The world is in full color, the sky still sporting tones of pink as it grows dark
every word spoken is like a tiny love note to me, i wonder if im too sentimental
ive got galaxies in my heart and im afraid of all the stars burning out too fast (talk about heartburn,,,,,,, hah)
maybe one day we'll all go to space together
what do diamonds shine like on the surface of the moon?  
11 pm, watching the cars go by
ive never been a fan of light pink until i realized it felt like home
love feels like pastel colors, like the comforting presence of the moon in the night sky, the calm quietness of underwater
is it possible to die from cheesiness?
im worried i might start throwing up glitter (even though that would look pretty cool)
everything feels lighter and softer than usual
it almost feels as if im surrounded by bubbles
youre like crystals, beautiful and perfect no matter what shape or form
and im floating on air
im going to cry? but in a good way
everything feels like pastel colors and sparkles and so much sugary-sweetness its almost TOO much but not quite
filed under: "Love Aesthetic (tm)"
im going to literally scream and explode into rainbow confetti
im so gay

Dear AK.S,

I wanted to write you poetry, but my words fail when it comes to you, but my heart revives when i think of you,and i still don’t know why you call me the queen of cheesiness,surprising name.
I wanted to coat our times with synonyms and rhymes and metaphors,but when comes to us, simplicity is the beauty.
Simplicity might not be beautiful to you, but i hold it like like a fragile flower plucked from its ***, and put in a vase,with water, mere water, what is water in front of dreams.
And you have known my dreams circling around new york and road trips from the beginning and i have known your dreams, around chasing boys and the boys who circle around you like man-eating lions, since the beginning, yes, i disapprove of every boy you have ever liked, but YOU held me tight when i drowned in the hopelessness of these dreams, and i hugged you, and ranted about how they were foolish frogs, little *****, as we blocked them on Facebook and they floated away like clouds, their lanes got cut-off from our highways.
We have danced with flaming fire ,and danced ,jumping across barbed wire and we have danced with cunning liars, and times have made us dance to beats that deafen out hearts,
And we have screamed and shouted, in the club like maniacs chasing after beats,and out of club like we have just lost limbs , like Britney spears and will.i.am not at all like them.
And dare i forget, the coffee trips and song tags, nine inch nails,to t swizzle, macchhiato to java mocha chip we have covered them all, we have dreamt of texan to cali beaches and we have dreamt of those new york skyscrapers and apartments all white filled with Bukowski and Lang Leav, we have lived on the edge and lived with the mainstream,
We have lost it all, like distorted bouquet, and we have forgotten all the love and given out aré hearts to people to rip the pictures of each other inside of us, and we have fought and fought brutal civil wars, and world wars with nuclear bombs to have to all back, to have it all back,

WHY?

WHY?

Because no one can compare to you, to the words you say, even if sometimes they are like requests of candy crush game, no one could make me as happy as you do even if our bad days are like a B-grade horror movies, and i am pretty sure are, you have no one that talks as much *** as do, so you only keep me around to hear my wild fantasies, but our good days are better than 90’s rom-coms.
We hurt the ones we love, inevitable, and regretful, but we burn and scatter the ashes of those moment for those we know we wouldn’t be better off with,   and i have burnt countless chocolate molten lava cakes to come up with the perfect gooey one for you.
In all honesty darlin ,this final attempt did come out perfect, it needs a little finesse on the edges but we can sort that out, we have won, we have won wars that they haven’t seen ,and when they look us like we are made of stars, they could not even reach, i know, I know travelling 10 light years and all these meteors shooting through me , the gruesome struggle to reach the stars has been worth it.
I wanted to write you sonnets that will do down in posterity and sing you pitch perfect love songs in front of millions, and graffiti your face in thousands of brick walls throughout the landmasses,
                                                            but all i have is this love which grows like wildfire,
                                                          which I hope is enough for this lifetime.
SO PLEASE STAY,EVEN IF WE MOVE TO DIFFERENT CITIES NEXT YEAR.

I PROMISE TO **** ALL THE WASPS AND SPIDERS THAT FIND THEIR WAY IN FOR YOU.

