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Leone Lamp Apr 2021
Last night, I was exploring sensuality
******* an inkling at the basis of reality
Nibbling the earlobe of the next global catastrophe
Can you smell the Earth as she moans in total ecstasy?
The Universe reciprocates and ******* a galaxy
We're all in this together
And not inconsequentially
Today I learned that consensually is not a word, and I think I'm better off for it. The last line had been "And I hope it is consensual(ly). As my love just reminded me, none of us are here because we wanted to be. That was someone else's decision.
~2010
13 Feb 2015
It has laid patiently in the recesses of my phone waiting for its day of glory. And 7 months of gestation has finally birthed diligence.
Besides it’s high time I tell this story otherwise I’m just going to (intentionally) forget and never write about it.

   * 11th Feb 2014 - 20th Feb 2014.

This isn’t merely an account of my journey to the beautiful south (my native) but also a personal record of my thoughts during my stay there. If things don’t seem to fit, you’re making the mistake to trying to make sense.

[raw/unedited - start of log]


!) *
Getting there
: Last night I opened the compartment door to an old man wetting himself with his lungi lying at his feet. Like a busted tap, trickling down his draws, he stood there in a decadent mix of ecstasy and shame.
I held open the door to let him pass.
I can’t say for sure if he saw my disgust seeping from the lines on my face, but I tried my level best to act indifferent. I am good at it.
Incapable of relieving oneself in one’s hour of need? I’d rather be dead. My stupid pride wouldn’t let me live another day.
The next morning we happened to get off closer to our destination than we intended. So did gramps. The stubborn mule, despite his aged regression and insanity wanted to get to the next platform by walking over the tracks. And like a Saturday night drunk he fell and laughed and drooled until he got what he wanted. **** me to hell if I see the day that I walk in those shoes.
There is nothing else I’d hate more.

@) There is where?: Welcome, this is day one. Boredom.
Stuck somewhere in the middle of ignorance and bliss. Con-*******-fused about my place here. It’s slow. Things are slow here. That much I know.

#) Blend: Sleepless smelly nights with the things that should not be. Asleep at last, half past 3. Awake again within 6 hours, no less, to a breakfast late enough to be breaking bad on me. Ants bit me, indigestion ****** me. Noises haunted, I was daunted.
Literally, everything is coconut oil. Last night it felt like a coconut took a crap in my mouth and its byproducts came out my rear end—or did they?

$) Relate: So I have a cousin sister here. Two actually and a handful of brothers too. I finally know something of the other side. I’m strangely liking this. Just knowing is enough it seems. I’m not a good brother.

%) Drift: A dead, calm, quiet night. The silence is almost overwhelming. Even the crickets can’t break through the static. [Sitting under a waxing moon on a lush green lawn surrounded by trees and vibrant silhouettes of the night sky] Such natural beauty freely available without demand. Who wouldn’t be lazy? The mosquitoes.
During the rains, the visual quality of this place reaches heavenly heights. And that should give you a fairly good idea of how stunning this place is the rest of the time. It’s only February.
If I lived here I’d never be the same. Good or bad? I choose not to wonder. But while I’m here, I’m going to soak all that I can in. I suddenly see so many different ways life could go by stepping out of my own comfort zone. It’s Ironic. But then all good wisdom is wasted upon amateur blabber that only soothes the soul momentarily. Nothing profound or earth shattering comes from the realization. Ah, there’s that comfort zone.

^) Halt: I can see why they call Kerala ‘God’s own country’, Because everything stays the same as though that’s how it was meant to be. 40 years or 50, makes no difference. The natural order of things here stays unchanged. It’s the opposite of how Bombay works. You can’t turn a blind eye for two seconds in fear of losing something that won’t alter your life inconsequentially. Yes.
Here, I could leave all my valuables outside the house for a week and no one would even bother. I may have exaggerated but not by much.

