
Eventually splitting
Apart
Into
An ‘existence’
That would make
That choice of word
A paradox.
This time,
The sky fades to black
As the loss
Of everything that
Could have been
Slips through my fingers
Like sand
In a hourglass
Ticking away
My last night.
In this room,
Not a lot it would take
To make anyone
Peel out of being tame,
Fill with poison,
Let out screams
That not even the best
Can fake.
With these walls,
Hallucinations take over
When I realize that
The ones I trusted
Put me here
In this place—
This white roomed
Institution.
All I love
Is out of my grasp,
Tormenting my failures
Through the bright light
Of the room,
As if they think
A physical light
Will transpose a mental one.
Is there anybody out there?
Because it won’t be long now
After this soul once admired,
Becomes lustered,
As the signs become chronic,
Philosophy becomes strained,
And the look of denial
Deep in the windows
That stare within
Are enough alone
To bury me;
Will anybody ever really stay?
It’s hard to wake up
From dreams that cast
Such a dark shadow
On even living here.
So I stay up all night
Because what’s the point
Of dreaming
When the only change
Is the calendar day,
When still,
Frames paint the past,
The straitjacket sews the facts,
And nothing’s fine.
264 lines
Mikaela L Oct 2020
Nothing,
Nothing compares...
To the sight of a cold corpse,
Dry tulips atop a lustered rectangle,
A box for the truth,
A cell for the dead,
The sound of bells from a nearby wedding,
The cries of babies on tired arms,
The smell of a dusty church,
Burning in the middle of a December afternoon.

I hold a rosary,
More for the living than for the dead,
For the living are often dead,
And the dead are often living,
Maybe we'll meet someday,
Say your last goodbye,
It's time to go,
Bury the dead,
Go on with the living,
Hide the truth under the soil,
But know that it will grow again,
You'll see it in fresh cut tulips,
The white sun will remind you,
The breeze will whisper my name,
Syllable by syllable,
My name will haunt you.
My identity has been questioned countless times, and, while I try to be strong and go on with my life, I always end up listening to critics who seem to know what I should be like. In this poem, I speak of the death of my identity and its rebirth. It lives without me...
rm Jul 2020
hardly embraced
by the
darkest memories
he can never
rid himself with.

softly clamoured
by the
endless disgrace
and disdain
she left
his arms.

bewildered
and mesmerized
by the simple
things
he made,
it was ephemeral.

lustered
with bits
of sparkle
left in his eyes
through the glares
of "she" which sullied the
plain, beautiful sky
and cries.

— The End —