Love, V.J

It's not when we met
because nothing comes to mind.

It's not all the times you made me laugh
you, me, us, we, rolling around on the warm beach sand
because nothing comes to mind.... right?

The faint kisses on cheeks and whispers
of sweet cheesiness...
nothing. comes. to. mind.

What I do remember is the present, not the past.
It's the way we pass each other
without saying a word,
memories locked away, greetings and questions
kept in an air-tight chest.

I've gotten a taste of my own medicine,
you could say perhaps.
A heartbreaker with a brokenheart.

Lately, I’ve been feeling a little light headed. No, I’m okay. I don’t have a condition or anything. I just feel like my world is slowly collapsing. Every time I try to fix things and somehow getting good, the universe will do a huge clap back and smack me in the face.

Lately, I’ve been feeling a little useless. Just when I thought I’m doing an excellent job at work, it came to a point that they have to let me go because of personal issues and choices. “You’re good but...” There’s always a but. But should be my middle name in other lifetime. It suits me well.

Lately, I’ve been feeling very insecure. My girlfriend loves me, I know that. But sometimes I feel like she can’t express so much of a feeling like how she used to express it to her ex-girlfriend. When we started dating, I stalked my girlfriend for fun and I saw posts and letters and all that kind of crap how she loves her and how every single second is important when talking to her. She even right the call details in a ******* notebook with all the hearts and smileys and all cheesiness. Me, on the other hand, being mad at for being demanding for asking more phone calls. (she’s working milessss away, btw).

Lately, I’ve been feeling a little betrayed. My mother, who is supposed to keep me safe and warm based on the world’s rule, messed with my life. She placed me in a very difficult position and now people are hunting me away. My cousins, who are my very best friends as well, turned their backs on me because of what my mother did. They even back stab me during dinners that I’m not around. Referring to me as “she’s like her mom”

Lately, I’ve been feeling… Lost. I have nobody to turn to. I have nothing to do. I always tell myself to “Focus on what I can control. But now… I don’t have control about anything anymore.

You have had your heart broken more than once,
Just as you have had fallen in love more than once...
And even when it's very likely that the cycle will repeat itself
Sometime in the future,
Remember that what can break a heart can fix it
And what goes through a painful ending can go back
To a beautiful beginning.

And whether you've given up on love
Learned to re-define love in a less dramatic way
Or looked at relationships in a more realistic way,
Debunked Maslow's hierarchy of needs by putting love at the tip of the triangle;
And when you watch those soppy movies you pretend to just laugh at how the cheesiness can never work in the real world!

The truth is that, there is always....always
A soft side of you willing to unleash itself,
To take the leap of faith.
To love boldly.

When and if only true love gives you that moment.

Alive
with a white fire
with the angel's sword
with cliches
and cheesiness

you're running through silicon valley
with your wide blue eyes tearing people to pieces
and putting them back together

drink them like your ocean

You acrobat, Death's jaw has dropped to the floor
soon in your millionaire car
and your diamond fingers on the wheel
you can take on the emptiness of this all
and make it shine

I shouldn't be swallowing the sweet sizzling pop beverage,
Why am I biting into a sweet glazed donut goodness?
I must not smack and crunch on the chips that ruffle in the bag,
Just couldn’t resist the creamy, sugary, ice cream that was left in the bowl.
I shouldn’t be dipping my food into the hot cheesiness,
I need to stop whipping the cream on everything I eat.
Why do I chew voraciously with meaty greasy devil burgers?
I can’t stop digging my fork into the rich flaky cake.
The days go by and I keep pulling out potato salt thin fries out the container,
Every day I grab a strip or two of thin, crunchy, meaty flavored bacon illness.
I need to reject the bad double cookies that fill my mouth,
Stop reaching for those greasy hard-shell tortilla tacos.
Need to resist the temptation of powder crisp doughy funnel cakes,
Stop licking my lips every time I savor a chewy sweet caramel chocolate bar.
Why can’t I stop grabbing handfuls of tiny fruity demon skittles?
I must back away from the calories, the gluten, the salt, the fat.