&) Eggo: This ‘person’ I’m with is insufferable. Good, great and jolly when HE chooses to be but a first class ******* the rest of the time. Makes me wish I wasn’t born to choke on his arrogance and idiocy. Whoever stuck that tree trunk up his *** must have had reasons I could relate with. This is all the love I can express. It’s hard to admire someone so narrow minded and primitive. I won’t lead, neither will I follow. Ego will meet eggo.

) No excuse: So I can be left at the table alone for as ******* long as it takes for me to finish, but for this man’s tantrums, for the impolicy his *lonely dinner creates (which he prefers, DAILY, back home) I have to oblige and start when he says so, only to have him leave when my plate isn’t even half empty, with a casual, “take your time” mental punch to the back of my head as though there’s nothing wrong with this whole ******* scenario.
Thankfully, all of this was succeeded by a full, beautifully bronze tinted moon floating in a cloudless ocean of sparkling diamonds and weeping crickets still struggling to overpower the silence; failing miserably.
I wouldn’t mind sitting here alone forever but alas, not all things are this easy. And this night will again wilt into day and the sad fight will spoil or be forgotten, conveniently. Eventually you learn, they all fester.

() Sugamano? (how are you?): My bowel movements have yet to reach an agreement with my diet. My cousin is going to teach me Malayalam through mail. Somehow I approve of this despite the several offers that I have declined from my friends in the past. Maybe I’m glad that my family just got bigger. It’s very important that I realize and cherish my ties. Who knows? I might end up being a nobody and moving here when I’m all withered and choked up with regret as a failure in denial.

!)) BAA BAA BOO BOO: My cousin’s kid. He looks a bit like me when I was that age. Wait, he isn’t even of age. He’s freaking 9 months and he’s crawling, rolling, slapping, pulling, strangling, screaming and imitating words people say around him that he can barely pronounce. I want to eat him. He’s cuter than anything I’ve ever seen. He’s gonna be a lady killer if he doesn’t go black (like most mallus do).

!!) Bliss: Classical night sky… Twinkles dance to the grand tune. Fireflies fall like stars, confusing senses to enthrall with exquisite precision. Feel the cosmos swallow thoughts and words as they mean nothing at all. If the sky shifted now, gravity would take a hike. And sooner than it takes for realization to set in, this world would become peaceful again.

!@) Role playing: The elephants are sight seeing on the backs of trucks. Humans are the escorts for these mammoths here. No more show business for these executives. They make sure the men serve as the slaves they own.

!#) Saving memories: I am a man who has forgotten how to smile. Even my tears can throw on a better performance for the mirror that breaks me. I have to force and instant’s glee to burst one out. I cannot hold joy as tightly as I do hatred or sadness. Family photos are the worst. I have to conjure a series of mental comical disasters only to maintain a smile that is fit for a *******. And that is on my best day. Every other day, however, it seems as though I’m constipated.
I spent the most awesome day today with my cousins who I barely knew 5 days ago. Although I haven’t spoken to them freely due to the language barrier it nevertheless feels like home. They’ve been thinking about me all the years we’ve been apart. Now it’s my turn to think about them. And it’s going to take quite a strong blow to the head to erase these wonderful memories I’ve had the pleasure of creating with them in my short stay here.

!$) Reasons: Valappad beach. If there is any place I would love to go to relax, to party, to be lost in thought and marvelous beauty for hours, to ******* OD and die, that would be the place. The beach stretches on forever. Horizon to horizon of clean white sand and foamy water. You could build castles as tall as skyscrapers in this sand. Gorgeous plantations just before on the shore line. Goa fails in comparison. With an enormous sky looming overhead and the ocean that appears to fall off the horizon you can’t help but wonder how such a natural work of art sustains itself. It doesn’t. The locals here do. All the trash from the beach is brought back inland so that there are no compromises with respect to visual ******. The ****** grains hug your feet and as soon as you hit the water you’re done for. It brings back a surge of euphoria that only your first spliff of hash would give you otherwise. I would give up the stash in a heartbeat for this fix. I wouldn’t mind being this high for the rest of my life.