I need to stop eating junk.

Sitting amidst a world of beauty,
Of rolling mountains, winding rivers, roaring oceans,
Of crystal blues and emerald greens,
You are still the only thing on my mind.
Capturing my thoughts.
Constraining my ideas.
Because the Pfeiffer
Only reminds me of you yet
It doesn’t even compare to the striking blue
of your eyes.
And the entirety of the scene I sit in is incomparable to your splendor.
Oh how I wish you were here.
Beside me,
Gazing upon these sights
As I gaze upon you.
And if I could stay here,
In all of this wondrous creation,
Forever,
But that forever was without you,
Than I would chose to leave,
To storm out of the absurdity.
If this place is breathtaking than you have suffocated me,
Stealing more air from my lungs than this world ever could.
I crave you.
I crave your laugh and the smile that follows,
I crave your grasp and your warmth,
I crave the words that pour from your lips.
Oh your lips.
May I feel their kiss that floods my body from head to toe?
It is limerence with you.
Why do you have the hold on me that you do?
Even your flaws,
They drive me insane,
The insane where nothing else can be done because you
Are all that I am on.
You upstage these cliffs and outshine these stars.
The glow radiating from this sunset takes me back to the glow of your skin,
That first roped me in, and has since refused to let go.
And as these sand fleas hop from grain to grain
Your image hops around in my brain
And I cannot wait to sleep,
For morning will bring a new day and that new day may carry your voice with it
And place it in my ever-craving ear.
Hurting to hear your beauty that is triumphant
Over the sound of these slow rolling waves.
As cheesy as this may be,
The cheesiness you deem to hate,
I write all of this,
Which your eyes may never see,
Your ears never hear,
Your hands never touch,
Simply to say…
I miss you.

I want to take you away from your situation

and put you in my arms on the warm beach.

I wanna wake up to you taking photos of our flowers

and listen to you hum as I sweep the floors of our flower shop.

I want to make us dinner after being on the beach all day

and tell you how pretty you look with sea salted and messy hair.

I wanna watch you paint a picture of our cat and ferret

and make us tea and coffee because we both can’t sleep.

I want to take your hand as we dance in between flowerboxes

and gently lead you around our home as we laugh about the cheesiness of it.

"It feels like swallowing nails for saying this-- but for you, I wanted all that cliche, Valentine's day cheesiness. On any other day, for any other person, I would puke my guts out and rather **** myself than be a girl with hearts for eyes and roses for sleeves. I never thought I'd want what other couples had that I scoffed at, condemned, ridiculed and spited because for the longest time i thought I was too good for all of that... until i met you. Right then, I realized that the only thing worse than shaming people for what they had was falsely glorifying my own loneliness as something grand was that there  was nothing worse than loving without being loved back."

When I licked on my fingertips, I could taste the saltiness and the cheese of the popcorn I had just ate,
The saltiness and the cheesiness made me very thirsty,
Water was the only beverage that could quench my thirst.

Dear cheese,

I love your cheesiness,
I love how you swag with your flavours.
I love how you can be dress in so many ways.
And I especially love how you melt when you touches my tongue.

Love,
Human

This is possible.
Soul possession in owned patience, no mortgage,
no refi,
pieced together idle words,
used and abused, reused
food for thought
gleaned and horded patience.
All redeemed, for full worth in your eye.

What all we know, forms, in patience
fire,
for instance,
not long ago, you know, fire
was
craft, the making of it, was magic
as anything
witnessed, seen and attested to by two
or twelve or twenty, however many

five hundred, okeh, 500 miles walking,
while 2 seemed too far,
patience, life is a test, you are the best at
resisting
the gottabe this
way
mine,
my child, my future seed sown, grown wild,
twisted
espelliered, oh so, there was a wall
around the garden, which
was there for a reason
in the story,

oh, so many stories in ever are untold.
s'cool, we got contingency mods

we are ready, right? You read a whole lot to be
ready, when now happens

as if the story took a million years to arrive at
now, your page, or chapter, or name, just

your name, after your ears fell off, there
you found it, in the bibliography of the book of life

as listed in the amazon cloud. Chronos order.