[end of log]
Photo album - https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.281730165316786.1073741828.100004394136866&type;=1&l;=95d4f52703
Posted on September 29, 2014
Aseh Dec 2012
You are drinking yourself red-eyed and crumpled
on an unmade bed meanwhile I
am hating the world’s promiscuity and signing
autographs that serve no alternate purpose
subsequent to their ink-blotted conceptions and silently
my heart scratches and claws and penetrates
bone, muscle, and choked fat
to get to you

How will we know
when we’re no longer
young enough
to inconsequentially
rot our bodies
from the inside
out?

If I could
I would search for a space
impenetrable
by ants molecules and medium-sized atoms
that exists between
my pale finger tips and
your freckled
bare back moving
slowly up and down

If I could
I would be somewhere where nothing
is the tarnished byproduct of anything
where no one will remind anyone not to
clog their throats or minds or eyes
when they
shiver and choke on scarlet inkblots
and chug gasoline
and wipe away dirt stains
and drink each other’s shame
and form cuts on the soles of their feet
after rushing barefoot through beds of sharp stones
to reach other
Nat Lipstadt Jun 2024
“Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more”
(Henry V, by WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE)

Morning into Mourning

<>

I speak it softly, for though battlefield is steeped in quietude
of the lively greenery, endless lawns of healing fields
surrounded by multitudinous shades of blue waters,
my eyes piercing , joining in
as sunrising separates the veil
dividing light from dark, new from prior,
a went-before and a
soon-to-be
and a familiar-what-to-be-hereafter,
but a skyed breech it is,
with sun ray stairs inviting my
upright ascension into this newness

Welcoming the exposure of my trembling, though it is not fear that causes my shaking, but the colored warmth barely warming, yet,
stoking, stroking the drape of chill
away, away! from my night-sealed pores

the majestic surfacing of the waters peinture impasto, with its roughened but genteel thick, dabs, dots, swirls, swishes belie the overall atmosphere of calm it conveys, and Shakespeare’s rallying cry of men rises to the mind forefront, for the bay is my battlefield,
the day’s new light the breeching of the sky’s
envelopment of our world, summons to rise and
step forward intimately into the tableau of morning

into the breech, into the unknown,
to lift one more poem from breast,
shed tears of welcome, and death fears banished,
a battle to the unknown from the foretold past,
and, but


you shout
no!
<>
tis a day like all others,
of rectitude sans gratitude
another quantity of known drudgery, another,
“Woke up, fell out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup”

The breach is within me,
a splitting of the head,
laid flat out upon my desk,
writing down scrupulously
officiously,
the same figures inconsequentially,
letters deranged, daily merely rearranged,
prison vista,steel and glass appearing with
the same exactitude of every day ever prior,
the sun invisible, the unceasingly unchanging
dark deep of the shadowy of manmade canyons…

speak to us no more of views, vistas,
but the fistulae, the empty places
where interconnected dots and dash’s,
light and ombre blends of dark ochre  
gradations of bland de~gray~ding
are our time’s patchworks of familiarity,
cursed with annualized daily reciprocity,
a *** for a tat,
a woolen watch cap,
a  black Balaclava,
drawn over our heads
lest the drudgery be too readily apparent!


<>
mere mortal am I,
mortal wounded by our disparate
and desperate differing points
of view,
and we split ourselves in two,
hoping for a way forward of
reconciliations,
successful hostage negotiations,
pushing these contradictions,
back inside my heads,
until confronted
once again,
and find new words coming,
to bind me of the divisions between
or even,
to blind
me to the gaps between
my left and right
brain.

for I am both men,
one and the same,
forever
battling


until the morrow, then…
morning into mourning
June 14 2024
tween 3:30 AM ~ 10::00 AM
fitful sleep, fistfuls of vision's pieces
Anderson M Feb 2015
Her angelic voice
Assaults the air waves
A kiss’s Supplanted on her lips
Inconsequentially.
Her irresistibly luscious lips
in a luxuriant luminescent sheen
cause my mind a myriad flips
hope my interruption of her melodious croon isn't much of a scene(sin).
.
whenever you feel
inconsequentially small
remember one thing:
the period.

a dark pixel
a tiny nuanced dot
that manages to
transform everything.

"I'm fine"
becomes "I'm fine."
"Okay"
becomes "Okay."

but perhaps the most painful
of all is to see
"goodbye"
change into "goodbye."
it's over...
K D Kilker May 2015
Dying is not the real pain.
The real pain is living inconsequentially
futilely, while others forbid you to die,
but forbid you feel earnestly;
seeing a whole unblemished person,
but little do they know
I am already dead.

#

It's not my pain that disgusts them,
it's the cutting
and that's why they treat the symptoms
but neglect the cause
and forbid me to talk about her
because the sound of her name
makes you regret me.

#

I AM MATURE:
I am new and improved and dead.
This was written on the back of a folded statistics assignment in English 107 my freshman year. The first two poems are heavy-handed (not my usual poetry, but I felt sometimes that I couldn't express myself). However, the last one is short and vague. My then-boyfriend said his friends thought I was much more mature than I was when I first met him at seventeen, but I felt that I had just grown afraid of people.

(Coming of Age - K. D. Kilker) Years of handwritten poetry and stories will be typed for safekeeping online following a technological failure in 2013. I am currently twenty-one and the pieces range from the age of fourteen to nineteen. They may not be good, but they are revealing.
A lover pulled night toward me
Obscuring blind monotony
Those too-harsh rays,
The day-to-day malaise of living

As her silver, moon-lake body haplessly suppressed
My initial force of life
The seeds I kept hidden from view
Were strewn among her faulty self, where
They began to crop up thickly

Splitting rocks
In her center’s harsh asymmetry
They marred that once delightful face
If inconsequentially
But as her orbit wanes ahead,
Like a crashing moon with star tattoos
Her beauty will veer and fall away,
Then
I’ll be moist and will not wither in the heat always
Instead I’ll shiver and I’ll wonder
Why the sun is gone today
MMXI
annh May 2020
I want to fall into myself - to leave should’s, must’s,
and need to be’s scattered inconsequentially in my wake.

I want to dive deeply - to loosen my shoulders,
relax my arms, and slacken my griping fingers.

I want to uncoil my imagination - to revel in a crystal night sky,
a cool breeze, and a pink moon rising.

I want to meet the nomad - solitary, suspended in a sky-borne
playa, and blazing a trail to infinity.

'In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion.'
- Albert Camus, The Myth of Sisyphus and Other Essays
jeffrey robin Oct 2010
and the bleak terrain
we try too hard to be inconsequential

...we succeed too well....

the dark ***** children
(the consequences)

are not to be
trivialized

the imagery is of busted bodies
and of dogs
wandering about in cowardice

as we we proceed
inconsequentially

day by day

(yes we do)
n White Aug 2014
the skeletons smile
within their cave
teasing the treasure
hidden in the nave
their playful happiness rattles
inconsequentially
the games they play
are no torment to me
i know the location
and centre on the sphere
maintaining a presence
by the treasure so near
Kristen Lowe Jul 2014
The shiny white bottom of this bathtub - this is my defeat
And the way the water drowns out the final things I'm muttering to only myself
The way water droplets hit the wall like bullets as I try to shake these razorblades out of my head
How they all just fall and shatter so inconsequentially
And the stickiness of my ******, impenetrable sanity
Creeping towards the drain like liquid eloquence
Writing out the end of my story because I'm all out of chapters

The end.
(archive)
Max Barsness Jan 2019
I have tried to embraced death once
It had left me numb
Turned out
Oliver twisted & entranced
No tingle
No storybook hope
For a reunion with love
Tuppenance or parlance
Of a mum tongue

Left alone
Responsible
For my actions
Of course
& the actions of those before me
Re-course undoubtedly
Them that dost the shaping
The future representatives
Left Inconsequentially