First test to ever after now, what is the Gebser handle on it?
The Ever-Present Origin.

-- stop flash 2021 link to the as youwere a mazda, the name,
thing spread-winged thing on a wheel with a stiffened spiral,
****** media image in ever now, that symbol, bird with too wide wings
on a unicycle with spiral spokes in some
iterations, then
leafing branch tree structuring shape
spokes
in a wheel in a wheel,
gears and wheels to balance time and worth
the ef- fort if I can okeh
I kan das  sig gefun den
dat
dare
straight center outer way oomphala always starts
in any seed or ideal encompassing all the information needed
the zoroastrian symbol is related… at the avian level of sci-use, lizard brain, where t-cells train,
art instituted entertain ment, tthis is us sorta
see the totem, see the flag, see the fire, see us dance
see the shadows,
those dance too.

to form a piece of every theory of everything with words in it.
Word.
We be all that ever matters, at moments like this.
Doncha love the cheesiness,
ripe, , message
says
it still smells like food.
Stomach rumbles, there is a word for that, bunny trail,
brain bubble,
been there done that and the whole gang from 10-18, the novel,

all of em, Notacrook, the whole cast, on that stage
in this book of my life with you in it.

We can work some wonders with 2014 tec + the connection
Ai ai ai, I say, I love to say I love living now

time is as always, changing, to the beat of my own tin drum.
We won.
We do not study war, we study life, and life is a story all its own.

---------------------


Pure, mere realm of mind in time
immaterial ever origin fin ginfinginfingin
imagine
an engine that starts
but but but you never knew such things were known

as common sensed events, shadows shown on walls
for all the seers, in the shade of this wall
arising in the book of life I am involving in my solution…

FTA… to this day it does mean find the answer,
but you can reinterpret am-big-u-is-us words say
FTA always think first first to attack, sir

it means, first to attack, t' me.

soon's I see the whites of those eyes comin' up my
bunker's hill,
if I have to -- glitch have hold to of -- must say
he's too old to cuss the mustard any more,
let all the seed blowwildwisht away

Peace, in my time. DID I imagine this?
In a way, I did, I think.
I made a way this could happen, and it did,
because I did not do something wrong
at one of the right times to do
something in the former
time-state-stage e re en
volvement in humus re-entropication, getting old
maturing adul-tatifity
this idea of dying, so slow
I can see trees grow, and the crow in the momma pine
musta died, he never came back after that last big ******
in february, I think, around the time
my house ate a tab of acid, 2021.

Tep. Yep. could be we stretch a point and make some
thing be
real enough to feel if there was a 10 wpm to 2 or 3 each
breath
or beat of your heart, as mine
stops
- thinks back to the ori-gin fin gin
- point
- spark
in the stretching, on the rack, you know the image, stretch
FREEDOM
splat.

Not that. This realm of timeless reason being.

Thinking iferies you must imagine
or not sense, not sense as non
presence
in time to glimpse the if that winks at you and laughs,

you saw, says this other, joy-driven, you can feel it,
feel it, this is
eu-daemonical ha, I knew it, we have a recipe for this,
I wrote it down

---------- but this works if you stir it in with the rest
at the end of your last war, you can make a fine rest
with just this little bit of patience built by reading this, twice.

The physical symptoms are unmistakable. The tightening of the chest. The quickness of breath. The mental longing that doesn’t go away, that doesn’t falter or get distracted. This is what love is at the very surface, but man is it hard to control. It’s as if everything else in the universe suddenly took a plunge in stock value and the only thing worth investing any amount of time in was that person. I don’t know who it might be for you. For me, it’s a girl. For me, it’s someone I’d like to spend the rest of my days with, the rest of time with if possible. It is someone I would die for, and more importantly, someone I would live for.
Sue me. Martyr me for the cheesiness I’m spewing. That doesn’t matter. Literally nothing else does. It means something, it means I’m human. Above the hopeless expanse of responsibilities and tasks exists still a space in my soul for someone else. Well, to lose that is to be human, too, I guess.