I imagine what kindling kinship must think
Of my timely deliverance
& movement
How sorry they felt
Discarding my relevance
Like an apple fallen
Far from the tree & left in sight of bruising

Not enough baggage
I am afraid
For the life
Alone
Absent to the words
Without her
Pre-setting & upsetting my dial tone
& how I came to find me
Losing bout to bout
When facing failure & the unknown
Buried in that water
Like the stomach & lungs of the forgotten
Gasping for air in the murk
Choking on chipped teeth & promises
Inaudible moan

Stillness
Have yet to touch death
Only been manipulated
By It's fiery folds
In that water
Beneath the moss
Lies that certainty
I will never know
For who does this child belong too
& I am still just a nervous kid
In lackadaisical search of atonement
Afraid of his own place in the universe
The state
The town
This conversation
& that moment

That which brought you
To your
How can I say resting place
You do not nap
You take loans out on heart strings
You were taken from the factory line
Post haste
Unfit for full scaled production
Shoveled
& packaged antiquity
Into that burden laced case
Left beneath a woman
Or above the boy
You never could face

No it doesnt help to think
Every map I disregarded
Every opportunity to love
I avoided
Cause of me & myself & the departed

But maybe I know
Something you don't
I am alive
& still full of the shocks
& pangs
Shocks of what I will
The pangs of what I won't
wordvango Apr 2015
where  what is
(left)
to do (right):
this
expectant journey;
this between
the dawn yellow;
before the violet nights?

except, construct
innocuous
inconsequentially
Rubic cube spiels,
send
myself off  into
eternity.

(unto) the
mausoleum;
dig my grave:
before my last breath?
The autonomous;
casket maker:
asks?
Surbhi Dadhich Mar 2019
What nips in a bud is novelty
Unconventional, perturbed
What skyrockets is conservatism
Stimulated by critical dissent
What inconsequentially bursts out
Is then societal haemorrhage and paralysis..
mike Mar 2017
I have no fear in me anymore. It is a lethargy that I have consumed and henceforth absorbed in the particulated mass that meets my body which meets the floor.
And the state that I'm in I can only inconsequentially float upon the high air masses that float upon the wings of my Shore. I am not scared. I am not there where you want me to be when I am there for me to be nothing more. It is a great watermelon dropping from the sky and opening its mouth wide to consume me. But I am no fruit for anyone. I don't care what your genetics say. I don't care if youre genetics tell me where to take my goals. I am the genetic heir. I am the genetic soul. Anything that you've obtained from this isn't something you've obtained it's something you stole.
somewhere our universe is ending
while we bicker inconsequentially
from our highs to our lows
all our joys and our woes are over
while we wait for the light to see
c = me 2
Dan Hess Jul 2019
Inconsequentially manifested
Proliferated; undefined, and unattested
Regurgitated, made to be insanity
-indeed- a redigested infrastructure
cannot save humanity
We have to be a family
To make our own prosperity
be proud to be what you refuse to see in you and me
And I can't breathe,
it's overwhelming to believe
what we achieve without further discretion,
no obvious direction,
time showing a reflection of infection
or a massacre or maybe just old age
but when we age we get weaker
and feel deeper
think we were more before
but I can see what we become
is an example of our past.

Who makes you who you are if you're always changing?
And where would you be without yourself?
What comes after death?
And is there a heaven or hell?
Or just a system of realities which are constantly rearranging?
And is there god?
What is the mind, and what are the odds that we exist as such intelligent creatures?
And what does life teach?
How do you define importance?
What does waging war solve?
There really are no answers; even while we're curing cancer countless lives are being lost.
And at what cost?
And where's the man in charge of all the death?
Where's my cut of the check?
Where are these dreams I was promised?
I do not take it personally
That you view me
So inconsequentially
Silly and frilly and spilly my guts
While you sit in gilded ruts
But who am I to judge or complain?
You and I, we ain’t the same
Despite my misguided illusion
And ignorant confusion
It ain’t you for me
And it ain’t me for you
And if I say it enough
I might believe it, too

— The End —